


Spreading Fires

by yeah_well_hey



Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra
Genre: Angst, Drama, Gen, Other, Spirits
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-10
Updated: 2014-10-10
Packaged: 2018-02-20 16:37:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 38
Words: 50,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2435609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yeah_well_hey/pseuds/yeah_well_hey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set in an AU where Amon really is a scarred non-bender with gifts from the spirits. Amon slowly begins to see the evil effects of his influence, but is determined to complete his Revolution, as his time is running out. One day, the spirits will come and claim what is theirs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Illumination

_What happens when you jump blindfolded into an abyss? Are you not subjected to the laws of gravity? Does the impact not seal your fate? Why this agitation, this unease? There is no need to see where you are headed. Sensing your doom is no different from staring it right in the face. The end result is the same. You shall be engulfed by the abyss. And you cannot oppose it. Because you yourself have chosen to soar into it._

 

[POV: Lieutenant]

The weak flicker of the candle danced rebelliously on the walls as I struggled to clean my armour in the near-darkness. I had forgotten. The day had been exhausting and my mind had been filled with thoughts of revenge, making me forget my own rituals.  
I soon heard footsteps in the corridor. I knew he was there. He could perceive even the faintest glow of a light in the distance, like a lone sailor in the middle of an ocean.  
"You are up uncommonly late, old friend," Amon said as he stood behind me.  
I turned to look at him.  
"Y-Yes," I replied, as though I'd been startled. "I realized I forgot to clean my armour and got out of bed to take care of it. We had a very... challenging day and it somehow slipped my mind."  
"It isn't like you to forget your old soldier's habit."  
"Indeed it isn't," I said, resuming my polishing. "I don't know how it happened. I usually cannot go to sleep until I have cleaned my armour. They might have declared me a deserter and denied me the rank I should have received, but along with my war skills, my soldier's etiquette will always belong to me."  
"That is a very valuable habit; it denotes self-respect and discipline. Two crucial qualities without which it is useless to undertake anything at all in life."  
Amon walked passed me to sit at the other end of the table.  
"I agree," I said, his words still echoing through my head as I kept cleaning my armour.  
I finally glanced up and saw my leader with his elbows on the table, hand over mask.  
"But what are you doing still awake at this hour, Amon? Have you been... not sleeping again?"  
His yellow eyes met mine, though one of them was drowned in the shadow of his mask and remained hidden.  
"I cannot sleep," he declared. "My psyche is endlessly simmering with thoughts of the revolution."  
 _Not again._ Such recklessness. Lessons never learned, battles always renewed.  
"You cannot expect me to sit and watch while you destroy yourself," I said, my voice tense with outrage. "I will not have you collapse like you did last time. You hadn't slept in two weeks. Two weeks, Amon. How long has it been now?  
"I don't know. Five days, perhaps."  
His nonchalant demanour only angered me more.  
"It is unacceptable. We need you to have all your strength, for what would we do without you to lead us? Without you to inspire us? Without you to equalize those odious, bastard benders?"  
"I appreciate your concern, but I feel perfectly fine. In fact, I've never felt better, stronger or more lucid than I do now."  
"But you must take better care of your health. You must try to - "  
"I cannot help it, Lieutenant," he said, interrupting me. "And even if I could, I wouldn't want to. It is the price I must pay for what I can do."  
I held my breath and sustained his gaze.  
"What… What do you mean?"  
"I never did tell you, did I? About how I learned to equalize. You never asked."  
"I…I never dared to. And I didn't think it was necessary I should know. Why should I presume to have the right to know all of your secrets? You told me of your suffering, of your loss. You saved my life and gave it a new meaning. You conferred me the rank I was denied. What more could I ask of you, but to lead me? I pledged my existence to you and our glorious cause, and I will follow you in battle to the grave, if I must."  
"But perhaps you should know. Perhaps I should tell you about my illumination, so that you may understand me better, Lieutenant."

* * *

"Where to begin. As you know, in the time of my exile, I traveled the world to gather as much knowledge as I could, the fire of our ideals already burning silently within me. One day, the hands of fate brought me to a mountain range in the southern Earth Kingdom, not too far from the old town of Gaoling, I believe.

I was tired and hungry, and desperate to find a place to rest, but I was utterly alone on those unwelcoming cliffs. The red sun was setting, mocking me and my foolish ambition. I wanted to make it across to the next village, but I felt my strength desert me with each step.  
I kept on walking regardless, until - at last - I saw the silhouette of a man in the distance.

This lonely figure I beheld at dawn was just like me, cast aside and shunned because an ugliness was seen in him. In his case, he had a gift benders and non-benders alike feared. He was a master of hypnosis and an illusionist.  
It was he that would become my teacher. He was a madman, a genious, a prodigy. His name was _Tao_.

Drawing nearer, I found him in a trance, sitting at the edge of a cliff, speaking to the wind. I did not dare interrupt him, but I needed shelter and my feet would carry me no longer. So I sat by him and waited.  
When he finally emerged from his daze, he sensed my presence and called me an intruder. He said he had come to this mountain to live in solitude and contemplation, and that I had no right to be there. Because I would not move, he suddenly paced towards me and declared, yes, declared: 'You will leave this place immediately.'

I believe that he wanted to hypnotize me. He reached out for my forehead, but then he saw my mask.  
He stood before me with an inquisitive, crazed look in his eyes and asked me if Koh has stolen my face. I did not know what he meant, so I simply told him that _firebenders_ had stolen my face and my soul. "Nonsense", he replied. I can see your soul right through your wretched, yellow eyes. It is ripped and torn like sails of a ship that was caught in a merciless storm."

The truth of his words shook me. Tao backed away, no longer seeing me as a threat. I felt compelled to tell him my story, and in exchange, he told me his. Long ago, he'd been chased away from his own village, because people feared his gift and thought it evil. But he had been given it by the spirits themselves. As a boy, he had demonstrated natural inclination for the arts of the mind. When he was 6 years old, he could could influence people's perception, making them believe he could bend spoons. By the age of 19, he had already read most of the literature on hypnosis and mind control and had completely immersed himself in their practice.  
Tao's talent captured the attention of five spirits whose names were never revealed to me. They were the ones who, when he grew older and wiser, gave him the power of creating the most fantastic of illusions. They wanted him to show the incredulous mortals a glimpse of the spirit world, because they believed the mortals would be less resistant if it came from one of their own.  
They were wrong. Tao was quickly declared dangerous and his show was forbidden. How could a man produce such elaborate visions? What insidious trickery, what perverse manipulation of the psyche was he employing? How dare he trifle with their minds? If spirits had indeed granted him such powers, they were surely evil. Some people are too proud to accept to have their weak minds elevated. They would rather rot in their own base concepts of reality. Tao was brutally beaten and chased from the village, and every other place where he tried to perform his act, for his reputation preceded him everywhere. So he went to the mountains, away from the rest of the world that hated him so. And he had been living there, secluded, in poverty and misery, under the roof of a run-down, improvised home ever since.

Tao sensed something in me and offered his hospitality. He said that I had unusual spiritual strength, not unlike that which he'd had as a child, and that perhaps he could teach me what he knew. If the spirits found me worthy, they would surely allow me to learn. Ultimately, they would help me find a use for my skill.  
And so I stayed with him, for I believed it would be useful. He taught me about the dark arts of hypnosis and mind control. He also taught me about the light chakra, about insight and illusion. I found myself able to to things I never dreamed I could do, though in practice, I never reached Tao's level. I was far from it.

However, about a year later, Tao said that I had nothing more to learn from him. I could manipulate people's will with persuasion - a light form of hypnosis. I was also able to invade their psyche and I knew how to impose illusion upon the light chakra. But Tao did not believe that the spirits would grant me to create spectacular illusions so that I could put on shows for the mortals like he had done. He believed that they wanted something else from me. The little I'd acquired - for according to him there was no question that the spirits had allowed me to learn - was to be used otherwise. So Tao sent me away to find it out on my own.  
I gladly left, for my time with Tao had not been particularly pleasant. There were many things that were wrong about him. Many things that I hated. He was also growing more insane each day, getting lost in multiplying fits of delirium for hours on end, leaving me there wondering when he'd come back to reality. Perhaps I even doubted what he had said about the spirits. But all in all, I had acquired new knowledge and believed it was indeed time for me to move on. I know now that in making me his apprentice, Tao had followed the will of the spirits.

Indeed, soon after I had left the mountains, the spirits manifested themselves to me in the Si Wong desert. It was on the day of the summer solstice.  
I still don't know how I had the strength to cross those burning dunes all by myself. I had ventured through the desert knowing it could mean the end of me, and somehow, I didn't _care_. If I was to be erased by the sand, then so be it. It would have meant that I was weak and that I deserved to die. The desert would simply finish what the firebenders had started so many years ago, when they swarmed into the home of a family of poor, defenseless farmers and destroyed their peace forever.

I walked day and night, until I became so exhausted that I fell to my knees by a large crater. And that's when they chose to appear before me in a vision.  
The five spirits who had given Tao his powers. In that instant I knew it was them, and I cursed myself for all the doubts I might had had about their existence. They stood there, those vague, dark forms, observing, contemplating, as though they could see my scars behind the mask. They seemed to be wearing masks themselves, as though they wanted me to feel at ease in their presence. As though I was to think of myself as their _equal_. "Rise", one of them said, and they told me that they knew about my suffering. They said that after the affront of denial, the spirits were now faced with an even greater offense. Some mortals had indeed come to think of themselves as higher beings than the spirits, using their bending abilities idly, or to claim supremacy over others. They said that in time their gift had become a vice. Benders had been infected with arrogance and had become impure. They had created chaos and disorder and their bending had to be removed. It was time for someone to cleanse the world of their impurity. The spirits who disagreed were just as corrupt as the benders.  
The figures all began to speak at the same time, causing me unbearable pain. But the streams of their cavernous voices intertwined in my head, until they finally became one. _It called my name_. I felt my body gently floating upwards, though my feet were still firmly dug into the sand. My eyes were assailed with light and a cold wave rushed through me. Everything became clear, like the eternal fog had lifted from my mind.  
That's when I blacked out. The illumination had been all too powerful, all too sudden for my mortal mind. I saw my mother, felt her gentle embrace. And then I felt my face burning all over again. The bender's transgressions against me were renewed.

When I woke up, I was alone. But not for long. A small group of sandbending desert-dwellers attacked me. It all happened so fast. One of them moved in towards me.  
I dodged his attack, grabbed him by the back of the neck and touched his forehead like Tao had taught me. I wanted to try to impose the illusion of his allies turning against him. That way, I could better persuade him to bury them and himself under the sand. But upon entering his psyche, something else happened instead.

_I took his bending away._

Oh, how he screamed when he realized what I had done to him. Like I had just ripped his soul out of his body. The cowards amongst his companions fled like rats. The braver ones, I equalized. I would no longer endure the tyranny of benders. No pity, no compassion for the depraved. From then on, I knew that the spirits had found me worthy. And I knew what I had to do with my life. All the knowledge I had gathered in my travels, all the training I had been through had led up to that moment. I was going to start a revolution."

* * *

[POV: Amon]

The Lieutenant gazed at me in silence, completely absorbed by my story. I had never told it to anyone before. Not in such detail. The parts I had omitted did not matter. He now knew me better than anyone else in the world.  
"Insomnia, Lieutenant, is a price I must pay for my ability," I continued. "When I equalize, I momentarily enter the subject's mind. I introduce a permanent illusion in the subconscious, blocking insight in the light chakra. So in time my own mind becomes restless, as it cannot bear to be confined to its own realm anymore. The more I equalize, the less I will sleep. A small sacrifice, considering that Tao lost his sanity in exchange for the gift he was given. I am not a spirit, Lieutenant. I have the limitations of a mortal. But I am dedicated to our cause, and I will keep on doing what is necessary for the Revolution."  
He finally spoke, placing a hand over his heart, as though he were about to swear an oath.  
"I... I understand. And I am honoured that you have shared your story with me, Amon. Deeply honoured."  
"It was only natural that you should know. We are friends, after all, are we not?"  
"Yes. And that is why, despite what you have told me, I feel the need to insist that you should take care of yourself. Perhaps if you took a break from mass equalizing?"  
"That is out of the question."  
"But you will collapse again."  
"I will collapse and recover. Then I will collapse and recover again. And again… It is to be the cycle of my life."  
"Promise me that you will rest, at least. Lie down on your bed and do not exert yourself. Promise me."  
His concern for me was so pathetic. So _misplaced_.  
"I promise," I replied, rising to my feet. "Now I will bid you good night, Lieutenant."  
He rose with me. As I walked passed him, he spoke again.  
"Good night. Amon?"  
"Yes?"  
"May I ask what happened to Tao? Did you ever… see him again?"  
"I did. Tao was an earthbender. So I returned to the mountains and equalized him. It was no easy task, for his mind was a sinister gallery of twists and turns. It offered much resistance. But in the end, the spirits favoured me."  
He searched for his words, killing the impulse of his morality and convincing himself of the false righteousness of an act of treason. I had conditioned him well.  
"It…It was the right thing to do, my leader."  
I started walking away.  
"Well, you go and rest now, sir. Alright?"  
"I will. Good night," I replied, then closed the door behind me.  
When I got to my cold, empty room, I took off my tunic, my undershirt, my armour, my mask. I put them on the bed and scoffed at the Lieutenant's plea.  
I would not rest that night. In the darkness, I dropped to the ground and began doing pushups.

I was not one to waste my time.


	2. An Exchange

[POV: Asami]

After my father's betrayal and my move to Air Temple Island, I decided to go back home and get some of my things. I went at night, despite Korra's concerns about my safety. I made her promise not to tell Mako and refused to let her escort me. It was my home; I had the right to be there. I certainly wasn't going to let anybody stand in my way. And besides, I knew that at night, I would most likely go unnoticed. I would be safe.  
How wrong, how reckless I was. I did not know of the dangers of night itself.

Once downtown, I took a shortcut through a humid alley. The walls were covered with profanities. Words of hatred against benders. The city had changed so much in the last few months.  
I felt the unease of being observed from afar. I reassured myself by looking back and seeing nobody behind me. Only blackness.  
But then I felt a hand on my mouth. And I heard the voice from the radio.  
"Shhh," it said. "Don't move."  
Fear made it easy for me to stay still. I held my breath and waited to hear it again.  
"Hello, Asami. Your father asked me to deliver a message to you."  
It really was him. It was Amon.  
"He says that he loves you, too but that he hopes you will come to your senses and realize that the Equalists are right. That you will opt for the correct side once you've finally understood his motives."  
The warmth of his body, so close to mine, troubled me. Somehow, it did not seem normal for such a man to be made of flesh and blood.  
"You might be wondering why he sent me, of all people. The answer is simple. He wanted to show you that no matter what you choose to do, you are not to be harmed by the Equalists. Not even by me. Our war is not waged against you. Whether your friends would do the same, should you join us, remains questionable, however. But that is for you to see.  
He'd spoken the word friends with disdain, as though it were a falsehood, a lie.  
"Now I will let you speak, in case you have a message for your father. If you don't have anything to say to him, I will leave. Stay very still and don't try anything bold. It would be useless and you know it."  
Amon removed his hand and pulled away, his warmth deserting me. How could my father have sent this monster to me? Anger soon gave me the necessary courage to turn and face him.  
"Why are you doing this?" I asked. "I lost my mother at the hands of firebenders, too. But I don't condemn all benders for it!"  
"I'm not here to discuss this with you," he dryly replied. Do you have a message for your father or not? I you don't, I will simply leave."  
He turned away.  
"Wait," I said. "Tell him… tell him that I will always love him, but that I hope that he will come to his senses. I stand by my friends. I stand by the Avatar."  
"The Avatar," he declared, with a hint of derision in his voice. "Yes. Very well, I shall deliver your message to your father. Oh, and one more thing."  
He looked me straight in the eyes, forcing me to stare back into his.  
"I'm glad your father asked me to come see you, Asami. Because your face is the complete opposite of mine."  
Amon's hand gently stroked my cheek. My heart raced. Agitation, confusion, disgust. What was he doing?  
"Goodbye," was the last thing he said, before he finally backed away into the shadows from which he'd emerged.


	3. Mercy

[POV: Lieutenant]

The first time I witnessed my leader's deep belief in our cause was also the first time I witnessed how cold and unflinching he could be.

Our men had caught a child, a little girl who had tried to infiltrate our headquarters in order to free her mother, held captive in one of our cells. I don't remember why we'd kept that woman there - perhaps we wanted to extract information from her. I was told what had happened, and asked what should be done with the child, whether she should be released or not. She was a bender.

I decided that I should consult with Amon. He was in our conference room, staring out the dirty window that faced a wall.  
"Forgive me for intruding, sir. I... It seems our people have caught an intruder. A little girl, trying to get to her mother, one of our anti-equalist captives. We were wondering how we should proceed with her."  
"A bender?" he asked without turning around.  
"Yes," I answered, respectfully putting my arms behind my back and waiting for his orders.  
"Bring her to me."  
I did as I was told and had two men fetch her. When they brought her, I was surprised at how young she was. No more that seven years old. Long, brown hair, hazel eyes, a charmless face with no distinctive features. She was all tied up, an indication that she'd been difficult to handle. Benders are vicious creatures, no matter their age or apparent fragility.  
My leader finally turned to face us. He gazed at the girl and lowered himself to her level, putting one knee on the floor.  
"What is your name, my child?"  
"Lai," she whispered, with false confidence in her voice.  
"And what element do you bend, Lai?"  
"Earth."  
"Earth. You manipulate the earth. Does this element not do enough for you, Lai? Does it not feed you from its crops when you are hungry? Does it not save you from the waters when you are drowning? And does it not hold your house upon its back and let you marvel at the flowers it allows to grow in the greatest of fields as in the smallest of pots? My poor child, what gives you the right to move it and shape it according to your own will? What gives you the right to trifle with it as you do? To use it as a toy, as you do? If there is no mountain, it is not for you to create one. If you want to be truly connected to this element, you must learn to value it as it exists."  
Amon gently stroked the girl's cheek and rested his hand on her forehead and looked her straight in the eyes. He asked us to bring him her mother, and we did. I held her back as she watched what followed.  
"Lai, I will give you back the innocence that was stripped away from you when your mother first allowed you to bend. You will not regret your bending, because it is a disease that has made you impure. As impure as was your own mother, standing there, now cleansed of her sickness. You've been lead here by arrogance, _arrogance_ caused by your bending, which made you believe it was alright for a child of your age to expose herself to danger as you just did. This will not do. You will return to the innocence with which non-benders are born. You will be given that innocence. And you will not grow to torment other people, like so many benders do. You will be given the chance to remain as immaculate as snow."  
I did not know then what I know now. I did not know that he used hypnosis on her to ease the shock that she would receive.  
" _No!_ Please, I beg of you! No! Have... have you no _mercy?_ "  
The mother's cries echoed throughout the room and she became so agitated that I almost lost my grip on her.  
"It is _because_ I feel mercy that I am doing this," Amon said to her as he grabbed the girl by the back of the neck, placed his thumb on her forehead, and promptly equalized her.  
I let the mother fall to her knees. She began to sob uncontrollably, and Amon said we should bring her back to her cell and release the child. The two equalists who had brought the prisoners seemed horrified. I confess that my feelings were not so different from theirs. They, _we_ did not understand. Why equalize a child? We had much to learn.

Oh, what a glorious leader we had. His love for purity and for equality transcended everything. He was cruel, yet he was kind. He was merciless, yet he was compassionate. He should have received that woman's gratitude, but all he received was her _hate_.


	4. Morning Beauty

[POV: Lieutenant]

One day, I saw my leader holding a picture in his hands. He seemed lost within it.  
"What's that, my leader?" I asked, drawing nearer.  
"A picture of Hiroshi Sato's daughter. He dropped it in the corridor earlier, and I retrieved it."  
"Aren't you going to give it back to him?"  
"In a moment."  
I noticed the characters at the top of the picture.  
"...What does it say?"  
"Morning Beauty. It's the meaning of her name."  
"I see."  
Unwilling to pursure the conversation, Amon turned around and walked away. He added one thing, and one thing only.  
"Morning Beauty, I shall be mourning beauty when I part with this picture...

 


	5. Nightmare

[POV: Asami]

Instead of helping me find peace after my encounter with Amon, sleep only served to summon the curse of a twisted nightmare.  
I was searching for my father in an empty room that appeared infinite, its limits blurred by total darkness. I called out for him again and again.  
"Father, father, where are you? Daddy, please, answer me," I begged.  
In vain.  
Then a figure emerged from the shadows. It spoke in a familiar voice.  
"Your father isn't here anymore, Asami."  
The man drew closer. It was _Amon_.  
And his mask was smeared with blood.  
"Your father is _dead_. He took his own life because he couldn't bear the disgrace of having a _traitor_ for a daughter."  
I began to cry and screamed at him.  
"No! No, you're lying! You're lying, you murderer! _You_ killed him! Take off your mask! Stop hiding behind it like a coward! Show me your face! Show it to me!"  
His yellow eyes peered at me through the holes of his mask.  
"You're hoping it'll disgust you, don't you, Asami? So it'll make it easier for you to hate me, like you'd want to. Your vile betrayal of your own father would feel less horrible to you, wouldn't it? I suppose I owe you at least that satisfaction. You want to see my face? Fine."  
Suddenly, he was inches away from me.  
"Come here. I'll let you _feel_ _it_."  
Amon brutally seized my face and then slowly slid off his mask. He had so many scars that I could barely distinguish any human features in him.  
His lips touched mine. It was like his mouth was filled with fire. I gasped with pain, but he didn't let me breathe. He kissed me with hate, as though he were punishing me, and when he pulled away to take his breath, he asked:

"Can you feel how my flesh is still _burning?_ "

I woke up screaming. My body was full of sweat and my heart was racing, just like it had in the alley, when Amon had stroked my cheek. I felt ashamed, so ashamed. And afraid. Was I truly a traitor to my father? And did I feel _desire_ for Amon?  
I immediately thought of Mako. If I could only see him, I knew that it would all go away. Everything would be alright again. My nightmare would fade from memory and he would save me from this shame.  
I got out of bed and went straight for Bolin and Mako's room. I knocked, but the brother I had been hoping to see was not the one who opened the door.  
"Oh, hey Asami," Bolin said.  
"I'm so sorry to wake you up, Bolin. I… I need to see Mako. Could you get him to come out here for a second?"  
He looked embarrassed.  
"Uhm… Mako isn't exactly here right now. He kind of fell asleep by Korra's bedside as he was watching over her. I didn't have the heart to wake him up. He'd been so worried, what with her recent nightmares and all… Was it… Something important you wanted to see him about?"  
"No. No, it wasn't. I just had a bad dream and I was scared. I'm fine now," I said.  
"Do you want to… talk about it?"  
"No, I'd rather not, Bolin. Never mind. I'll be alright" I replied, turning away and leaving.  
Only the _Avatar's_ nightmares deserved Mako's attention.


	6. Deceit

[POV: Lieutenant]

 _Nightfall._ It was once again time to put the Revolution on hold, and to slip into bed. But I couldn't. I simply couldn't. Like my leader, I was experiencing insomnia. Or perhaps I wasn't. Perhaps my mind was imagining it all. Above all, I desired to be like Amon. Ever since he'd told me about his condition, about how he couldn't sleep, I had started to believe that it was contagious. Like his words, his ideas, his vision, his utter intransigence. I knew that it meant self-destruction - the very thing of which I had warned Amon - but I couldn't help it. I was like a hypochondriac for whom reason had become completely foreign.

I decided to go outside for some fresh air. I hoped that it would help clear my mind. On my way out, I met Hiroshi Sato in the corridor. He seemed agitated, bothered. There was something different about his eyes, which were much easier to read than Amon's.

"Lieutenant," he nodded.  
"Mr. Sato. Fine evening, isn't it?" I asked, not really meaning it but trying to be polite. We owed him much.  
"Yes, I... I suppose it is. How are you, Lieutenant?"  
"I'm well enough. And yourself?"  
"I must confess that I am a little upset. You see, I had a picture - a picture of Asami, my daughter. It was very precious to me, because it represented the child I knew before she betrayed me. She looked just like her mother on it. I reached into my pocket just now, to have a look at her face, and I remembered... I no longer have the picture. I... I seem to have lost it. I cannot find it anywhere and I am grieved."  
 _Morning Beauty._ I saw the picture in my head and knew exactly where it was. But I still wanted to deny my instincts.  
"When... when did you last see it, sir?"  
"About a week ago," he sighed. "I noticed it was gone, but I thought that it would reemerge. That I had simply misplaced it. But I fear it is lost."  
It had been a week since I'd seen it myself.

_How could he keep it? Why would he keep it?_

"I... Perhaps it fell on the floor somewhere," I replied. "I will make a few inquiries, ask around, see if I can retrieve it for you. It cannot be far."

_Why would he keep it?_

"Would you really do that for me?" Sato asked, with a touch of hope in his voice.  
"Why, yes. Of course. Leave it to me. It is the least I could do, after all you've done for the Revolution."  
"I am very grateful. Really."  
I nodded and bid him goodnight. I gave up going outside and headed straight for Amon's room.

* * *

I found him wide awake, as I had expected. He was just standing there, in a dark corner, arms crossed and head down. For a moment I felt angry. I had told him to rest, but he obviously wasn't. What thoughts, what torturous thoughts kept him so still and absorbed, like the world around him was a lie? My anger soon subsided, only to be replaced with concern.

"Yes, Lieutenant?" he whispered.  
He always knew when I was there. He never needed to turn around, for he sensed me. He _always_ sensed me.  
"I hope I'm not bothering you, sir?"  
"Never, Lieutenant. You never bother me. Except to ask me questions when I'm sleeping, but that doesn't happen too often these days, does it?" he answered, probably smiling under his mask.  
"I just spoke to Hiroshi Sato," I said. "That picture of his daughter. You gave it back to him, didn't you?"

Silence.

 _Lie to me. Lie to me,_ I thought.

"No," he replied. "As a matter of fact, I didn't. I wanted to keep it a while longer. It seems to bring me luck."

Before I could react, he turned around and I found myself pinned to the wall. I felt his fingers digging into my neck and I could barely breathe. The force of the attack had taken me by surprise and I felt _afraid_.

I suffocated as he searched for my eyes. I did not dare to defend myself, so I just let my arms hang on my sides, like I had loss use of them.  
"How _dare_ you? How dare you deceive me?" he said, his tone a terrifying combination of tranquility and rage. "How dare you ask me 'You gave it back, didn't you?', as though you expect me to lie to you? As though you didn't already know that I have it? Do you have so little trust in me, your leader? And you are my right-hand man. My _Lieutenant_. Why not simply ask, 'Sir, why didn't you give it back'? I would have told you that I like to look at that picture, for it represents everything that I have been denied in my life. Beauty, serenity, _innocence_."  
His grip grew tighter.  
"You come to me with the resolute intention of treating me like a liar. You conspire against me within your own mind and treat me like I am beneath you."  
I tried to shake my head in denial.  
"N… No… It's not…" I muttered, unable to speak.  
"Did…did I give you reason to doubt me?"  
Release. He finally let go of me and I slipped against the wall, sinking to the ground and losing myself in a fit of coughing.  
"Lieutenant, you know that when I started the Revolution, I made a vow. I swore that I would remain celibate so that I could dedicate myself entirely to our cause. My life no longer belongs to me."  
He lowered himself to my level and I felt his hot breath in my ear.  
"I follow the will of the spirits," he whispered.  
"I have renounced certain things in life. Women, drinking, _pleasure_. It isn't always easy, Lieutenant. I am but flesh and blood. And when I saw that picture of Asami, it moved me. I kept it out of weakness, but that is as far as it goes. I intended to give it back to Sato. I just wanted to hold onto it a little longer."  
He rose.  
"But if you feel disappointed in your leader's humanity, I promise to do my best to eradicate it completely."  
I lifted my head up and saw him fumbling through a drawer in his desk. Then I saw him holding the picture.  
"I shall return it myself," he said.  
"N-No, let me do it. I… I will do it."  
Amon threw the picture at me.  
"As you wish."  
The coughing slowly subsided. He stood there, watching me in my moment of disgrace. The humiliation was unbearable. Was this his Lieutenant? I felt like I no longer deserved the title.  
"Please," I said, recovering. " _Please_ , Amon. Forgive me. _Forgive me_."  
He turned his head to the side.  
"I forgive you. But I am very disappointed. I thought you had more respect for me."  
"I do! I do. I merely… I didn't think clearly. I acted like a fool. You did not deserve that. I curse myself for what I said to you."  
"It doesn't matter. You are forgiven."  
He was about to go when I grabbed him by the leg.  
"Wait. Please."  
I rose to my feet, knees trembling.  
"Punish me," I begged him. "Punish me now, and then I will feel like I am _truly_ forgiven. I deserve your punishment. I want you to see that I trust you entirely. That I leave myself in your hands. Lead, and I will _follow_."  
He considered me for a second and simply said: "Very well."

The first blow sent me back to the floor. He stroke me with this fist and I started bleeding profusely from the nose. Then he kicked me in the ribs and crushed my hand with his heel. Pain invaded my body from every direction, drowning me in general agony. Just when I thought it was over, he grabbed me and threw me against the opposing wall.

Oh, I had received fair punishment. The hand of my leader had hit me with its justice. I welcomed pain like an old friend, hoping it would last as long as possible, so that I might fully experience its redeeming power.  
"Thank… Thank you, my leader," I managed to utter, looking up at Amon.  
"You are welcome. Now get out of my sight and take that picture with you."  
I obeyed and headed for my room. I would hand in the picture in the morning, for I couldn't let Sato see me in the state I was in. I removed my armour, got into bed, and I slept. I was not like my leader. I was an _insect_.


	7. Unworthy

[POV: Lieutenant]

I had gone to bed elated with my punishment and relieved by the certainty that I had gotten what I'd deserved. But as I looked at myself in the mirror that morning, I felt nothing but disappointment.

My leader had given me what I'd begged for and my entire body was still in pain, but all I could think about was that it hadn't been enough. I could have sustained much, much more.

But Amon had found me unworthy.

I'd seen the scars on his back, those that he'd inflicted upon himself. He had told me they were punishment for a mistake he never wanted to make again. In giving me so little, my leader had implied that I would cross him again, and that he didn't _care_.


	8. Crimes

[POV: Amon]

_Sometimes in my sleeplessness, my mind would become agitated with terror. I was afraid. Afraid of what I inspired in those who followed me. Afraid of what I inspired in my only friend. He was slowly losing his humanity…_

"You are out late tonight, Lieutenant. Welcome back."

"Thank you. Yes, I took a long walk through the city. I needed to be alone for a while. It helps me think, refocus…"

"I was like that too. I would wander on the streets by myself sometimes. But I no longer can, for I am instantly recognized and no longer anonymous. Ironically, the mask the used to help me hide from the world is what gives me away today…"

Silence.

"But you seem troubled, old friend. What happened?"

"I was spat on, sir."

"By a resentful bender, I suppose?"

"No sir, it was a non-bender. He said he knew I was your pawn and that scum like us should leave Republic City. That he despises the Equalists and wishes he'd been born a bender so he could teach me some manners."

"I understand your outrage, Lieutenant. But as you know, even non-benders can be blind to the light of truth. In the end, however, it always shines brighter than the lies. You must understand that these people have been conditioned all their lives to believe in the greatness of benders. It is our job to show them otherwise…"

"Yes."

"But tell me, what did you say to him…? To the non-bender who spat on you?"

"I said nothing, sir. I… I slit his throat."

Silence.

"Killing those who disagree with us is not a solution. Neither is killing the benders themselves. We want to purify and enlighten, not decimate. Please remember that in the future, Lieutenant."

_…and I was guilty of all his crimes._


	9. Abyss

[POV: Lieutenant]

As my leader's insomnia slowly grew worse, it began to _terrify_ me. I would often hear Amon stumbling around at night, scraping the walls with his armor as he walked along the corridors, barely able to stand on his feet. He had promised me that he would rest, yet he kept on wandering through the darkness. He seemed to be in a state of utter denial, as though he refused to accept that his body was failing him.

One night I heard him fall down the stairs. There was a loud thud, followed by the sound of a body, slipping. I knew immediately. I knew it was him. I rose from my bed and went to find him. He was at the bottom of the stairs, face down, lying completely still. For a moment I feared for his life.

I hurried down and helped him sit upright. He opened his yellow eyes and they seemed to glow, like the flicker of the candle I had brought along with me.

"You've come to watch your leader as he embarrasses himself by falling down the stairs, Lieutenant?" he said, with a hint of amusement in his voice.  
"Are you alright?" I asked him, checking for any protruding bones or unnatural angles on his limbs. But he was intact.  
"Quite fine, thank you. I suppose I really should rest, shouldn't I?"  
"You must."  
"I fell a long way," he said, shifting his eyes to the top of the stairs, then plunging them back into mine.  
I'd always known there was something supernatural about Amon. But the way his eyes flared through the blackness made it even clearer to me.  
 _Did the spirits live within him?_  
"Tomorrow we must start planning our next rally, Lieutenant. Perhaps if you talked."  
"I… I suppose I could."  
"I want to give everyone a voice. To all the equalists. They need to speak, the people need to hear their voices… the texture, the smell of their voices, melting in the pyre… They… They dissolved her skin you know, so she cries… And then they search for everybody, and they fill the house with fire, but I, I hate that glow, those colours, I hate how sharp the flames are, like they are ragged, torn, like I never even had a face, like it was never really there at all… And they pour their hate into me, they pour all of it into me and it feels like drowning except it's hot and it's painful and it's vicious, _vicious_ , I can barely breathe…. The door is open in vain. Why is it open? We are still inside and they are inside and we are all inside…"

The insomnia had pushed my leader into delirium. It made him tell me things I was unworthy of hearing. Amon had never spoken to me of his pain. I had come to believe that he had erased it completely from his being. What I heard, I regretted, as though I had eavesdropped on a forbidden conversation. As though I had intruded upon his privacy.

I had inadvertently stared into the abyss of what lied deep within my leader. And the abyss had stared back into me, filling me with unspeakable anxiety. _There was a human soul in that body._


	10. Changes

[POV: Amon]

As the Revolution progressed and the sleeplessness persisted, my body began to go through bizarre, near-mystical changes.

First, I noticed my eyes. They seemed to always reflect the light, even when I was standing in complete darkness. I know the Lieutenant noticed as well, but he held his tongue for fear of being too inquisitive. Sometimes, I would stare at myself in the mirror for hours, and could no longer see my scars.

My skin would appear as black as coal, and glowing like magma. One moment I would be myself, and the next, I would be this ever-burning creature.

Perhaps my sleeplessness was altering my perception of the world. Perhaps it was just an illusion created by my tired mind. But it all felt and looked so real. My appearance would shift underneath the mask, alternate between the two states at times that I couldn't predict. In the end it no longer mattered to me whether it was real or not, as my mask hid me from the world. I even began to wear gloves. Only my eyes would betray what was happening with my body, which seemed to become ever more anonymous and devoid of personal characteristics.

It was what I had wanted, after all. To serve the spirits as their instrument. After my illumination, I had shaved my head and sworn that I would be whatever they needed me to be. That they could mold me according to their will. But somehow, the physical changes I went through felt wrong, like punishment for making a deal with spirits I knew nothing about.

What had I done?

_What had I done?_

...Had I been _cursed_?


	11. Plans

[POV: Lieutenant]

Blind optimism and exhaustion had made me drift into a daydream. It was noon and I was sitting in front of my rice bowl, fantasizing about the future. I foresaw our victory and ignored my doubts. Ignored the evidence about my leader. Ignored my intuition about his silent self-destruction. We would win. The world would change and we could all live in peace one day.

"You seem lost in your thoughts, Lieutenant," I heard Amon say as he entered the room. I would scarcely have noticed his presence if he hadn't spoken.  
I cleared my throat. "Sir" I said, trying to shake myself out of the daze he'd found me in.  
"What were you thinking about, old friend?"  
He sat down behind me and I felt like begging him not to call me his friend. I felt unworthy of it. He was my leader and I was his subordinate. But instead, I found myself asking him precisely the type of question that prompts an exchange that can only exist between _friends_.

"Amon, have you ever… Tell me, have you ever thought of what you might want to do when this is over? When the revolution is complete and we have won the war?"  
"That might take a while," Amon said, crossing his arms on the table.  
"Surely you don't expect to equalize the entire… world," I said, obliged to finish my sentence, even though I'd realized its impertinence.  
Amon chuckled.  
"Of course not, Lieutenant. You are right to assume so. I will equalize as many people as possible. I will equalize the most depraved as well as the most skilled. Once we have decapitated the world of its bending elite, we will count on the implementation of our idea amongst the masses. And one day, the world will reject its own benders. We will no longer be needed."  
"May that day come soon, Amon. What happiness we shall know," I declared.

I followed the curve of my bowl with the tip of my finger, searching for the courage to ask my question again. I was in the mood for mundane things. I wanted to talk about a normal life.  
"And on that day what will you do? What are your plans? …Mine are simple. I want to buy a cottage in the country. Perhaps cultivate rice. A quiet, simple life for an old warrior. I want nothing more. If justice is finally restored to this world, I will be perfectly content."  
"Yes. You'd deserve it, Lieutenant. As for me, I have no plans, no desires. No aspirations of my own. I gave up everything that I was to the spirits. I am their instrument. Once the revolution is over, there will be no use for me anymore. I might as well walk into an open fire and meet the fate of my family."  
I stopped playing around with the bowl and felt a knot in my stomach. My leader, whom I idolized, saying such cruel things about himself.  
"With all due respect, sir, don't you think that you deserve _more_?"  
"No. I deserve nothing. And saying that I do means assuming that I am leading this revolution for my own profit. But I am not a tyrant. I do not seek power. I seek to render powerless those that would oppress others."  
"But to say that you would let yourself die. You cannot mean it."  
"I am not a _person_ , Lieutenant. I am a blank canvas. The spirits have painted a mission upon me, and I will complete it. My own preferences and feelings are irrelevant. It isn't always easy, but I constantly strive to keep them at bay."  
I curled my fists.  
"You cannot be serious. No, I refuse to let you throw your life away. I won't allow it."  
"It is immaterial what happens to me when all this is over."  
"I dedicated my life to you, Amon. Until the day I die, I will serve you and defend your life. Make sure it is preserved. Whether you like it or not."

Amon rose.  
"That isn't for you to decide. _They_ will surely have a say in the matter," he said, turning away and leaving.


	12. Threshold

[POV: Asami]

The nightmare haunted me for days. Arbitrary images of it, assailing my mind when I was wide awake, no matter what I was doing. Always there, before my eyes. Fragments of darkness, seeping through the boundaries of night and dripping into _day_.

But when the memory of the nightmare finally stopped being so vivid, I found hope. I thought I was free, free from the guilt and the terror. Free from _him_. But I was wrong, I was so wrong.

That evening, I'd offered my father's car for our patrol. Team Avatar. We were going to drive through the city and chase the Equalists. We thought that nothing could stop us if our will was strong. We felt brave and unstoppable, like we could take on all our enemies at once. How foolish of us.

We ran into some Equalists in the old town. It was dark and we could barely see. As they drew near us, we felt threatened by the electric glow of their weapons, so we wasted no time and attacked. But their objective wasn't to face us. While my friends were busy pushing back our enemies, unknown hands seized me. I was pulled back into the night and there was nothing my friends could do to save me. By the time they'd realized I was missing, it was too late. "Asami!" I heard them call my name in the distance, but I was long gone.

_Silent thieves had captured me._

They dropped me on top of a building and surrounded me. I rose to defend myself. I kicked one of them in the face, then another in the stomach. I used my glove — their own weapon — and shocked another. Then I ran as fast as I could, but I noticed nobody was chasing me. I kept on going regardless, I couldn't stop. In my panic, my foot got caught in some infernal mass of tangled plumbing, and I fell. I tried freeing myself, but the more I struggled, the less I seemed to be able to release my foot.

That's when I heard a voice behind me. The voice from my nightmare.  
"Be still," it said.  
I felt a hand on my ankle. Then, I pulled my leg away and saw that I was free. Yet I knew I was still a prisoner. I crawled towards the edge of the roof and felt nauseous.  
"I wouldn't do that if I were you. It would be a very long fall," the voice behind me said.  
I rose to my feet and turned to face him. It was like he had no eyes. Like a shadow was wearing the mask. Like his body underneath was _blackness_ itself.  
"W-what do you want from me?" I said.  
"What do _I_ want from _you_? Aren't you the ones who came patrolling through the city, searching for me? Well, here I am."  
"We weren't — "  
"Do you want to defeat me? Take me down? Do you really think that you can end this so easily? Don't you understand that this is a revolution and that it will not be stopped by such childish schemes?"  
He walked towards me and I wanted to step back, but I couldn't. I was at the very edge of the rooftop. He'd cornered me like a wolf corners its prey. I had a weapon, but I couldn't even attack him. Why was it that whenever I encountered this man, I could barely move? I was not a bender, and yet I was afraid, so insanely afraid of him. There was something _otherworldly_ about him.  
"In truth, I do want something from you, Asami, he said, interrupting my thoughts. "I want you to tell your friends to start taking things more seriously. This is insulting, pathetic. As soon as you entered the city, I was informed of it."  
Amon leaned in to whisper in my ear.  
"I have eyes and ears everywhere. I know where you are at all times. I know which room you eat in at Air Temple Island, which room you bathe in, which room you fornicate with your _firebender_ in…"  
My hand rose to slap him, but his damned mask dissuaded me. It was no use.  
"I never —"  
He stepped back.  
"I know where the Avatar is. I know where the earthbender is. I know all of your whereabouts. I granted the Avatar a private audience to explain to her that she will face me when I have decided it. And you insult me by taking a car and driving into the city like some amateur vigilantes chasing a petty criminal. Is it really that simple in your minds? I am forced to conclude that you don't know who you are up against."  
"I know _exactly_ who we are up against. You are a _coward_. You commissioned five, six men to get me. You couldn't even do it yourself," I said, suddenly filled with reckless courage.  
He laughed. I found it a pleasant, soothing laughter and felt disgusted with myself for having such frivolous thoughts.  
"Why would I waste my time chasing you around the city, Asami? And why would I give false hope to your friends by showing up in front of them, as though their ridiculous efforts payed off? You don't seem to understand what I am to my followers. _They_ wish to serve _me_ as _I_ wish to serve _them_. A revolution is a collective effort. What right do I have to wage this war on my own and collect all the glory? I am but an instrument of the spirits, and you are wrong to target me alone."  
"What spirits would give you such rights over benders?"  
"You don't believe me. You've been conditioned all your life to think that only benders can have power over others. You poor, deluded child."  
"Get away from me!"  
Amon reached out for my face. I finally saw his eyes. His cruel, yellow eyes. Yet in them was a warmth, something I couldn't explain. Something that forbade me to look away. His gaze took control of mine as he stared deep, far into me. Like he stared right into my soul. He stroked my cheek and placed his thumb on my forehead, and I _allowed him_.  
"Listen to me, Asami. Your father did not betray you. _You_ betrayed him. He took care of you all your life, and gave you everything. And you chose a group of strangers over him. You broke his heart and you regret it. You know that you are the traitor. He did not tell you about his alliance with the Equalists because he wanted to protect you. _You_ are the traitor. But you are intelligent, just like your father. You will realize sooner or later that we are right. And you will want to follow me as I lead you to the truth. You _want_ to follow me. You see your leader in me. Without me you are _lost_."  
His eyes. They invaded my soul and my mind and I felt his presence within me. He'd spoken so strangely. Like every word that had come out of his mouth had been a certainty.

I watched him quietly walk away, leaving me behind. The wind had stopped and all was silent. I was now alone. When I finally snapped out of my daze, I looked for a way down.

I can barely find the words to describe my feelings as I searched for my friends. I felt abused. It was as though my mind had been _raped_. As though it had been invaded against my will and all its secrets had been exposed. Amon hadn't hurt me, but what I felt was worse than any physical violence he could have inflicted upon me.

_And yet beneath it all, I felt the pressing need to be in his presence again._

When Korra asked me if I was alright, I lied and told her Amon hadn't even touched me. I didn't want to trouble my friends with problems they were powerless to solve. Amon had crossed the threshold of my mind. From that day on he was with me day and night, existing within all my thoughts. And there was no escaping him now.


	13. Rain

[POV: Lieutenant]

He'd vanished. After a meeting with Hiroshi Sato around three o'clock, my leader had gone into retreat. I looked everywhere for him, asking around to see if anyone knew where he was. I couldn't find him. Then a brother mentioned the rooftop, finally putting an end to my search. "He's been up there for hours," he said, "I don't know what he's doing." I thanked him and headed straight for the staircase that lead outside.

I saw him standing in the rain. Amon was contemplating the city, as though he were seeing it for the first time. Or as though he knew its most intricate details. His hood was down and I couldn't see the strap of his mask. His clothes were drenched, water drops slowly falling off his tunic and armour like they had all the time in the world. I stared at the back of his naked head, not yet ready to speak.

"So you've found me, Lieutenant," he said, breaking the steady sequence of the rain.  
I stepped forward.  
"You disappeared. I was wondering where you'd gone," I replied.  
"Forgive me. I needed some time alone."  
He looked up at the sky and then wiped his face with both his hands.  
"I spoke with Hiroshi Sato today," he said. "Amongst other things, he updated me on the latest rumours that are currently circulating throughout the city. In particular, the rumours about me. All ridiculous, shameless slander. But one of them captured my special attention."  
"Tell me."  
"Some people - obviously anti-equalists - have come up with a new theory about me. According to them, I am secretly a bender."  
"Nothing new about that." I said, "It's something we've heard before."  
"Let me finish. According to these people, I am not only a hypocrite, but also a _liar_. My painful past is a complete fabrication, used for the sole purpose of gaining sympathy. And my scars are nothing more than a second-rate paint job that needs only a little water to be erased." He chuckled. "Imagine that."  
I felt the vein on the side of my head throbbing with anger.  
"How dare they? How dare they say such things about you?" I said, not finding any humour in the matter.  
"I am not offended, Lieutenant, and neither should you. Such a ludicrous rumour only reveals how desperate they've grown."  
"But for them to say that you're a fraud! It is too much to take."  
"As the leader of a revolution, I am to expect calumny and must not feel insulted by it. No, what truly saddens me in this whole affair is that I am being denied recognition of my suffering. There is nothing worse in this world. Imagine falling off this building and surviving the crash. You lie on the street for days with your bones broken, waiting. Then, by some miracle, you recover and you walk away. You tell people what happened to you, but nobody believes you. They pat you on the back and say it never happened. But the suffering was real, you know it, you've felt it. You've lived with it for so long and it once made you its _slave_. But nobody believes it. You are like a madman to them, and perhaps even to yourself. That is what it feels like to be denied your suffering, Lieutenant."  
"Is... Is that why you're here, Amon?"  
"No."  
"Then..."  
"I am here because I wanted to put their theory to the test. What if they were right? I hoped that perhaps my life as I know it had been only a nightmare, that it never really happened at all. I let the rain lick my face, so that it might cleanse the scars some people think are only paint."  
He turned around.  
"But as you can see, nothing's changed."  
His scars. I'd seen them before, but each time had felt like an violation of his privacy. They reached out diagonally across his face, stopping deep into his hairline. Part of his teeth were showing, revealing the normally hidden existence of the skeleton lying underneath the human flesh...  
I immediately looked down, without bowing my head. No, I couldn't keep staring at him. I had no right to analyze his mutilated face. No right to see it again.  
"How selfish and weak of me, was it not, Lieutenant? To hope that it had all been a dream and that I'd grown up a different man," he said.  
I risked a glance and saw Amon picking up his mask, which he'd left at his feet. He put it back on and pulled the hood over his head. Then he walked towards me and put his hand on my shoulder.  
"No matter. Come, old friend. I think it is time we went back inside. Now you're soaked, too."  
I hadn't even noticed. I raised my hands and gawked at my wet gloves. I felt a shiver go down my spine. But I didn't budge. An old question had insinuated itself back into my head. A question I'd always wanted to ask him. A question that had finally found the appropriate moment to be submitted.  
"Sir," I said. "As you know, certain water benders are capable of healing. Suppose there was a bender who could heal your scars? Suppose it were possible. Would you do it?"  
He removed his hand and looked me straight in the eyes.  
"Never," he said. "The scars helped shape the man I am today. This is who I am, and I've accepted it a long time ago. As I said, it was weak and selfish of me to let myself drift into fantasies about my past being a dream. I am not perfect, Lieutenant. The spirits know it. But I only hope they let me die with my scars."  
My leader walked passed me and went back inside. I stood there in the rain for a little while longer, his last sentence still echoing through my mind, but finding myself unable to understand the meaning of it.


	14. Conversion

[POV: Amon]

I saw that creature in the mirror again. It stared back at me with its black orbs, the fire inside peering through the cracks of its unstable, shifting skin. I touched my face. Was it already too late? By then I'd understood the true nature of what was happening to me. It was no punishment, no illusion, for I had been warned. The spirits would do as they pleased with me. In my haste, I had allowed them. Not knowing how far they would go, I had allowed them. I had foolishly thought that I would please them with my own forces. But now I knew that their faith in me as a mortal was declining. That I would belong to them forever if I didn't complete my mission soon. Now I knew what they believed I had to become in order to carry on their will. And it _terrified_ me.

A cry echoed through the corridors, outside my room. I turned away to listen. "Let me see him! Just let me see him!", a voice pleaded. Silence. My men had it all under control. I glanced back at the mirror and saw my scars. The creature was gone, but it was clear that my time was running out.

Someone knocked on the door. It was the Lieutenant. I put my mask back on and gave him my permission to come in. I watched him walk towards me, his posture betraying a rather unusual state of agitation.  
"Amon, please excuse me for interrupting you while you are resting, but there's something I think you should know. Today one of our brothers was followed by a man who, I am told, has been trying to meet you in person for about six weeks now."  
"An all-too-fervent admirer?" I asked, not quite meaning to sound as though I was not taking him seriously.  
"Not exactly sir. You see, he's a bender. A fire bender. He's made several attempts to reach you after our rallies, but our people have always stopped him before he could get anywhere near you."  
"I see, yes. A political assassin." I asked, unfazed by the possibility of there having been an attempt against my life. It was to be expected.  
"No sir, nothing like that. Or at least, I don't think so. I can't be sure, but my instincts tell me this man isn't lying. That he's telling the _truth_."  
"What truth, Lieutenant?"  
"He says he wants you to remove his bending, Amon."

His words sent a shiver down my spine. That a bender should ask to be equalized. It was tremendous. Had our propaganda already been so effective as to convince the enemy? Perhaps it wasn't too late, after all. Perhaps there was still time for me to prove myself to the spirits.  
"Do you know what it would mean, Lieutenant?" I asked, my voice almost breaking.  
"Yes. This would be a historical day for the Equalists."  
"Our first volunteer."  
"Indeed."  
"But you have your doubts."  
"I do, yes. Like everyone else. Our brothers and sisters outside think he is planning to kill you. That it's all a ploy to get near you so he can strangle you with his bare hands. He seems rather hysterical, you see."  
"Yet you think otherwise, don't you, old friend?"  
"I believe that you should see him, sir. Because if what he says is true..."  
"We're one step closer to winning this war," I said, completing his sentence.  
"Yes."  
"Bring him to me."  
The Lieutenant nodded and exited the room. When he came back inside, he thrust the prisoner towards me. The bender's hands were bound and he seemed devoid of any signs of aggression. His long black hair hid part of his face, which was covered in sweat. His clothes were dirty and ragged. I instantly despised everything about his all-too-familiar appearance. It was like Tao had come back to haunt me. Only instead of insulting me for what I'd done to him, this man threw himself at my feet and _begged_.  
"Oh, my leader, please have mercy."  
He looked up at me, his eyes wild and wet and salvia running down the corner of his mouth.  
"Untie him," I ordered the Lieutenant, who quickly proceeded to cut the rope with the knife he hid in his left boot.  
Once he was free, the firebender immediately clung onto me, his trembling hands desperately pulling on the cloth of my tunic. I felt the Lieutenant move as though he wanted to intervene, but I held out my hand to urge him to stop. He nodded and lit his kali sticks instead.  
"I have waited so long for this day. I have waited so long to meet you, and now, oh now, now I am in your presence. What an honour this is. What joy you bring me today, my leader," the stranger said.  
 _A bender calling me his leader._  
"What is your name, bender?" I asked.  
"I am Cheng, my leader. Cheng the disgraced."  
"And what is it that you want from me, Cheng?"  
"I want you to - no, I _need_ you to take my bending away. I beg of you. It has brought me nothing but misfortune and shame. I have hurt all the people I loved and found that I cannot correct myself. I've been attending your rallies, my leader, your powerful rallies. You've made me realize the source of my disgrace. My bending is an impurity and it has turned me into something I never wanted to become. So many times have I wanted to get up in the middle of your speech and ask of you to equalize me, but I was afraid, afraid my brothers and sisters would take me for an intruder and decide to kill me right then and there. I tried again and again to get to you backstage, to reach you, but I _couldn't_."  
He buried his face in my clothes and clung onto me with even more ferocity.  
"I am here now. And I beg of you, equalize me now, my leader. Purify me," he said.  
I stood still, considering the pathetic creature before me. I did not want to feel so much contempt for him. He was not Tao. He was a bender who had seen the light. My duty towards him was to help him. Was it not what I wanted? Equalizing benders was an act of justice and mercy, not hatred. Initially, my ideals had stemmed from vengeance and rage, but in time they themselves had been purified. I was sure of it. After the spirits had given me their gift, my anger had vanished. I'd set aside my own feelings and embraced our principles. And now, I had the opportunity to push these beautiful principles forward.

Cheng began to sob. I kept looking down at him for a while, and then finally spoke again.  
"Are you sure of what you're asking me to do?" I said. "There will be no turning back once it is done."  
"I am, my leader. Please, rid me of my sickness."  
Hands still shaking, he let go of me and turned around. He let his head fall back, offering me his forehead. His hair moved away from it, like a curtain gently unveiling a stage. An idea was born in my mind.  
"Not so fast," I said. "I will equalize you, but on one condition."  
Cheng turned back towards me and met my eyes.  
"Anything," he declared.  
"You will let me do it at the rally tomorrow, so that the world may witness your conversion."  
He nodded, accepting without hesitation. I told him that he was free to go, and that all he needed to do was to show up the next day at the rally. He would be led onto the stage at the appropriate time. Cheng rose and left, thanking me a thousand times, and when he was gone the Lieutenant shared his concern with me.  
"Shouldn't we have locked him up for the night, Amon?"  
"No. We must make him feel as though this is his decision entirely. Do not worry about him not showing up tomorrow. I know he will. Besides, a man who changes his mind overnight is not truly converted. It would be useless to equalize him publicly by force."  
"You are right," the Lieutenant replied after carefully considering my argument. "I bow before your genious, my leader."  
"Tomorrow, the world will see that even a bender can embrace our principles. The Avatar will realize that the equation isn't as simple as she believed it to be. Who knows, one day she might even choose to give up her bending, and our final showdown might not need to happen after all. You did well to bring Cheng to me, Lieutenant."  
"Thank you, my leader," he replied, slowly retreating from my room and then closing the door behind him.

I sat down on my bed, feverish with hope. I welcomed another sleepless night, consoled by the promise of the glory the next day would bring us.


	15. An Old Vice

[POV: Lieutenant]

The venue we were going to hold our rally in had been suggested by Hiroshi Sato. It was a beautiful old theater that had just been purchased and restored by a private company, which was owned by a wealthy Equalist sympathizer. It was located downtown, on a rather busy street. The idea was that this rally was to be overt, so that all would know of Cheng's conversion. Some anti-equalists were scandalized, demanding that the event be cancelled. But it was registered as a private event, and nothing could be done about it. Furthermore, the boldness of our initiative seemed to scare off the authorities, who wisely decided not to intervene. I suppose even _they_ were curious to know what we had in store for our followers. The entire city would know, as the rally would even be broadcast on the radio.  
Amongst those who would be listening to the rally from afar that evening was Hiroshi Sato, who hadn't yet publicly admitted his support for the Equalists. He was thus unable to attend, but made all necessary arrangements to ensure Amon's comfort and security in the venue. He even sent us a butler. I was with my leader backstage when the butler walked in and introduced himself.  
"Greetings, my leader. My name is Quiang, and I will have the honour of serving you this evening," he said, his choice of words immediately revealing his allegiance.  
"Good evening," Amon replied.  
I glanced at Quiang, who had stepped out of the semi-obscurity, and noticed he was holding a platter in his hands. On it, two empty glasses and a bottle of rice whiskey. I recognized it immediately and felt a knot in my stomach. I began to sweat, dreading what he would say next.  
"Would you gentlemen care for some _whiskey_ before the rally?"  
I clenched my fists. Amon, who was staring at an old piano, had his back turned on us.  
"No thank you, Quiang. It is very kind of you to offer, but I do not drink," he said.  
The butler leaned towards me with the platter.  
"Perhaps the Lieutenant, then?"  
I bit my lip and felt its dryness. It was unbearable. But I had to control myself. I was in Amon's presence.  
"No, I'd rather follow my leader's example and decline as well. But thank you."  
"Are you certain?"  
Amon turned around, and I noticed he was wearing gloves that covered his hands entirely.  
"Yes, Lieutenant, are you quite certain? We are, after all, in a festive mood tonight. Do not abstain yourself on my account. Have a glass if you so please."  
"Should I?"  
"One glass won't hurt. Go ahead, Lieutenant."  
I was all too eager to comply. Reassured by my leader's approval, I nodded and watched Quiang pour the whiskey for me. I could already feel the taste in my mouth. My hand trembled as I reached out for the glass. I thanked Quiang and he left, closing the door behind him.  
"So you've succumbed," I heard Amon say to me as I lifted the glass up to my lips. "Tell me, Lieutenant. How have you been managing your drinking problem as of late?"  
I lowered the glass.  
"I... I've not had a single drop of alcohol in months," I lied.  
"And now you are ready to throw it all away by drinking that whiskey?"  
"Well, you said..."  
Amon sighed impatiently.  
"I was merely testing you, Lieutenant. And I am disappointed."  
"I can control it," I snapped back, knowing exactly how pathetic I sounded.  
"Someone like you should never touch alcohol again. You've avoided it all this time because you've been following my example. But not because you believed it necessary. You have no convictions of your own. You are just a _puppet_. I tell you that you can drink, and you obey, like a slave."  
I shook my head.  
"No, sir. I just thought that - "  
"Do you want to go back to the pitiful state you were in when we met for the second time, in Republic City? You'd chosen to come here and pursue a career in _drinking_ instead of following me when I first summoned you."  
"I wanted to _work_. I'd lost everything. The army had destroyed my reputation."  
 _And I hadn't heard yet heard his speeches._  
"Shut up," he ordered. "Stop speaking."  
He paced towards me. I could not see his eyes. Just two dark holes, staring into me.  
"Stop speaking, and drink, if that is what you truly want," he said, shoving me against the wall and seizing my glass. "You are free after all, are you not? Go on, destroy yourself. Open your mouth."  
Amon placed the glass between my lips and forced me to drink the whiskey. He poured the liquid down my throat, not giving me a single moment to breathe. I coughed, unable to swallow properly.  
"I cannot endure your mortal weakness," he hissed, not letting me go until he'd emptied all the alcohol into my lungs. "It offends me."

I don't know, I simply don't know why I accepted that drink. Perhaps I'd used Amon's permission as an excuse to indulge in an old vice I was still struggling with. I wanted to be as pure as my leader, but I was so far from achieving that goal. I needed to do more. I need to erase myself completely and let Amon shape me as he pleased. His punishment had felt sudden, and its violence had shocked me. But I quickly realized that I'd gotten what I'd deserved. And I thanked Amon for his generosity.

_The man wants to become a beast, and the beast sees itself in the man._


	16. Accusation

__

[POV: Amon]

The blood inside me felt like fire in my veins. The Lieutenant had retreated in shame and it was for the better. In that moment, I could have destroyed him with my own hands. I could not bear to see him that way. Looking up to me and obeying me as though I were a _god_. He made me feel like I had assumed the role of the spirits who had damned me. He was like a living reminder of my own mistakes. Oh, and his weakness. His weakness was like _my_ weakness, the very end of me.

I hoped that I could quiet down before the beginning of the rally. I sat on the floor and began to meditate, but was soon interrupted by one of my men, who came to tell me that they had caught a spy.  
"She infiltrated the theater and got under the stage, in an attempt to get to you. My leader, it is Hiroshi Sato's daughter."  
I felt a pinprick in my chest.  
"Go on," I said.  
"At first we thought her bender friends might be nearby, but we checked and it appears she has come alone. So we naturally assumed that she was sent here by them as a spy."  
"Unlikely. Bring her to me. I will deal with her myself."  
"Very well."  
He turned around and called out for his teammates, who escorted Asami into the room. I rose to my feet and turned to greet her. Her face was flushed and she had a spark of anger in her eyes.  
"Let me go, I can walk by myself," she roared, struggling to free herself from their grasp. Her rage inexplicably soothed mine. I instructed my men to leave us and despite their concern, they complied.  
"Well, this is a surprise," I declared in an arrogant tone I could not account for. "Have you switched sides already? I find myself _baffled_ at your presence here."  
 _Why such venom on my tongue?_  
Asami looked up at me and curled her fists.  
"Why are you here, Asami?" I asked.  
"I… I don't know. I… You need to make it _stop_."  
"Stop? Stop what?"  
"Look, I don't know what you are or how you are doing this to me, but you better put an end to it. Ever since our encounter on that rooftop… I haven't been able to think properly. You insinuate yourself into every single one of my thoughts, you're always there. I close my eyes and I see you. I hear your voice in my head, in the wind, in the walls, in my _pillow_ , everywhere, just _everywhere_. I think, I think, I think I'm losing my mind. You won't convince me like that. Terror is not going to work with me, so you might as well stop."  
She seemed out of breath and lock of hair covered her eye. I stepped forward and pushed it away. She pulled back, insulted and wild with fury. Her gaze momentarily reminded me of Tao's gaze, and I felt a knot in my stomach.  
"I most confess that I am absolutely stunned by what you are saying," I said, though I knew exactly what I had done to her. I was, however, surprised at the intensity of the results. "While I am flattered — I repeat — _flattered_ that you would, essentially, be thinking of me, you cannot truly believe that I am to blame for the thoughts that run through your own head. So these accusations you place against me are absurd and, frankly, concerning."  
"How dare you insinuate that I am crazy? How dare you?" she snapped back.  
"I am not insinuating anything. But you cannot deny that your claims are ludicrous. No, perhaps what really happened here is that the light of truth has started to shine for you. You're beginning to understand that the Equalists are right and that you, child, are _wrong_."  
How good I was at deceit. How skilled I was at concealing the webs I spun. This was all my doing. But instead of wanting to terminate it, I wanted to pursue my perverse masterpiece.  
"You came all the way here to tell me this, Asami? To place the blame on me for your own thoughts?"  
"I don't know," she replied, lowering her head and covering her face with her hands for a few seconds. "I just… I needed to see you again. I… This was a mistake. I am so embarrassed. Please, just let me leave now. _Please_."  
"You think you can trespass on our territory and seek me out whenever you wish? Think again. I know I said I would not hurt you, but do not push your luck."  
I drew closer to her and placed my hand around her neck. Her scent elated me.  
"What… what are you going to do to me?"  
I stroked her lip with my thumb and smeared her lipstick.  
"Well, I could — "  
The image of the monster appeared in my head, warning me. What was I thinking? My belief in our cause was all I had left. I had made a vow. My existence would be devoted entirely to the Revolution. There would be no place for earthly passions. I would be pure, unblemished, chaste. I would give up all of life's pleasures and embrace the pain and suffering my mission required of me. It was the promise I had made to myself.  
"No. No, you are a distraction," I said, disobeying the base impulses of my flesh, "And I cannot afford any distractions. So I will once again be merciful towards you, as you are a non-bender. But I never want to see you again unless you've decided to join us. You have nothing to do in my presence otherwise. And if you disobey, we might have to lock you up to keep you out of the way."

I contemplated her as she just stood before me in her confusion. The poor creature whose mind I had invaded. _Could I?_ Could I dare to do it again? I knew that once was enough. In time, it would probably have the intended effect. And Tao had warned me. The human mind is fragile, too fragile to be trifled with. You have not completely mastered the art of hypnosis. You have little control over it. Never enter the same mind twice.  
"Go to hell, Amon."  
"Not yet," I replied, pushing her hair back again and placing my thumb on her forehead, then seizing control of her gaze. I could see the yellow glow of my irises on the glassy surface of her eyeballs.  
"You will now go and take a seat in the audience. You will watch the rally, Asami. You will listen to every single word that I will say," I said, entering her mind, "and never take your eyes off me while I am on the stage. Remember: _in me, you see your leader. Without me, you are lost._ Now get out of my sight."

If I could not possess her physically, I would possess her _spiritually_. I truly wanted to convert her, but it flattered my ego that I could have such power over her. I was aroused by the idea of making her obsessed with me as her leader. I wanted to flood her mind with me, as though I were the rains and she were the earth. What arrogance. What human conceit. The consequences of my actions mattered very little to me then. It was an all too thrilling game to give up.  
Oh, but like the Lieutenant, I was soon going to reap the putrid harvest of what I was sowing.

_Her mind was so beautiful._


	17. Hysteria

[POV: Asami]

I found myself sitting in the audience, with no recollection of how I had gotten there or why. I closed my eyes and tried to remember what had just happened. My mind could only summon up the faint memory of having been lead through a red corridor by an Equalist calling me his sister. I had a knot in my stomach, like I knew that I had been wronged. Like I knew that a crime had been committed against me, yet I could not even understand what it was. There was only one certainty, inexplainable, illogical, terrifying: I _wanted_ to be there.

I stood up when the Equalists rose to greet their leader. They had filled the theater, swarmed the streets around it. Amidst the applause, my eyes searched for him. A voice echoed through the venue: "Please welcome your leader, your saviour..."

The curtain was pulled and the mindless euphoria of the crowd began ringing in my ears.

"Amon."

It was a like a virus, it was airborne, it was contagious. I instantly felt it in me when I saw Amon standing there in the middle, his body perfectly still and his arms behind his back. He seemed otherworldly; a proud, mystic figure that had descended into the mortal realm. I could not understand why I felt so elated by the sight of him. Right then I was no different from his followers, who were slowly drifting into _hysteria_.

He spoke.

"Our cause, that which we are fighting for, is truth itself. Yet this city has spat us in the face. It has shown us contempt for our courage and our will. It has compared us to _criminals_ for daring to defend ourselves against the tyranny of benders. The truth has been trampled, beaten, ostracized. The truth has been buried like a shameful corpse, left to rot under the dirt of denial. But truth is a light that always shines brighter than the lies, and even the most impure of our enemies cannot avoid it forever. There is no escape from truth. It waits so patiently to be recognized, as patiently as we wait for our _victory_."  
Amon held up his arm, fingers stretched out towards the sky. The lighting underneath him cast shadows that made him seem like he was standing high, high above us.  
"My brothers and sisters, tonight we show this city how brightly truth really shines. Tonight we show this city its _future_."  
He closed his hand into a fist and lifted the other arm up as well. His movements were sudden and rigid, like the ticking of a clock. And they seemed to multiply as the speech progressed.  
"The council of this city, as well as the Avatar, will not hear our grieviances. They believe that we speak only for ourselves. That we are motived solely by vengeance and jealousy. Can you hear what I say? They think that we are _jealous_ of benders, when all we ask for is _equality_."  
The crowd gave a roar of anger. It grew restless.  
"Why should we be jealous of their impurity? Of their sickness? The impertinence, the ignorance of their assumptions. They explain everything by providing primitive explanations for questions whose complexity they cannot even fathom. They do not see that we are fighting not only for ourselves, but for _them_ as well. It is the will of spirits. This world must be equalized. This world must be purified. But if we are wrong and our beautiful ideals do not apply to non-benders, then let our enemies struggle to explain with _lies_ what you are about to witness."  
Amon pointed to the side of the stage.  
"Come here, bender."

A long-haired man walked over to Amon and stood beside him. Insults and curses arose from the crowd.

"Tell me, Cheng, what has fire bending brought to your life?"  
"It... It has brought me nothing but disgrace and violence. I have used it only to persecute and intimidate... I have used it to _kill_."  
"Who have you killed?"  
"My family, my...my own blood. Bending has made a monster of me. It has given me an insatiable thirst for power. It has made me _mad_."  
"And what have you come to ask of me today, bender?"  
The bender sank to his knees before Amon and bowed his head.  
"Free me from this sickness, my leader."  
There was a collective gasp. Such words, uttered by a bender. _My leader_.  
"Only _you_ can release me. Only _you_ can take away my impurity. Bending is my impurity. I know it now. And I beg of you to equalize me," Cheng continued.  
"The light of truth, shining," Amon declared.  
The entire crowd stirred, ready to witness the miracle.  
"Bend, Cheng. Show them the ugliness of your disease, so that none may question its existence."  
"My master, forgive me," Cheng replied.  
He then sent a column of flames into the air from his mouth.

I felt the heat of the fire on my face. It was full of spite and ferocity, as if the bending itself objected to being removed. "The evil in him is such, that it even flows out of his _throat_ ," Amon said, placing himself behind Cheng. Then, he grabbed the back of his neck with his left hand, put his right thumb on his forehead and promptly rid him of his bending.

The crowd screamed with joy. A long, high-pitched note that never seemed to end.

Cheng fell unconscious and lay there at his leader's feet, his face pressed against the wooden floor of the stage. Further away on the left, I saw Amon's Lieutenant, sobbing, _sobbing_ like the exalted fanatic that we was. It all felt so unreal, like the theater was just presenting another play. But it was not fiction. It was _reality_.

My eyes were soon drawn back to Amon, who had stretched out both his arms into the air. I suddenly longed to go to him; I felt the absurd need to feel his hand on my neck again.  
"Benders of Republic City, benders of the _world_ , it is time for you to wake up from your sleep. It is time for you to open your eyes and to follow Cheng's example. Let the light of truth shine upon you. Accept me as your liberator as I have accepted the spirits as my masters. Your bending has brought only pain and war to this world, and you must let go of this evil or suffer the consequences of your selfishness."

The Lieutenant had pulled himself together and was now escorting Cheng away while Amon took in the applause.  
"Kill him!" a man in the crowd suddenly cried. _"Kill the bender!"_  
Amon seemed briefly disturbed. He lowered his arms and urged the Lieutenant to hurry. Then, he left without adding a single word and the curtain fell behind him. The cheering continued until long after the rally had ended.

I felt sickened by what I'd seen. What Amon had done to his followers. He could spread his lies and his hatred into the hearts of others so efficiently, that there seemed to be no limit to his influence. He even possessed the power of making benders hate _themselves_. He revolted me. He really was a monster, and he disgusted me.

But why was it, then, that I felt so _empty_ once he was gone?


	18. Avatar

[POV: Lieutenant]

The rally had renewed my hope for an impending victory over our enemies. Witnessing Cheng's conversion had been like a revelation, even greater than that of Amon's ability to equalize. The world had seen the light of truth, and it was now a matter of time until _all_ benders asked to be cleansed of their impurity. There was no excuse anymore. No claim to ignorance or doubt. Everything was clear, out in the open. A bender had embraced our ideals. A bender had _understood_.

I was thus surprised to see that Amon did not appear to share my elation and that of our brothers and sisters. Right after the rally, when we got back to our headquarters, he'd immediately locked himself in his quarters and refused to see anyone. He did not say a word the next day when he finally came out for breakfast. He sat down next to me at the table and removed his mask. There were three other Equalists in the room, none of which dared to look at their leader's scars. They all stared at the food in their plates, careful never to lift their eyes up. I would have avoided looking at Amon as well, if only I hadn't noticed the way he was eating. He was shoving the food in his mouth like a machine, barely taking the time to chew before he swallowed it. I'd abstained from addressing him, for it was clear to me that he did not yet care to speak to anyone. I felt uncomfortable about the silence, so I went to turn on the radio.

The Avatar's voice suddenly filled the room.

"...of Republic City, I have decided to... address you this morning because of what happened yesterday at Amon's rally. As your Avatar, I am here to maintain, to maintain balance in this world. And balance cannot be... maintained if people fall prey to the manipulation of a skilled orator, a false saviour who tries to manipulate them with lies."

The Avatar certainly was no orator, no matter how many of her advisors' words she tried to glue together into a coherent speech.

"In me live all the past Avatars and it is my duty to carry on their mission. Do not listen to Amon. There is no oppression, no 'burying' of the truth. Non-benders are not criminals, but anyone who disturbs this city's peace certainly is. There is no jealousy between benders and non-benders. We have all lived together in harmony for all this time, and there is no reason why we coudn't keep on doing so. Amon must be stopped. I urge you, benders and non-benders, to help me put an end to his revolution. Nothing good will come of it. As of today, the council and I, as well as the police, have decided to issue a warrant for the arrest of the Equalist leader known as Amon. But if you, Amon, wish to settle the score with me personally, you are welcome to make a statement and name the day. I am ready for you. Let's have our final showdown."

As the distant clamor of the question period began on the radio, I watched Amon _laugh_. The part of his teeth that was visible made his grin appear grotesque, utterly exaggerate. He put his hands over his face and kept on laughing, a snickering skeleton cursing the Avatar and damning the world.

"Foolish, foolish girl. She does not understand, she cannot see. _I_ am not the enemy. This is not a war between protagonist and antagonist. I am nothing next to the Revolution itself, nothing next to _them_. She does not know what she is up against."  
"Are you... Are you going to respond to her, sir?" I asked, finally daring to speak.  
"No. No, I have nothing to say to that child. I have already granted her an audience, at her request. I told her that I would save her for last. Why should I have equalized her from the beginning and turned her into a martyr? And do you not think that the past Avatars would have soon restored her bending? No, Lieutenant, I will not respond to any of her provocations. I have no time for her. The Avatar has so much to learn. Let her, for example, become more in touch with her spiritual side, for she lacks greatly in that area. She is so arrogant, she believes that she can defeat me when I have a stronger link to the spirit world than _she_ does, at present."  
"But why save her for last? And why equalize her if you think her bending will ultimately be restored?"  
Amon put his mask back on, as though he'd just realized his face was exposed.  
"Because my goal is to come to a point where her _own people_ ask for her to be equalized. When the benders of this world deliver their Avatar to me with their own hands, _then_ I will equalize her."

 


	19. Obscured

[POV: Amon]

The shadows within me stirred as I contemplated myself during meditation. It was like a hand had reached into a dirt-filled pond and instigated a movement that had obscured the waters completely. I could no longer see. No longer tell where I began and where I ended. If I was part of the universe of if the universe was a part of me. _What_ was I? _Amon_. A being, floating in-between. _Amon_. A mortal, slowly dissolving into _immortality_.

It had been a week since Cheng's public conversion. My Lieutenant's determination had grown so strong that it now put mine to shame. Why could I not feel as confident as he did? Why was I so restless, so apprehensive? _Kill the bender_. Why was there so much fear in my heart?

_Why?_

I snapped out of meditation when the sound of my men calling out for me at the door finally reached my consciousness. I did not know how long they had been there, or how long I had been in my room. Meditation was the closest thing to sleep that I had left, and so I had taken up the habit of meditating as often as I could, for as long as I could. The more I neglected my body, the more my spiritual side became dominant.

I was informed that somebody had found our headquarters. One of the owners of the theater we had held our last rally in had mistakenly given valuable information to this person, for the simple motive of her relationship to Hiroshi Sato. She was his _daughter_.

"Miss Sato is right outside. She pounded and pounded on the back door of the building, insisting that we let her in. She told us who she was and who had led her there, but we didn't respond. We know that she is a collaborator of the Avatar and her friends."  
"Indeed, you did the right thing. What is she doing now?"  
"Well, my leader," the Equalist who had not yet spoken said, "The Lieutenant refused to see us and we didn't want to interrupt you while you were meditating, so we waited for her to leave. We expected her to leave. But she's still there. Something's not right. Her behaviour seems completely erratic. She fell asleep by the door."  
I frowned under my mask.  
"She fell asleep? And you _left_ her there?" I asked, my voice expressing concern far better than my hidden face.  
"What were we to do? In the end, we decided to interrupt you. She cannot stay there. She will draw unwanted attention to this building."  
 _In me, you see your leader. Without me, you are lost._  
"Very well," I said, walking passed them, "I will handle the matter myself."

Asami was sitting against the wall, nor far from the door. Her head was inclined and unruly locks of hair covered part of her face. Her arms lay inanimately by her sides and there was a puddle near her right hand. The tips for her fingers touched the dirty water as she quietly breathed in and out, sleeping.

"So you have come to visit me, Morning Beauty," I whispered.

I cannot deny the pity that I felt when I saw her in such a pathetic, exhausted state. Part of me felt guilty for what I had inflicted upon her. The violation of her mind. I'd never done to anyone else what I had done to her. Yet part of me was intrigued, excited. I wanted to see if it had _worked_. If I had turned her into an Equalist. If her mind belonged to me now. She was my experiment, the victim of my repressed desire and recklessness.

Gently placing a hand under the back of her neck, I picked her up in my arms. I took in her scent, battling the passions of my body, my mortal body which seemed to have suddenly lost all its strength. My knees seemed to tremble as I walked back inside the building with her, escorted by my men.

On my way through the corridor, I encountered the Lieutenant. He glared at Asami, offended by her presence.  
"Where were you, Lieutenant? My men could have used your council," I said.  
"I was training," he replied. "What is she doing here?"  
"Miss Sato is going to stay with us for a while."  
"What do you mean?"  
"She has left her friends and appears to be in distress. I think the least we could do is to offer her shelter. That way, she will see that we Equalists look out for one another."  
"She isn't one of us," he retorted.  
"She's a non-bender. Purity from birth."  
The Lieutenant looked like he was about to say something, but he held his tongue. New ideas had started to form in his mind. Dangerous derivations that were his own.  
"We cannot let her go now, Lieutenant. She knows where our headquarters are, which puts us at a disadvantage," I added.  
"So she's our prisoner?"  
"She must be. At any rate, I will ensure that she makes this her choice. A more efficient approach than forcing her to stay, I believe."  
"I see. Yes. Perhaps you are right."  
Perhaps. _Perhaps_?  
"I promised her father I would bring her back to him. Body and mind."  
The Lieutenant nodded.  
"You did. So where are you taking her? I don't think we have a room for her. At least, not one that's ready to be used tonight."  
"She'll sleep in my bed."  
"Pardon me?"  
"Yes, Lieutenant. My bed. I don't use it anymore, do I? I'll leave her there and rest in the meeting room. I wish to pursue my mediation. Tomorrow I shall have some of our brothers and sisters clear out a place for her."  
"Very well, my leader," he said, retreating with an air of defiance I did not like.

When I got to my room, I left Asami on my naked mattress and promptly left. I payed my old friend a visit, to punish him for what I had seen in his eyes.

The Lieutenant thanked me for the blood running down his chin and the bruises I left all over his body, but I could not tell if he thanked me out of regret for his own actions, or because he thought that with each beating, he was, like me, growing ever more indifferent to pain.


	20. Choices

[POV: Amon]

Early the next morning, I went back to my room to be near Asami when she woke up. I wanted to find out what state her mind was in. Questions needed to be answered and assumptions needed to be checked. The night before, I had informed Hiroshi of the situation, but he had refused to see her. Not unless he knew for sure that his daughter was no longer a traitor.

She was still sleeping when I arrived, so I sat on the floor in the lotus pose and shut my eyes. I did not enter the state of meditation, for I feared it would be to deep for me to notice her once she'd woken up. I simply tried to quiet down and to listen to myself breathing, but instead I heard a voice in my head, speaking to me.

_"Hidden One. You chose to fight evil with evil. You knew that my powers were dark, but you wanted me to teach them to you anyway."_

What was this serpent doing, slithering across from its realm? Why was he tormenting me? Why could I not cast him out of my mind?

 _"You were attracted by this darkness. You are filled with it now. They've fed you with it. And you are vomiting it onto the world."_  
Damn you, Tao. You foul, demented old man.  
"We laid a trap and you fell right into it. You asked no questions."  
I will do anything to serve my cause.  
"Yes, anything. Anything to serve your thirst for vengeance."  
I no longer seek it. I have been enlightened.  
"Yes, but it's too late. You are as damned as I am, Amon. You took my bending, and I will take your peace."  
I have no peace left for you to take away from me.

I opened my eyes. My heart was racing. I felt the veins in my temples throbbing and my mouth was dry. I instinctively took off my gloves and stared at my hands. Human flesh. There was still time for me to finish as a man what I had _started_ as a man.

Noticing movement on the bed, I lifted my head and saw Asami sitting up and looking around in utter confusion. When her eyes met mine, she immediately recoiled in horror.

"Where... Where am I?" she asked, her voice full of apprehension.  
"In my bed," I replied, rising to my feet.  
 _"What?"_  
"Do not worry, I have not slept in it for weeks. It was all yours for the night. We found you on our doorstep. Congratulations, you've made a mockery out of our efforts for secrecy. Now tell me why you are here. I believe I told you not to show your face to me again unless you've chosen our side."  
"I... I left. My friends think that I'm an Equalist. But I'm _not_. I never will be."  
I exhaled, realizing that I had been holding my breath.  
"So why do they believe it? Why do they think that you are their enemy?" I asked.  
"Because of _this_."  
She pulled out a piece of paper from her pocket and placed it on the bed. I picked it up and she waited in silence as I unfolded it. It was a piece of propaganda. A small poster with, on top, only the word EQUALITY. Underneath it was an illustration of me, leading the masses to victory.  
"They found this in my room," she said.  
"Are you suggesting someone _planted_ it there?"  
"No," she whispered, head down. I could barely see her face because of her hair. It struck me how tired she seemed. Like she'd stopped taking care of herself. She had no makeup on either.  
"Every time I see a poster of you, I take it."  
"Why would you do that?"  
"I don't know. Something always orders me to do it."  
 _I planted an idea in your mind._  
"And your friends turned their backs on you because of this?"  
She looked up at me in anger. She bit her lip and put her hands over her head.  
" _I stashed these everywhere in my room!_ " she shouted. "And when Mako discovered them, he asked me why I was betraying them! He didn't even bother giving me a chance to explain myself. He immediately assumed that I was a traitor. But I'm not. _He_ is the traitor. He's been lying to me. Pretending to love me. He found all the posters, oh spirits, all the posters, all of them."  
Her obsession with me was evident. I was not satisfied, however, to see that she did not revere me as her leader. It would not do.  
"So you have not seen the light," I declared. "And you are wasting my time."  
"Seen the light? What you are doing is _evil_. You have no right to take people's bending. To defy the Avatar and turn her people against her. My mother was killed by firebenders. But I don't blame an entire kind for the crimes of a few. It isn't right."  
Why was it that she so stubbornly refused our ideals? After what I had done to her, I had expected more. Much more.  
"I came here because I had to see you. And I cannot be with my friends if they have so little faith in me. They don't trust me anymore, so why should I stay with them?"  
"You are proud," I said. "You would rather stay with people you don't trust than with people who don't trust _you_."  
Asami turned away from me. We both sat on opposite sides of the bed and said nothing further. I waited, then spoke again.  
"Well, Asami, I will offer you a choice now. You are free to stay, if you so wish. I think that being around Equalists might represent a much-needed change of perspective for you. But if you don't want to stay, you are also free to leave. In which case - I must warn you - we might decide that you know too much and that it is necessary for us to capture you and lock you up. You know where our headquarters are, after all."  
"You... You say that you give me a choice, but you really don't. Either way, I can't leave."  
"I said that you are free to make your own choice. Whether you stay or go is up to you. And the actions we take to respond to your choice are up to us."

Tao hissed. He had not yet left me.  
 _"This false sense of freedom, you are tremendously familiar with it, are you not?"  
Leave me alone._

"Then I'll stay," Asami said, after a moment of reflection.  
"Very well," I replied.  
"Can I see my father?"  
"No. He said he won't see you unless you've become and Equalist. Until then, you are no longer his daughter."

The wretched voice echoed through my head as I rose and walked over to Asami.  
 _"You cannot change a person's deep-rooted beliefs through hypnosis."_  
You are a fool, Tao. I can do whatever I please. The spirits are on my side.  
"Do you want to make her your slave?"  
No, but I will be her leader.

Once I was in front of her, I lifted her chin up and looked her in the eyes. I let myself sink back into her soul and placed my thumb on her forehead once again.  
"You chose to be here, Asami. In me, you see your leader. Without me, you are _lost_."

The more she refused our Equalist ideals, the more I was determined to convert her. It had become a game and she was the prize. Every day after her arrival at our headquarters, I would play. I would invade her mind and condition her. But still she would refuse our ideals. Still she would give me arguments against them. Still she would contradict me. And slowly, so sweetly, the game began to be driven by reckless ambition and _rage_.


	21. Hues

[POV: Asami]

Amon had turned my existence into a listless daze. When he was away I would sit alone in my room for hours, staring at the walls and thinking only of him. Staring at the walls, and thinking _only_ of him. And when he visited me, I would come alive. We would talk. He would tell me of their ideals, of their battles. He would tell me stories of non-benders, struggling to survive the cruelty of benders. I would try to reason with him, argue that he could not make so many people suffer, that it was wrong. But he would tell me that suffering was necessary. That he had fully embraced it.

Then he would imprison me in his eyes and the following moments would become a total blank. I had so many holes in my memory, so many gaps, so many empty spaces I could only fill with more of _him_.

More of Amon.

He was not quite the tyrant my friends and I had imagined. I observed Amon week after week and discovered his modesty and his patience. He never complained or asked to be served. He acted as a leader, yet he would expect nor praise, nor privilege. He was not averse to physical labour, always doing his part like everyone else. The building we lived in was an old apartment complex that the Equalists had remodeled, but the heating system was a lingering problem they had not yet invested money in to solve. It broke down often, especially on the days that were the coldest. Amon would send no one to fix it. He would go to the basement at night, to repair it himself. He never slept. His mind seemed in perpetual agitation, and I was afraid to imagine what thoughts kept him awake like this.

When his soldiers made mistakes, he never screamed or used threats. He would simply ask them to better themselves for the sake of their cause. His Lieutenant he seemed to care for the most. He would always inquire about his health, his state of mind. He would make sure he never felt left out from any of his plans. There was something in his manners towards his second-in-command, something that revealed deep respect and admiration. As though he looked up to the Lieutenant.

Yet there was this paradox. The person he loved the most was also the one he punished the most brutally. He would hit him across the face and we would all have to leave the room. I would hear the strikes, the beating, but none of them spoke, as though there were an understanding between them. It terrified me that a man so calm in appearance could be so violent.

If Amon would have been despotic and completely out of control, it would have been so easy for me to leave. To go back to Air Temple Island and forgive my friends for their lack of trust. To despise our enemy as was normal. But there were so many _dimensions_ to this man, so many hues that transcended the notion of what a monster should be. The more I watched him, the more I wanted to know. He fascinated me. Yet he was poison. He destroyed me little by little, I could feel it in every fiber of my being. But I could not suppress my urge to consume him, like opium, to take him in and surrender myself entirely to him, no matter the consequences of my growing addiction. I breathed him out like smoke, and inhaled him again and again and again.

Sometimes it felt like I was going insane.  
The catatonia.  
The catatonia.

One day, long after dinner, I was still sitting at the kitchen table. Amon had encouraged me to speak to the other Equalists, but none of them seemed to want to have anything to do with me, so I was left alone. I had found some pieces of newspaper lying around and had begun to fold them into different shapes. An old hobby I had spontaneously decided to pick up again, to take my mind off the barren course it had taken. Anything but staring at the walls again.

Amon hadn't eaten with us. The Lieutenant had grumbled something about him not wanting me to see his face. Like he had become ashamed of it because of me. I did not believe it for one second.

At some point, I heard footsteps in the corridor. Moments later, my eyes met Amon's. He walked over to me, intrigued by what I was doing. My heart sank. It brimmed with fear whenever he was near me. Like I encountered an old tormentor who had hurt me too many times. I didn't know why that was.

"I see that you practice the art of Zhezhi," he said.  
"Yes," I replied. "My father paid a teacher for me when I was younger. He was an artist in need of money. I only took a few lessons, though. The man was... he had problems, and..."  
I was stung by a bitter realization and could go on no further. A foggy memory from my childhood had resurfaced and finally become clear.  
"Your father spared no expenses to make you happy, did he, Asami?"  
Why was it that whenever he spoke to me, it felt as though he were trying to _lecture_ me?  
"He gave me everything. He tried to compensate for my mother's loss by spoiling me."  
"What happened to your teacher?"  
Ah, I could no longer escape it.  
"He... He had debts he could not pay."  
"And then what? Tell me."  
"His... his debtors crushed his hands. They twisted metal around them..."  
"Benders," Amon said, exhaling.  
I began to make a flower, unwilling to respond.  
"I've always wanted to learn this," he said, to my surprise. "Zhezhi has always fascinated me. I like the idea that from something simple and ordinary, something complex and beautiful can arise."  
He was so in love with his doctrine. He could see it in everything, it dictated his view of the world. Ordinary non-benders, becoming as extraordinary as benders.  
"Traditionally, people would make inanimate objects like hats, but now there are patterns for flowers, animals..." I explained. "I can only make a few models, but if you want, I could... Do you want me to show you?"  
He hesitated.  
"Come on. It isn't hard, you know. What have you got to lose?"  
"Very well."  
I offered him a piece of paper and he began by folding it on the wrong side.  
"I see already that I am not very talent at this," he laughed.  
"Unfold it and start over," I said, smiling.  
He complied. He followed my instructions very obediently, and somehow it gave me courage to converse with him.  
"Amon?"  
"Yes?"  
"Why is it that... that you can't sleep at night?" I asked.  
"Do I fold this corner here?"  
"Yes."  
"It is a side-effect of equalizing, Asami."  
"What do you mean?"  
"I'm not like the Avatar. Entitled to her powers by birth. Mine were _entrusted_ to me. And in exchange, I have made many sacrifices. Equalizing strains the psyche."  
Pysche, psyche. What of _my_ psyche?  
"Fold it in, like this," I told him, sensing that he did not want to pursue the subject.  
We went on in silence, and then he sighed.  
"I remember when I used to do this kind of thing with the Lieutenant. I mean, not this, precisely, but... We would play chess and just talk. Exchange ideas about the Revolution. About life, philosophy. But now things have changed. He has become more like _me_."  
There was sadness in his voice. Sadness I did not expect from a man whose calling was to inspire others.  
"Like you, my friend has brought me great joy. But now, he brings me only guilt."  
I fussed with the paper, pretending to concentrate on the crane I was making.  
"There," I said, a few minutes later. "It's finished. Let me see yours."  
Amon held out his crane.  
"It's beautiful. You did well," I said.  
He stared pensively at his creation.  
"The symbol of immortality. I had a dream of a man in a crane mask once. He peered at me until I realized, it was me. I was looking at myself..."  
I didn't have time to respond. One of his men burst into the room, calling out for him. He said that he had great news, and that he needed to speak to him in private. Amon abandoned his crane and followed the Equalist out of the kitchen.

There was a line, carved in on the wooden surface of the table. It wasn't quite straight; it curved up at the end, almost like an inverted question mark. I studied it until I found the will to move again. Taking Amon's crane with me, I left the kitchen and looked for him.

On my way through the corridor, I saw him by the stairway with his soldier beside him.

"Amon?"  
"Yes, what is it?"  
"You forgot this. I thought you might want to keep it," I said, offering him the paper crane.  
He dismissed me with a gesture of the hand.  
"What would you have me do with it? Throw it away."  
"I... I just thought..."  
"Asami, I have to leave now. The Lieutenant and his personal squad have found the hideout of a group of criminal benders we have been tracking for months. They require my presence. I must equalize them."  
Leave? He wanted to _leave_ again?  
"No," I said, gripping his arm. "No, don't go. Don't leave me now."  
He had a startled look in his eyes. His glowing, yellow irises that stuck like jewels in my brain. That dug themselves into my head, into my skull, that infiltrated the darkness under my eyelids.  
"Let go of me, Asami."  
"No! Please, stay. Don't leave me."  
"I will come back, child. What is the meaning of this?"  
"I am _lost_ without you."  
The words had come out of my mouth, but somehow, it didn't feel as though they belonged to me. It was like someone else had spoken through me.  
"I said, let me go," he replied, unclenching my fingers. Pushing me. Rejecting me.  
"Please. Be careful," I pleaded.  
Amon suddenly grabbed my face. It felt so familiar.  
"What is wrong with you? What is this that I see in your eyes...? It is not fanaticism. It is something _else_."  
"I hate you," I said, crushing the paper crane in my fist.  
But he was not there to hear me, for he had already disappeared, like an incantation had summoned him away.


	22. War

[POV: Lieutenant]

" _Die_ , Equalist scum."

The bender's lips moved as he lay face down on the floor, stunned and powerless from the chi blocking attack that had neutralized him and the rest of his group. His voice was weak, but it burned with insolence. His threat. A searing whisper in the wind. A whisper that had reached my ears.

I looked down at him, at the animal that had spoken. Soon, Amon would arrive and take his bending away. But what then? This was a man who had rejected the light of truth. Once cleansed, he would be free to share his hatred of us with the world. He would have no remorse, no gratitude. He would call himself a victim, demand pity when all he deserved was the very thing he had just wished upon me.

No. No, he was unworthy of the honour of being equalized.  
The time had come for me to do _more_ than what was asked of me.

"My leader is coming," I said. "But I don't think we'll be waiting for him after all."  
His eyes widened with anger. He blinked, unable to respond. Unable to insult me as he wished. I told my men to leave the room. Once alone, I continued.  
"Did you not hear of Cheng's conversion? Were you not informed of what happened at our last rally? The entire city knows. And what did you do with this knowledge? _Nothing_. You carried on with your evil and your acts of oppression."  
I pulled out my Khali sticks and lit them up.  
"Therefore, I charge you with high treason for your transgressions against the Truth. And I have settled on a verdict for you: _Guilty_."  
Blue sparks flew in every direction, casting distorted shadows all over the room. For a moment I hesitated. I had never used my Khali sticks in this manner before. They had been a means with which I pushed back my enemies, giving them a chance to understand our motives. To understand that we were right.  
I flipped the bender over with my foot and raised the sticks far above my head. I suppressed my feelings, like Amon had thought me. I became cold, stoic, just like him. I had _decided_.  
"Your sentence," I declared, "Is death."

The Khali sticks made a wet, suctioning sound as they pierced through the bender's chest. He moaned, his body taken over by spasms as I leaned over and watched him die. I cut the current and his eyes rolled back into his head. Then, finally, he was still again. I pulled out the sticks, stumbling away.

There was no moment of reverence, no interlude of silence after his death, for I immediately charged at him _again_. I don't know why I did it. There was this fire within me. I could not hold it back. I stabbed his lifeless body again, and again, until I remembered that there were ten other benders in the room.

But I would not execute them in the same manner. The brutality of the first killing had exhausted me. I reached for the knife in my left boot and placed the benders against a wall. I declared them all guilty and gave them their sentence. Then, the judge became the executioner. I swiftly slit their throats, one by one, and turned away. It was done.

I left the room and closed the door behind me. And I was face to face with Amon.

He stared at me through the dark holes in his mask. I could not see him very clearly. There were spots of blood on one of the lenses of my goggles. I glanced down at my uniform and realized that it was also covered in blood. But I would stand my ground. I would defend my position.

"Why?" my leader asked, knowing at once what I had done.  
"I made a decision."  
"A decision? What right have you to make a decision without me?"  
"You don't realize the importance of what happened at our last rally, do you, Amon? Cheng's conversion was a _revelation_. The entire city saw, heard, witnessed it. The light of truth, shining. And all those who still oppose us have chosen to put their hands over their faces and shield themselves from the light."  
"I told you not to kill our enemies," he snapped. "It is not the way."  
"Things have changed since the rally, my leader. This city has seen its _future_. They've all had their chance. But by rejecting the light of truth after having been so privileged as to be exposed to it directly, they show their true colours. Their intentions are evil. And those who are not with us now have declared _war_ upon us."  
"Lieutenant. You are taking things too far. Perverting our principles, our ideals."  
"Everything I know, I learned from you. The conclusions I have reached are only natural. Benders no longer have the excuse of ignorance. No, now everybody _knows_. The light of truth has shone upon them."  
"Stop - stop using my words!" Amon suddenly shouted, his cry echoing through the corridor we were standing in. Our men had gathered around us, watching. They had never heard him raise his voice before.  
"Lieutenant, how dare you disobey me? You have pledged your life to me. Sworn allegiance to me as your leader," he said.  
"I have. And I will always be loyal to you. I will never betray you, my leader, even if you betray _yourself_."  
There was a pause. I waited for his reaction.  
"How dare you?" he finally said, drawing nearer.  
My heart pounded in my chest. Did he think that I had not observed a change in him? That I had not seen the weakening of his resolve? The distractions that had poisoned his mind?  
"What took you so long to come here, anyway? You were with _her_ again, weren't you? I am not blind, you know. I can see that she is corrupting your mind."  
"You know _nothing_ of my mind," he spat.  
"By all means, take her into your bed," I continued. "I know that you have sworn complete abstinence, but perhaps it would do you good to satisfy this desire you've been cultivating. Taste her, defile her, rape her, I do not care. Get it over with. But please, come back to us as you were."  
"You are a fool, Lieutenant. You simplify everything like the mortal you are, so that you may give yourself reason to put yourself above me. You do not know, you cannot even begin to understand the forces that are at play here. What I am going through, what I am _turning_ into..."  
He held back, probably refusing to say any more in the presence of our soldiers.  
"I apologize, sir, for speaking to you so boldly. But I am convinced that upon reflection, you will come to agree with my decision today. In order to win this Revolution, we must be cold-hearted. It is something you've taught me, master."  
He raised his arm, ready to punish me.  
"You may strike me if you wish," I said. "But do not be surprised if this time I respond to your violence. You, too, seem to be in dire need of the redeeming power of pain again."  
He pulled back, lowering his arm. Changing his mind.  
"Oh, it would make no difference, for pain is with me always," Amon replied. "And I cannot punish you for my own crimes."


	23. Chains

[POV: Amon]

He sat at the kitchen table, alone in the near-darkness. A dull light had slipped into the room between the steel bars of the window, painting crooked lines across his face. The Lieutenant's head was bent and his eyes, fixed upon the Khali sticks he was holding in his hands. He stared incredulously at his weapons, as though he questioned their very existence.

I did not dare to walk in. I stood in the doorway, searching for the courage to speak to him. He was aware of my presence, but did nothing about it. Like he had drifted far, far away into indifference.

"It is very late, Lieutenant," was all that I could say to break the silence.  
Not taking his eyes off the Khali sticks, the Lieutenant replied:  
"Tell me, Amon. Did you... did you ever use hypnosis on me?"  
His voice was soft and melodic, like his words had been the verses of a song.  
"No," I answered. "I never needed to."  
He closed his eyes and exhaled.  
"So I have served you well."  
"Lieutenant..."  
He rose, interrupting me.  
"You're right. It _is_ rather late. I better get some rest now, my leader."  
"Listen to me," I said. "When I told you of my illumination, I... left something out."  
"Good night," he insisted.  
Oh my mortal, human weakness. It was all it took to dissuade me. To stop me from saving him. Part of me had wanted to tell him, to let him know that what he had done that day was not his fault. That his regret was not to be supressed. I could have told him that his leader was not the pure, irreproachable man he had admired for so long. But I could not do it. I preferred to leave things as they were, for deep down I selfishly hoped the Lieutenant would help me please the spirits, whatever their true goals, so that I could one day be _free_.

I had indeed begun to suspect that they did not share my ideals. That the spirits wanted something _more_ than a world without benders. What I had done to the Lieutenant had been allowed by them. They had not stopped me. Perhaps they had even _helped_ me. The possibility that my cause had been used by them, used for their own purposes, revolted and despaired me. I could not accept such an idea, despite all my doubts. I needed to hear it from _them_.

But as I walked to my room, it was the snake from the mountain who spoke to me again.

 _"You couldn't do it, could you? He was so close to release. But you like seeing people being held captive, don't you? It makes you feel less alone."  
I should have killed you when I had the chance, Tao._  
He snickered.  
 _"But I am dead, Amon. Don't you understand? My soul belongs to them now. I wanted to become the greatest illusionist that had ever lived. What did you give them in exchange for your powers?"  
So you are in the spirit world.  
"Yes, that I am. I will never reincarnate. I am trapped here, I am their slave. And so are you."  
No. I have the chance to prove myself to them.  
"Do you not wonder how it is that you can communicate with me? That you can hear my voice in your head, slave? You are not even meditating."_  
I stopped and placed a hand on the wall of the corridor, balance eluding me.  
 _"You are bound to them. Can you not feel the chains, pulling you? Hear them, how they rattle. You are linked to the spirit world. It is as though you were half-way here and half-way there. Stretched out between two overlapping realms. You hear me, because they do. What did you give them, slave?"_  
I told them that they could do what they pleased with me. That they could mold me according to their will.  
"And you gave them your body. You will be the first of your kind."  
What do you mean? I know that I am to become like them if they see it fit. To live forever, as the terror of benders.  
"Oh, yes, but more, much more than that. You are an experiment. An abomination. Six different beings, stitched together in a body of eternal fire. But why ask me? Ask them."  
How do I find them? You say that I am in direct contact with the spirit world, yet all I hear is you.  
"You need not search for them in the spirit world. Look deep within, slave. Find them, speak to them, for a part of each of them lives in you."

The light that had flooded me in the desert. All this time, they had been with me, and I had been blind to it. Blind to the evil cradled inside me.

I stumbled towards my room, and there, I immediately sat on the floor in the lotus pose. I took off my mask and cast it aside to wipe the sweat off my face with my sleeve. I touched my mouth and felt the scars. I was still myself, but somehow it felt like my body was slowly dying. What _were_ they doing to me?

Tao spoke again, from the depths of the unearthly prison he now called his home.  
 _"They wanted me to create illusions that would bring chaos into the world. But I disobeyed. And the world rejected me anyway."_  
I shut my eyes, trying in vain to block him out.  
"I had a chance to redeem myself. A chance for revenge. When you came to the mountain, they told me. They told me to make you my apprentice. To reel you in. But here I am, despite my loyalty."  
I am not like you, Tao. They said that I could be free if I rid the world of bending on my own. I still have time. They will only transform me if they conclude that I cannot do it as a man. I can still earn death. I am so close.  
"Deceivers. You shall be their vessel."

There was a moment of silence. I felt myself drifting away in meditation, sailing towards the center of my being. Where the spirits had begun to live, like silent invaders. I would speak to them, and they would answer all my questions.

I heard Tao's voice once last time before I finally reached the shore.  
 _"Amon, what do our masters thrive on?"_

And soon, all was revealed to me.


	24. Torn Veil

[POV: Asami]

A belt, slipping around a naked throat. Then tightening so swiftly, like silk.

The thought had kept me wide awake, sitting on the edge of the bed in the growing darkness. The images looped in my head so insistently that I soon began to wonder if I had already lived them. If they were the memory of something I had actually witnessed.

But I'd been in my room all afternoon. Amon hadn't come back to see me after I'd crushed his paper crane. I'd made many other cranes. They were at my feet, lying on the floor in clusters. Clusters of cranes, clusters of immortality, clusters of his nightmare.

Amon was the poison that had dissolved my will. He was eating at the core of my soul, digging deadly tunnels in my heart. Yet my need for him grew stronger every day, every minute, every second. When he breathed in, I breathed in too. When he breathed out, so did I. I was his prisoner. Waiting for him, longing for him, like the world around me was nothing, nothing at all. This sick dependence had to be severed. I would no longer allow him to destroy me.

No, instead, I would destroy _him_.

Madness comes over you like a veil, and clouds your vision like a traitor, letting you walk straight into the precipice. It had covered me that night. And I lost myself in a black scheme.

I left the bed, got on my hands and knees. I stretched out my arm, and began to search.

Along with the room, the Equalists had given me a uniform, which they had folded and tucked underneath the bed. A gift I had rejected, and which had remained there untouched since my arrival at the headquarters.

But now, it finally interested me. I remembered that it included a _belt_.

I felt the fabric with the tip of my fingers and pulled it closer to me. I stripped the uniform of its belt, and rose to my feet.

I held it in my hands, the cold, shiny leather belt. I closed my eyes and saw it slipping around his neck. Tightening. Harder. And harder. And harder. Choking him. Ridding me of the monster.

Soon, I was in the corridor, tiptoeing towards Amon's room. I knew that he was probably meditating, for lately, he was _always_ meditating. Even his Lieutenant had made comments about it.

My pulse suddenly increased. His door was open. It seemed that fate was on my side. Yes, it would happen, I would do it. Only a few more steps, and I would finally free myself from him.

As I walked in, I saw him sitting on the floor in the lotus pose. He was turned away from me and the faint city glow that came through the window fell upon him like a spotlight from one of his rallies. With my eyes, I followed the path of his long, straightened spine, all the way up to the back of his _bare head_. And that's when I noticed.

_Amon was not wearing his mask._

They began to shake. My hands. I stepped forward very carefully, afraid that he would hear me. But he did not seem to notice my presence at all, so deep was he in his meditation.

Now, I was right behind him. Taking a deep breath, I held out the belt and passed it over his head...

But I couldn't suppress my curiosity. It stopped me, stood in the way of my resolve. I _had to see_. I had to look at his face. Find out what he'd been hiding under that sneering, wicked mask. Was he as disfigured as people thought he was? Or had he _lied_? Who was he, really? If I strangled him now, I would never have the strength to stare at his dead body. I would leave and never turn around. Never _know_. Seeking an answer to my questions, I removed the belt and placed myself in front of him.

And for the very first time, I saw him.  
I saw _Amon_.

A single glance at his scars was all it took for me to taste the extent of his suffering. How could this be a human face? His flesh was torn apart with such hatred, such contempt. Part of his teeth were exposed, he had no nose. Where was his nose? Where was his skin, the soft skin of the cheeks, the delicate curve of the lips, where, where was his face? He had no face, his face was gone, it really was _gone_ , it was missing, he was incomplete, he was not whole.

I stumbled back and sat on the ground, suffocated by violent, muted sobs. My sight was blurred by tears and I wept bitterly, my soul aching with pity for what they had done to him. With shame for what _I_ had wanted to do to him.

It was like the veil had been torn. Like I'd woken up to reality. How could I have ever thought of taking his life? I could never have done it. This was not me, this was _not me_.

That night, I swore to myself that I would never turn against him again. It didn't matter how dangerous he was. I would rather let this man destroy me a thousand times.

For how could I possibly want to hurt someone who had already known so much _pain_?


	25. Drifting Lanterns

[POV: Lieutenant]

I turned to blow the candle at my bedside. But the sight of the flame made me hold my breath. It awoke something within me. An old memory I had never revisited. It had been buried deep in my mind, forgotten for years. And now, it came alive again. Sleep would have to wait. I lay on my back with my head to the side and watched the quivering wax melt, as I slowly departed into the past.

I went back to the beginnings of the revolution. When my leader and I were still looking for skilled people to join our ranks.

We had just heard about a man who lived in a small town, near the abandoned Pohuai Stronghold, beyond the mountains of Republic City. He was a martial arts teacher who trained his students in the art of self-defence. More precisely, in the art of _chi-blocking_. Benders were not welcome at his school, for his sole objective was to give non-benders the tools that they needed in order to defend themselves in an unbalanced world. Master Guiren - that was his name - had once suffered at the hands of benders himself.

When news came to us of the existence of such a person, we believed he could be of great use to our revolution. We needed capable men and women who could teach our soldiers how to chi block. Amon and I could certainly not do all the work by ourselves.

My leader soon decided that we should make the journey to Guiren's school, so as to personally seek his adhesion to our cause. We packed very few things and left early one morning. We rode at the back of a Satomobile with some field workers who had agreed to take us as far as the edge of the valley. The rest of the trip, we made on foot.

Amon had remained silent for most of the way through the mountains. It was like a shadow had come over him. A quiet desolation I only now can understand. The peaks reminded him of the wretched days he had spent living with Tao.

Once in town, we had no trouble finding Guiren's school, which was also his home. It was large, and it stretched out on a wide, flat piece of land. At first apprehensive, the master did not wish to see us. But Amon called him our brother, and this intrigued Guiren. He changed his mind and welcomed us inside.

It took Amon only twenty minutes to obtain the man's allegiance. He spoke with such clarity, such conviction. He gave him one of his speeches, though it did not seem like one at all; it was like a conversation, a one-way dialogue in which Amon had answered all of Guiren's unspoken questions. I was reminded of that fateful night at the bar, when Amon's words had managed to pull me out of the fumes and stupor of my drunkenness.

Guiren said that he would come to Republic City as soon as he could make the journey. He had a broken ankle that still needed time to heal. He would choose his best students, and take them with him so that they could join the Revolution as well. Amon thanked him and gave him the address of the building we had just purchased, the building that was to hold our headquarters.

Then we bid him farewell, but the master was rather surprised at our plans to leave on the same day.

"Why don't you stay the night? Surely, you can afford to delay your journey a little. You must be exhausted. And besides, you don't want to miss the festivities tonight," he said.  
"The festivities?" Amon inquired.  
"Yes. It's a tradition in this town. Each year, we celebrate the fall of the Pohuai Stronghold. There's music and food, as well as lanterns and fireworks. Worth seeing at least once in a lifetime. Our town is modest, but on this special day, it wears its brightest colours."  
"I suppose we could remain here until morning. I think the Lieutenant would prefer that," Amon said, turning towards me.  
"We did walk very far," I concurred.  
"Then it is settled. You can sleep here at my house, if you wish. I have many guest rooms, for students coming from far away. There should be at least two empty ones at your disposal," Guiren said.  
"Thank you," Amon nodded.  
"And go out into town this evening. You won't regret it, I assure you," the master concluded. "I'm only sorry that I cannot accompany you. What with this broken ankle of mine, I am, sadly, homebound even today."

We left our things in the rooms Guiren had offered us, and set out into town. The master had not exaggerated. There were colours everywhere, such as I had not seen in a long time. I was used to the gloom and filth of Republic City. Bright lanterns filled the streets, and confetti floated in the air. Musicians walked through the town and played, while joyous crowds followed them in circles. Some people wore variations of the Blue Spirit mask, which had probably payed a role in the history of the Pohuai Stronghold. I almost made the remark to Amon, thinking it would make him feel at ease with wearing his own mask amongst strangers, but it occurred to me that it was a foolish thing to say. I was afraid of offending my leader.

In the town center, we stopped at a tea shop that had a terrace on the street. From there, we could admire the festivities and have something to eat and to drink. We sat down and ordered a plate of Màshu and tea, which the waitress promptly brought us. She even offered us a complimentary glass of rice liquor, but Amon declined it. I would have accepted, but I did not want to disappoint my leader.

"Guiren was right, it was worth seeing all this," I said, taking the cup of tea in my hands.  
"I agree. We never rest, do we? I mean, have diversions like this," Amon replied.  
"We have much to do."  
"Yes, but it is good to take a break now and then."  
"That's true. I guess we could say this is our first vacation."  
"Indeed it is."  
Amon was about to remove his mask, as he always did when he ate, but he changed his mind and simply lifted it a little to take a sip of his tea.  
"Everything around us is so beautiful. I don't want to spoil the atmosphere," he said, laughing.  
But I did not laugh. I could see no humor in my leader's affliction.

After a few minutes, I noticed a man who was sitting across us at the next table. He stared at Amon as he struggled to eat the Màshu with his mask on. It was too much for me to bear.  
"What are _you_ looking at?" I snapped, glaring at him. "Can I help you with anything?"  
"I ain't looked at nobody." he replied. "'Cept your friend there, he's got the wrong kind of mask on. What's he trying to hide under it, anyway? He _that_ ugly?"  
I was ready to jump him. My fists curled and my body became tense. I almost sprang out of my chair, when I felt Amon's hand on my arm.  
"Stop it, Lieutenant."  
"I won't let this man insult my leader," I replied.  
"Sit down, my friend. If you think that I can still be offended by the mockery of fools, you are greatly mistaken. I've had my share of anger, but I've let it go. Learn to let is go as well, for rage is madness. Here, have another Màshu."  
He handed me the plate, and I took one. The man at the other table had already moved on to teasing the waitress.

A little later, people had started to leave the centre of the town, to gather elsewhere. We asked the girl who served us where they were all going.  
"To the riverbank. It's time for the floating wishing-lanterns," she said. "Every year, we send them down the river. Each person makes a wish, and pushes a lantern away, on the water. You must make a wish, and it is said that if your lantern reaches the other side of the shore, where the Pohuai Stronghold once stood, it will come true. It usually just follows the stream towards the ocean. At any rate, it means good luck for it to go as far as possible. The farther it goes being lit up, the more luck you'll have in the future."  
"That is very beautiful," Amon said.  
"You should go see it. The river gets all illuminated. Like a river of light. I never get tired of it. In fact, I'll be going there as well, right after I clean a few more tables."  
The girl glanced over at me and smiled. Then she wiped her hands on her apron and left.  
"I think you've caught her eye, Lieutenant," Amon said.  
"Oh?" I chuckled.  
"Come. Shall we go see this river of light?"  
"I would love to."

The sight was indeed one worth beholding. Solitary lanterns floated off into the distance, the black horizon, and the dark water reflected the yellow flicker of the candles like a shifting mirror. For a moment I wondered if Amon was bothered by the sight of so much fire, no matter how beautiful it all looked. But my leader seemed perfectly serene. He lead the way towards the shore.

We lined up to buy our lanterns and prepared to send them onto the river. The firebender who sold them to us offered to light our candles, but I refused. In my pocket, I had some matches, which I used for both our lanterns.

A woman hummed an ancient melody as people watched the river take their lanterns. Soon, it was our turn. Staring blankly at the water, Amon seemed absorbed by his thoughts. I suggested that we send them out together, so that we may both prosper as we carried on with the Revolution. I had one wish, and one wish only: victory for the Equalists.

I closed my eyes and spoke the words. My wish was no secret to anybody. I was proud of it; I wanted it to be heard. Amon said nothing. When he was ready, we placed the lanterns on the water and quietly watched them wander off into the night.

But a gust of wind or the laugh of a spirit extinguished Amon's candle.  
His lantern stopped glowing, and it was lost in the blackness of the water.

It didn't feel right to let mine go on alone while his had already died. While it was still close enough, I dipped my hand in the river and quickly tried to kill the flame of my lantern by covering it with water.

Once again, Amon put his hand on my arm.

"Don't," he said. "Don't do this for me."  
I backed away, unsure of how to interpret his gesture. I had thought that he would admire my devotion, accept my loyalty. I felt upset, uneasy at the thought of my lantern going on without his. As though I had become leaderless. But I did not question his decision, and we returned to Guiren's house.

That was the end of my memory. Everything after that was shadows, and I returned to the present.

Oh, but now, I knew. Now I understood _everything_. This memory had not come back to me in vain. As I lied awake in bed, I finally knew what Amon had meant. I'd been doubting myself, wondering if I had taken the right course. All those men, dead. By my hand. Amon's disapproval. His accusation that I was perverting our principles.

But I was no traitor. I had made no mistake. All I had done was obey the will of my master. In stopping me from extinguishing my lantern, Amon had meant that if he ever faltered, I was to continue. That if one day, he lost the flame of the Revolution, it was for _me_ to carry it on until our victory.

No matter what happened to Amon, I had to keep the fire alive.


	26. Chaos

[POV: Amon]

Within me was a wasteland.  
An empty, scarred, desolate place.  
The very image of my soul.

I had arrived at the shore and had begun to walk across an endless field of burning coals. I felt the sting of the embers on my feet, as though the vision were real, as though my flesh were truly burning. The sky was gray and unstable, and full of stormy clouds that had gathered above the Inner Realm; the center of my being.

"Show yourselves to me," I whispered as my eyes searched the horizon. An insidious wind blew all around me, and I could barely breathe.

Then, finally, I saw the shadows. They were waiting for me. Tall, dark silhouettes, rising ominously in the distance.

Each step towards them was a torment. Like the black coals had been burning for a thousand years. There were no ashes over them to protect me from the heat, and I could not walk faster. Heavy chains weighed me down. I clenched my teeth and carried on in slow, prolonged agony. Oh spirits, spirits, how it hurt. _How it hurt to be still alive_.

They peered at me through the left eye hole of their masks. The same masks I had seen on the day of my illumination. The same masks, but cut in half. Fragmented, not yet complete. Their bodies stretched out from the ground, like black smoke released from the burning ground.

" _Ghem ta lek amahlt, Amon?_ "  
I stopped, frightened by the eerie words of their ancient tongue.  
Words I could not understand.  
"Why have you summoned us, Amon?" they repeated in the language of mortals, their five voices intertwining in an imperfect synchronicity.  
"I want answers," I replied.  
"Answers?"  
 _Tell me all. Sing me the hidden verses of my damnation._  
"What are you doing to me?"  
"What we agreed upon, mortal."  
"You said that you would let me die unaltered if I managed to complete my mission as a man. That you would change me, make me immortal and powerful only if you saw that I could not rid the world of bending on my own. That I had to find a way to cleanse it forever, and I _have_. I am changing the way people see bending; it is a curse, not a gift. All I need is a little more time. Why are you not satisfied with me?"  
Their laughter echoed in the skies and through my head, like thunder.

"Do you really think that we, eternal, magnificent beings of Shadow, care about _mortals_? That we seek their well-being? That we want them to live in a world of justice? That we care about the suffering of non-benders? Do you believe that we want to teach benders a lesson? It would imply that we seek to correct them for their own good. No, Amon, you are greatly mistaken."  
 _I had jumped blindfolded into the abyss._  
"So you have tricked me. You deceived me in order to obtain my allegiance. Why?"  
"Why? _Why_? Do you not know who we _are_?"  
They spoke slowly, stretching out every word, like beings who had centuries ahead of them to finish their sentences. Their notion of time transcended that of mortals.  
"We are the spirits of Chaos. The children of Vaatu. We are Hatred, Anger, Fear, Bloodlust and Insanity. And we revel in chaos. We desire it. We require it. We feed upon the chaos in your world. We are dark spirits living in the cursed realm of _Hàlin_."

My knees started to tremble. I stepped back.  
"After the Hundred Year War, we found ourselves starving because of the relative peace that reigned in the mortal world. Through Tao, we tried to bring chaos back into the world by making him create visions of terror. But the disbelieving mortals chased him away, made him retreat into the mountains. He remained there because he did not have the strength of conviction. He was not like you. We chose you, Amon, for the misery of your past, for your skills, for your hatred, and for your _conviction_."  
"My hatred? I have not felt hatred for benders in a long time. I have changed."  
"Yes, but before you began your Revolution, you were filled with it. Your thirst for vengeance. Do you deny it, _murderer_? You killed that firebender with such pleasure, such _rage_. We saw what we saw."  
I put my hands over my head.  
"That day was a day of madness. I never killed again. Never! I gave myself the proper punishment!" I screamed.  
 _A whip, sliding on humid skin._  
"You are right, you never repeated your sin. All that remained in you was your conviction, growing stronger and stronger, until it lead you to create your own derivations, just like your Lieutenant. We wanted you to equalize the Avatar and hurl the world into a new war. Benders against non-benders. The beginning of a new era of chaos. But your pathetic ideals lead you instead of your thirst for vengeance. You truly wanted to _help_ make your realm a better place to live. You little fool. It does not matter. Because of the work that you've done, Republic City is already on the brink of war."  
 _Kill the bender!_  
"If that is true, then what more do you want from me?" I asked.  
"Your body, Amon, your place in the mortal world. We spirits are unable to exist physically within the mortal realm without having to sacrifice our immortality in exchange for a body. We can only manifest during the Solstices, like we did on the day of your illumination. In your blindness and your hatred of benders you sold yourself to us, body and soul. Remember."  
 _Oh, I had given them everything._  
"But you said that my soul would be free if I did what you asked of me," I said, my voice breaking.  
"We lied to you. Your soul is now bound to your body, which you gave up to us. You shall never reincarnate again. Amon, you are our vessel. The sacrifice of our immortality is no longer required. We can enter your world through your body without losing our immortal nature. During your illumination, a part of each of us infiltrated you. And on the next solstice - the only moment where our worlds are close enough to allow crossing over - we shall leave our realm and enter the mortal world. We will claim your body entirely and transform it to make it immortal. No matter what you do to it, even if you cut it to pieces, or turn it to dust, it is ours and we can seal it back together with _fire_. We will kill it, in order to rebuild it. There will be no turning back. Soon, Amon, you will become the first immortal creature living in the mortal realm."  
"...But why wait for so many years? Why did you not take me over in the desert, from the very beginning?"  
"How could we have allowed your remarkable oratory skills to go to waste, Amon? You are gifted. Your leadership and strength of character were qualities that we noticed in you long before your seventh birth. Qualities that we could use to obtain the blind loyalty of many mortals. You a born leader. We knew that if someone was capable of provoking a new war, it was _you_. But above all, Amon, we required time to prepare our throne within you. To fill you with our shadows. Your humanity was an obstacle to our coexistence. You needed to lose contact with your body, so that _we_ may come to control it. Our patience has been rewarded. Look at yourself. You do not sleep, you do not care for pain except the one that exists in your mind, you meditate obsessively and forget yourself... You have grown colder than you have ever been. When we take over your body, you will offer little resistance. Our souls will forever be bound together. We shall all coexist; you, us, all in one body of eternal fire."

The coals underneath my feet seared. I could barely stand.  
"Once in your realm, we shall watch the mortals kill each other and revel in their bloodshed. We will pick up where you left and increase the fire of their hatred, for _we shall become you_ , their leader. And whoever has the misfortune of surviving this war will live forever under our reign. We shall equalize every new-born avatar of every age. We will maintain total control of the mortal world and keep it in a state of perpetual chaos. We will make sure that your realm is never again blessed with a time of peace, like it was after the Hundred Year War."  
"You vile, deceitful creatures. You used me and the Revolution. You took advantage of the suffering of non-benders. Of /imy/i suffering..."  
"Do not pretend that you are innocent, slave. You absorbed all of Tao's evil teachings on mind control and applied them to your rallies. Used them to gain new followers."  
 _They knew everything that I had done. All my faults. All my weaknesses. All my sins._  
"I... I did. But the words that came out of my mouth were my own. I stand by all that I have ever said. I convinced my followers because in me they saw the light of Truth."  
"Yes," the spirits sneered, "They were all your words. And look at what they have done to the Lieutenant. He has become a far better servant to us than you."  
"Don't you dare hurt him," I snapped.  
"We don't need to. You've done quite enough already to destroy him on your own."  
 _My hands. My own hands had torn him down._  
"You tainted my influence over him with your evil!"  
"Our evil is a part of you, because you embraced it."

The wind blew away my hood as I stared down at my feet. They were as black as the coals underneath them.  
"We have made a mistake. We thought your conviction would make you a better servant, that it would make you persevere instead of giving up like Tao, but it seems as though it has rather become a hinderance to our plans. Instead of equalizing the Avatar, you decided to wait for her own people to deliver her to you. You want everybody to agree that bending is wrong. You seek balance, Amon. And balance is the _exact opposite_ of _chaos_."  
The spirits began to withdraw into the ground. The vision was fading.  
"Your body is already dying. And on the next solstice, we will claim what is ours. _Alk tet vam_! Your time is up, Amon."

"No, not yet," I whispered, and the wasteland subsided.

* * *

When I emerged from meditation, I fell to my knees and put my hands over my ears. I crouched over until my unbearable, ridiculous, _ugly_ face was pressed against the cool floor.  
And soundlessly, I wept.  
I wept for all the lies that I had been told, for the recklessness of my decisions, for my own fate, and for all the evil I was bringing into the world.  
The vicious fire I had spread.

Oh, but I would not let the Spirits rejoice in complete victory. I would do everything in my power to lessen their satisfaction. The least I could do was repair my mistakes. The hatred I had instilled in my followers, I would remove. There would be no war. And if somehow, the world survived the atrocities that were to come, it had to emerge as a better world. I could not let the Revolution be blamed for what I had unleashed. My ideals had to be dissociated from all evil; cleansed, purified. It was the chaos created by _benders_ that had opened up the appetite of the Spirits of Chaos in the first place.

If the mortal world was to be annihilated by the dwellers of _Hàlin_ , then so be it.  
But I would fight for my cause until the very end.

A drop of balance in a burning sea of chaos.


	27. Rise

[POV: Amon]

Daylight was too fair to behold the face of a monster. When the first rays of morning had reached me, I picked up my mask and hid myself from the rising sun.

There was a fire burning in my chest. I had spent the last hours of the night in deep thought, making plans, theorizing, deciding. And now, I could no longer sit still.

I left my room and went looking for the Lieutenant. I wanted him to start planning our next rally. It would have to take place as soon as possible. Time was of the essence. He had to find us a venue, and fast.

I knocked on his door, but there was no reply. I knocked again, but evidently, he was not there. I looked in the other rooms. The kitchen, the conference room, the training room... Then I searched every corridor, I knocked on the doors of all our soldiers, I called out for him in the stairway, _I cried out his name_. But he was nowhere to be found. _Where_ was he?

A brother finally stepped forward and provided me with answers.  
"I believe he left before sunrise, sir. Very early this morning," he said.  
His hands were shaking.  
"Where has he gone?"  
"I don't know. He... he left with his special squad. Said they'd be back later on."  
 _So this is what it has come to. I am the court jester and he, the king._  
"How _dare_ he not inform me of it?" I said. "And why did you wait so long before telling me? How many of you knew?"  
I turned to look at my men, who stared back anxiously at me.  
"Only me. My room is closest to the exit. I heard some noise and then I saw them leave. The Lieutenant said not to wake you up," the young soldier said.  
" _Wake me up?_ I do not even _sleep_ anymore!" I snarled, raising my voice.  
There was a moment of silence.  
"He said it was in service of the Revolution..."  
I shook my head, and tried to calm myself down.  
"This will not do," I said, adopting a softer tone. "I shall have to speak to the Lieutenant about this. Thank you, brother. And forgive my anger. My head is full of thoughts that cause me torment. Go, and have breakfast, all of you. I will deal with this matter in due time."  
As my soldiers scattered, a sister walked over to me with a letter in her hand.  
"This just came in, my leader."  
The initials _H.S._ were written hastily on the envelope.  
"Thank you," I said, taking it in my hands and tearing it open with my finger.

_Amon,_

_We must talk. My sources have provided me with alarming information regarding one of the Councilmen. For now they are only rumours, but I fear that they are about to become reality. Meet me at the temple today, at noon. I will be waiting for you.  
_

When would Hiroshi Sato finally make public his allegiance to us? It was widely known that he was an Equalist. The Avatar and the police force had, after all, discovered the underground factory beneath his mansion. They had not, however, accused him formally, nor had they arrested him. They had been unable to prove that what he had built was indeed to be used by the Equalists. For example, the gloves, Sato had argued, were offered to any non-bender wanting a means of self-defense against a bender assailant. Whether or not the Equalists made use of them in their Revolution was none of his concern. He simply sold his weapons to the highest bidder and could not verify the background of every single one of his buyers. Furthermore, Hiroshi Sato benefited from a certain form of immunity, as he was an invaluable asset to Republic City. Future Industries was at the core of its economy. Putting such an important and powerful man through a trial without sufficient evidence was a risky endeavor. No, until Hiroshi Sato himself declared that he was one of us and that the weapons he built were designed for the Equalists, nobody dared to touch him. I understood his motives for secrecy, but it seemed to me as though there was _cowardice_ in his actions. He was a brilliant man; a visionary. Someone I deeply respected. His material assistance to us was crucial. He had built so many marvels, so many great inventions that had helped us push forward both our Revolution and our era. And yet, somehow I wanted _more_ from him. I wanted his full dedication. I wanted him to be like the Lieutenant.

I destroyed the letter and headed for the conference room. There was a calender there that I needed to consult. The winter solstice was on my mind.

But as I walked through the corridor, the world around me grew blurry, and a weakness crept into my legs. It was only momentary, but enough to make me lose my balance. I leaned against the wall, waiting for the fog to pass.  
 _Your body is already dying._  
That was when she came to me.  
She emerged from the mist, like an ancient deity surfacing from the depths of the past.  
"Amon?"  
Her voice sent a shiver down my spine.  
 _Say it again. Say my name once again._  
"Are you alright?"  
"Yes."  
Her dark hair, flowing along the outline of her white neck.  
"What is happening to you?"  
 _I am fading, child._  
"Nothing, I am tired."  
"Will you come see me today?" she asked, reaching out to touch me, but not daring to.  
She craved my abuse, yet instinctively feared me. Oh, I had broken her as well. Her mind was tainted and her judgment skewed.  
"No. No, I won't. Not today, not tomorrow," I replied. "I won't visit you anymore, Asami."  
"Why? Have you... lost hope in converting me? Perhaps if you told me more..."  
"I have done quite enough. I would beg for your forgiveness, but it would be in vain. For I will repeat my transgressions against you as soon as you are near me again. From now on, you must stay away from me. I am poison, Asami. You may leave if you want. Or stay. It does not matter anymore."  
She frowned, her emerald eyes glaring at me.  
"I won't leave. I refuse to leave."  
"As you wish," I replied, walking passed her.  
I could never tell her what I had done to her. How I had wronged her. No, I couldn't. I simply _couldn't_. Her hatred I could not bear. And if I tried to undo it all through hypnosis, I could drive her to insanity. The fragility of the human mind. It could never withstand such a contradiction. It could barely withstand the damage I had already inflicted. The severity of which was unknown even to me.

* * *

I wore a long, black cloak with a deep hood for my meeting with Hiroshi Sato. I had to be more cautious than usual, for I could not afford an arrest. It would delay me in all that I had to do. The date I had seen on the calendar was now etched in my brain, a vivid memory of a black number that would seal my fate. On december 21st, exactly three months from then, I would no longer be the master of my own body. I would become a vessel of chaos, and my time would be up.

The temple we met in was a red pagoda of modest size. It was old and forgotten, but its archaic beauty and quiet resilience commanded respect. The small temple was generally empty and the monk in charge was an Equalist sympathizer, which made it the ideal place for Hiroshi and I to meet in private. Praying in a sacred building was an alibi he seemed to prefer above others.

I was the first to arrive. The monk greeted me and put a hand on my shoulder. He was blind, and had been so for many decades. He, too, had tasted the cruelty of firebenders.  
Recognizing my chi, he immediately let me in.

The air was filled with the sweet aroma of burning incense. I purchased three sticks and lit them from the oil lamp. Then, head bowed, I drew near the shrine and held them in both hands. I made an offering to the better spirits. Those who would not have betrayed me. Those who should have had mercy for the suffering of mortals. Perhaps in the back of my mind, I even pleaded for their _help_.

The door suddenly creaked and a cool rush of air made the fragrant smoke twirl into oblivion. Hiroshi had joined me.

"Forgive me for being late," he said, standing next to me before the shrine. "I had to make sure I was not followed."  
 _Coward._  
"Do not trouble yourself, Mr. Sato," I replied.  
"But there will be no need for so much caution in the future. Things are changing. Everything will be out in the open soon."  
"What do you mean? What is it that you wanted to see me about?"  
"I have come to talk to you about _Tarrlok_. My sources are telling me of his growing influence on the council. He is a very dangerous man, Amon. It is whispered that he is an extremist who dreams of taking over as head of the city and instituting a police state. He despises non-benders. His ideology is that we are inferior beings who should be eradicated. In his eyes, we are crippled because we cannot bend. These things, of course, he does not say out loud for the moment, but he has written much on the subject, under the name of _Koltharr_. Here."  
He handed me a yellow pamphlet. I skimmed through the text. Revolting, odious anti-Equalist propaganda. One sentence in particular sickened me:

_"These weaklings were born crippled, so that they might expiate the sins of their prior lives, where they proved themselves unworthy of possessing the gift of bending."_

I returned the pamphlet, unwilling to keep on reading.  
"In a way, Tarrlok is trying to mimic you, in an attempt to create his own little revolution. I have heard that he even has some followers, though he has not yet made any public speech. He's only written these appalling pamphlets."  
"He is of little consequence. The council will never give him full authority."  
"But they might, Amon. They might. You see, ever since Chief Lin Bei Fong - who could not endure the constraints of law and the lack of action taken against me - quit the head of the police, she was replaced by Saikham. One of Tarrlok's men. And now, it appears that Tarrlok is slowly gaining the allegiance of the other Council members, except for Tenzin. Violence against benders has greatly increased in the last few weeks. Especially after your last rally..."  
 _I am the instigator. The one who fanned the flames with the fury of his breath._  
"And now," Sato continued, "Tarrlok's more radical methods are beginning to win over the Council. They want peace to reign throughout the city, even if it must be obtained by force."  
"What do you mean, by force?"  
"Rumours have been circulating. Rumours that Tarrlok wants to impose a curfew on all non-benders. That he wants to elect himself as head of Council. A tyrant in the making. With the new police chief on his side, he has every chance of succeeding."  
"I see."  
"He's scheduled a press conference for tomorrow. That is when, we believe, he means to announce the measures he plans to take. And that is when the city will openly begin its war on the Equalists."  
There was such thoughtlessness in his use of the word _war_.  
"Tarrlok's true stance will eventually come to light. ...And so will mine, my leader. I will announce my allegiance to you. I will make it official. People will see that the head of the greatest enterprise of the city holds his views with pride and stands up against the tyranny of men like Tarrlok. Let them try to take me down if they wish. I am too revolted and will remain silent no longer."  
So Hiroshi Sato was not such a coward, after all.  
"I am happy to hear it. And in fact," I added, an idea forming in my mind, "I will give you the perfect opportunity to speak up, Mr. Sato. It just so happens that I also needed to see you, so it is good that you have called this meeting. I would like to hold a rally, as soon as you can find me a venue for it. But since you are to reveal yourself as an Equalist, then perhaps the task of finding a place will become much easier. We could opt for one of your factories."  
"That is a splendid idea," he replied. "But on one condition. You must let me speak before you. I wish to introduce you."  
I nodded.  
"Very well. Thank you, Mr. Sato."  
"One more thing, my leader. There is another matter that I wish to speak to you about. That is, my daughter. May I ask how she is doing?"  
 _I have desecrated her mind._  
"She is alright. But not an Equalist yet, I'm afraid."  
"So you have not managed to convert her?"  
"No. And I do not think I ever will. She is very stubborn."  
"But surely, being around you for so long must have changed her ideas a little."  
"Unfortunately, the proximity had other effects. Mr. Sato, I'm afraid that your daughter has developed a rather unhealthy fixation with me. And not as her leader. As a man."  
 _Why this confession?_  
Fearing his response, I resolved to say no more. Hiroshi turned towards me.  
"You mean to say that she has _feelings_ for you?"  
 _Such disdain in his voice._  
"I think so. I don't know. I feel like I have become the object of an amorous obsession."  
"Amon, you know that I respect and admire you beyond words. I have waited long for a leader such as yourself. But it is inappropriate that my daughter should..."  
"I agree, Mr. Sato. It cannot continue. In fact, I am troubled by the matter and wonder if you could perhaps advise me? She is your child, after all. What should I do? I told her that she can leave, but she refuses to do so."  
"No, she should not leave. She must remain with us. Especially now that Tarrlok is becoming a threat to non-benders. And I am not ready to give up on her conversion. Once she is rid of her... fixation, she might come to see you as her leader. We must clear the haze in her young mind. She is clearly deluded. She does not even know you. Has not even... seen you..."  
 _You are a monster, an abomination._  
I felt Sato grow uncomfortable, like everyone always did when alluding to my scars.  
"...With all due respect, my leader, I think you should simply show her your face."  
He immediately fell silent, probably wondering if he had been too bold. If he had insulted me.  
But I was beyond insult. Against me every possible curse had already been used.  
"Is your daughter a creature of the eye?" I replied.  
"No, at least, I don't believe she is, not particularly. But she is a young girl, and young people are inclined towards beauty. It is possible that she has built up an idealized image of you. If you showed her the truth, it could bring her back to reality. And then, she could start seeing you differently."  
I could free her from me. Without receiving her eternal hatred.  
For all things would become eternal to me after the solstice.  
"I will take your advice, Mr. Sato," I declared. "Thank you."  
He smiled.  
"As for the rally, I will arrange everything. It needs to happen soon after Tarrlok's press conference. The day after tomorrow would be best. Rest assured, I will keep you informed. You may start preparing your speech, my leader."  
"Good. Now, I must leave you."  
"Where are you going?"  
"Back to the headquarters," I said. "For I must be there when my Lieutenant returns."


	28. Master and Servant

[POV: Lieutenant]

He was a carved figure in the darkness. A tower, standing alone in the night, waiting. As I walked in, I saw his yellow eyes pierce the obscurity, like jewels shining against a black velvet shroud. He'd probably been there for hours. Patiently lingering by the door until my arrival. The master expecting his servant.

"Where were you, Lieutenant?" he asked, his voice deceitfully quiet.

I turned on the light in the corridor and waited for my men to go up the stairs. Amon didn't move. Not a single glance at the soldiers walking passed him. He stared directly at me, keeping me enslaved in his gaze.

"I asked you a question, subordinate. _Where were you?_ " he repeated.  
"We were investigating. Closing in on another group of criminal benders," I lied.  
"How many? How much blood do you have on your hands tonight, Lieutenant?"  
"None, I assure you. Didn't you hear what I just said? We are _closing in_ on them, implying that we haven't yet _found_ them."  
My leader hit me across the face.  
It stung so viciously, the sudden rush of blood.  
"What is this impertinence with which you choose to speak to me? I want you to tell me where you were. And why you said nothing to me of your plans."  
"I already told you," I replied, wiping the hot blood from the corner of my mouth. "We went looking for a gang of benders. I did not inform you, because I did not deem it _necessary_."  
"Lieutenant, I gave you your own special unit so that it might help you obey my orders. Not so that you may think yourself a leader. You must consult with me about your every move. I thought that it was self-evident, but it seems as though I should have made it plain to you from the very beginning."  
"I apologize," I blurted, barely containing my anger. "Will that be all, Amon?"  
"No. That _won't be all_. There is something that I need to speak to you about."  
He grabbed my arm.  
"Last night, I meditated. I travelled inwards, towards the center of my being. Many things were revealed to me in that place. Lieutenant, when I told you about my illumination, I concealed something from you. The spirits who gave me my powers are _evil_. Something that I sensed from the very beginning. But their hatred of benders seemed to echo mine, and in my rage, I decided to make a pact with them. In exchange for my powers, I gave them my body and my soul. And now, I have found out that they never truly intended for me to cleanse this world of its sickness. These spirits do not care about mortals, do not resent benders in particular; they seek only _chaos_ , obtained through hatred and war, they are..."

My leader, attempting to tear down everything that we had built together. Betraying the wise spirits who had gifted him with the power to save non-benders from oppression. _Why?_  
"Stop it! I will hear no more!" I cried, pulling away.  
"On the next solstice, they will take over my body. A part of them is already within me..."  
"I said, shut up!"

A single thrust of the fist. A violent blow to the stomach.  
The servant, hitting his master.

Amon gasped, backing away. And time held still.  
I watched him suffer, and enjoy his suffering, and resent it, and want it gone, and want it to go on.

"For... Forgive me," I finally said, breaking the silence.  
Realizing what I had done.  
But not truly regretting it.  
I waited for his punishment, but it never came.

"I'm sorry, Amon," I continued, "but I cannot bear hearing you say such things. Such fabrications. The truth of the matter is, you have lost the flame of the Revolution. I can see it in your eyes. Such despair, such _fear_. You've let yourself become distracted. And it has weakened you."  
"You don't know what you are talking about..."  
"Oh, but I do, my leader. I do. That girl. Sato's daughter. Always walking in and out of her room. Your so-called attempts to convert her. Perhaps she's converted _you_. You're consumed with her, and it has made you fall out of love with the Revolution. You've succumbed to profane desires, you, the one whom I saw as more than a man. But I was wrong."  
"You fool. You wretched, obstinate fool. Despair? Fear? What else should I feel? They will take over my body. They are inside me. I am _changing_."  
He pulled down his hood and undid the straps of his mask, which he promptly removed.  
"Look at me! I am becoming a man of eternal _fire_! The destroyer of the mortal world!"  
I could barely contemplate him. His anger amplified the ugliness of his scars. His face was an indistinguishable mass of mutilated flesh. I would have liked to stare at it out of defiance, but it made me feel too _sick_ to do so.

"Stop this, Amon. You are embarrassing yourself," I said.  
As a response, Amon took off his gloves and stared at his hands.  
"So you cannot perceive my blackened body. It must be given to me as a recurring vision, warning me of the transformation that lies ahead... I suppose that for now, I am alone in my nightmare," he mused, before finally putting his mask back on.  
"Well, I see that I cannot reason with you, Lieutenant. You are blinded by your hatred of benders. You refuse to believe me, though I am your leader. So I will ask you to at least obey me. We are to hold a rally in the following days. Your presence is required."  
"A rally? So soon? I'm afraid I can't organize one in such a short amount of time," I retorted.  
"I have already arranged everything with Hiroshi Sato. He wishes to finally reveal his allegiance to us, and has offered one of his factories as a venue."  
"It's good to see that my assistance is not vital to you. I wonder you took the trouble of waiting for me at the door until sundown."  
He slowly covered his head with his hood.  
"You will drown in regret when they enter this world through me, mortal. And it will be too late to ask for my forgiveness then. Only their voices, cursing you, will emerge from my mouth."

How far was he determined to go to justify and conceal his weakness? How long would he hold on to this fantasy of his? How long before he attracted the wrath of the spirits whose generosity he was insulting? Was his shame stronger than his belief? How poisoned was his mind, and did he really want to betray everything that we'd stood for? Only time would tell. In the meantime, I had already taken the necessary precautions to ensure the survival of our Revolution.  
"I do not wish to pursue this conversation," I declared.  
Amon glared at me.  
"Neither do I," he replied, retreating. "I have destroyed your reason, your kindness, and everything that was once good in you. Talking to you now, Lieutenant, is like looking straight into a _mirror_."


	29. Saviour

[POV: Asami]

I was Amon's _shadow_. A dark shape he dragged behind him on the ground, like a feeble, mangled prey. He paraded me throughout the city, walking in the middle of the streets while all beheld him in fear. Smoke rose from the pores of his skin, his clothes burned like paper. I was trailed along in the dirt as he headed towards the edge of the Earth. An endless chasm of grief.  
I screamed.  
I begged him to release me.  
But in my throat there was no voice.  
And I could not be severed from him.

* * *

I woke up with the taste of ashes on my tongue. A dream, more vivid than reality. I examined the light outside my window and guessed it was midday. Had I slept, or had I been in a _trance_?

What was consciousness, anyway? Nothing but an abstract notion, something I could not slap, grasp, strangle, hold in my arms. Something I could neither hate nor love.

But Amon, Amon was real.

I remembered his words. He would not see me that day, or the next. He'd offered me freedom. But he was a deceiver. He'd swallowed my freedom the moment he'd set eyes on me.

_Ah, but he needed me.  
And I, him._

I would not wait for Amon, like I had the previous day. It would be fruitless, desperate. I had to go outside, clear my mind, breathe. Quickly, I got dressed and put on my boots, then covered my head with a scarf.

As I walked passed the kitchen, I saw him. He sat by the radio, resting his arm on the table. His Lieutenant was there as well, but they did not speak to each other. They were like strangers, waiting on the hands of the clock and letting the seconds expound the principles of time. I would have liked to call out to Amon, just to see his eyes again, but instead I made for the stairway.

Once on the street, I felt exposed, so I decided to buy a pair of sunglasses. I'd left all my things at Air Temple Island, though my father had sent me a few clothes and money from home. I was no longer his daughter, yet he still seemed to think himself my father.

When he put the change in my hand and wished me a pleasant day, the young storekeeper reminded me of Mako. He had the same smile. I wondered what Amon's smile would have looked like without his scars.

Behind my new lenses, the world had suddenly grown colder. I wandered through the crowds, my mind still there, with _him_. No matter how far I walked, it was as though I had never left the headquarters.

There was a large gathering near the Council building. I drew near, wondering what had drawn so many people there. Flashbulbs popped in every direction, and journalists scrambled to reach the front rows, like waves battling to reach the shore. I pulled my scarf further over my face and infiltrated their ranks, trying to get a better view. Behind a stand with a microphone stood he Councilman named _Tarrlok_.

A man gestured towards him, signaling that it was time for him to begin. Tarrlok cleared his throat and pushed back one of his braids over his shoulder, making it slide against the fine silk of his garment.

"Citizens of Republic City," he said, "You have endured _enough_. For too long, wolves have been allowed to tear your peace apart. The Equalists have challenged the foundations of this great society, and have refused to submit to its laws. Agitation has filled the streets. Unease has entered your households. And _now_ is the time to take your city back."

Some murmured, others rose their voices in agreement.

"We must put an end to this disorder. Drastic measures must be taken against the Equalists. We have been patient, we have given them a chance to retreat and obey the law, but they have rejected our tolerance and mistaken it for weakness. My task-force has been unable to do its job properly, because the city Council has been _afraid_ , yes _afraid_ to implement the necessary policies, tools that would help us attack the Equalist problem at its core. And that core, my friends, is the jealously and hatred of _nonbenders_."

I pulled back, not wanting to be seen.

"Let it be known that from this day forward, the Equalists have officially been declared _enemies of the City_. As a result, new legislation has just been approved by the council. First, all people found guilty of sympathizing with the Equalists shall be subject to interrogation and, if need be, to sanctions by law. Second, all people found guilty of being members of the Equalists shall be imprisoned, pending a collective trial. Third, all people found guilty of attending Equalist rallies shall be imprisoned, pending a collective trial. Fourth, in order to ensure their safety, a curfew, effective from eight o'clock in the evening has been imposed upon _all_ nonbenders of the City. Whoever chooses to disobey the curfew shall also be imprisoned, pending a collective trial."

"End the Equalist terror!" A man screamed.  
"What of our _rights?_ " Another one demanded.

"I am aware that these measures may appear strict, but they are merely temporary. With these new laws, my task-force will undoubtedly end this so-called Revolution and peace _will_ be restored. Once Amon is captured and brought to justice, a collective trial will decide the fate of his supporters. My goal is not to oppress you, my fellow citizens. Nonbenders, you are not targeted in vain. We are doing this for your own protection; we do not want you to get caught in the crossfire when we confront Amon's belligerent forces. Do you wish to be arrested along with the real Equalists who roam the streets at night? I think not. And that is why this curfew is necessary. Furthermore, it will discourage Equalist activities. Let them operate in broad daylight, instead of hiding in the darkness!"

Tarrlok gathered his papers and let the mitigated reaction of the crowd sink in. Then, as he prepared to leave, he added:

"I am fighting for peace. And if ever have the honour of being elected head of council one day, I am prepared to hear all of your grievances. If there truly is a problem between benders and non-benders in Republic City, I am the right man to solve it."

Peace. Could Tarrlok truly bring peace back to the city? His methods did indeed seem unfair, and my heart raced with indignation at the thought of having a curfew imposed on non-benders only. But it had come to this. The Revolution had gone too far. Such violence in the streets; it had never happened before. I knew very little about Tarrlok, only that Korra disliked him. And that meant nothing to me, for I no longer trusted Korra's judgment. She was the Avatar, and yet she had chosen to join the Fire Ferrets instead of taking care of her duties from the start. And now things had evolved in such a way that only methods like Tarrlok's seemed like the right path to take.

After the initial excitement, the audience settled down and slowly dispersed. I took the long way back to the headquarters, wondering if Tarrlok was to be trusted.

I found out soon enough.  
When I got to my room, an Equalist soldier handed me a large envelope and said it was from my father. I sat down, opened it and emptied its contents on my mattress. A dozen pamphlets, all signed _Kholtarr_ , poured out, followed by a note in my father's hand. I picked it up and read it.

All it said was _Tarrlok, saviour of Republic City_.


	30. Purify

[POV: Amon]

_You have besieged me_   
_Pillaged my soul_   
_Trampled my thoughts_   
_Raped my countenance_   
_Slaughtered my hopes_   
_Overrun me with your evil_   
_Yet I will not bow_

* * *

The blind monk unveiled the ritual dagger. It had been wrapped in a blood-red cloth. He extended his arms, offering it to me with ceremonial reverence. I accepted it, and he began to chant an old mantra. It echoed through the temple, filled the air around us. I listened intently, until I was ready to pick it up.

Then, only my voice was heard. The monk had withdrawn, leaving me in mediation. As the ritual required, I envisioned myself chasing away the evil spirits with the _Phurpa_ as my weapon. I followed them through narrow passes, over ruined walls, down steep, cold stairs. They slipped away as I threatened them with the dagger, slipped away in circles, seemingly retreating, but never truly leaving.

Hours passed. I tired of the chanting. My legs began to ache. I was but a mortal; weak, temporal.  
When I pulled out of meditation, I saw the door open slowly, letting the sunlight in. I rose to my feet with the dagger in both hands, wondering what time it was.

The monk walked in and took the dagger, which he carefully put away. He did not ask how the ritual had gone, but simply lead me outside. There, in the tiny courtyard, by his living quarters, was a round table, where I sat. On it, two porcelain cups. The monk disappeared for a few moments, then reemerged with a teapot, from which he poured us hot oolong tea.

We drank together in silence. He was a man of few words, and I, a man of many secrets. Still, it seemed to me as though he knew more, _much more_ about me than I had told him. As a blind earthbender could see with his hands and feet, _he_ could see with the spirit.

"How long until you descend upon us, Black Dragon?" he suddenly said.  
Startled, I put my cup down and gazed into his empty, white eyes.  
"What do you... what do you mean?"  
He did not reply.  
Why should he have bothered with a question whose answer I already knew?  
What would have been the purpose of it?  
"I am afraid," I declared, filled with unexpected fragility.  
My hands trembled on the table.  
"It is _they_ who are afraid of _you_."  
I stared blankly at him, unsure of what to think. The monk lifted the lid off the teapot and placed his hand above the opening. When he had concluded that we had finished the tea, he took it back to the kitchen.

I decided that it was time for me to leave. The rally would begin in the evening, and I could not be late. It was noon when I'd arrived at the temple, and now, judging by the shadows on the ground, it was late in the afternoon.  
"Thank you," I said to the monk after he'd walked me to the exit.  
"Come here whenever you are ready," he replied.  
"...When I am ready for what?"  
"You will know."  
It was all he told me before he shut the wooden gate behind me.

* * *

I waited under the improvised stage that Hiroshi Sato had built for the rally. I felt the reverberation of the speakers in my chest as he made his Equalist allegiance public, amidst the incessant cheering of the crowd. Word about the rally had spread fast in the underground. And thousands of people had responded to the invitation.  
"My brothers and sisters," he said, near the end of his speech, "let there be no more doubt about whose side I am on. It is the side of _justice_ , the side of _equality_. I, Hiroshi Sato, founder of Future Industries, fight for the Equalists!"

 _"My, how fierce he sounds."_  
I had almost forgotten about the serpent, whose head I had not crushed.  
He spoke to me occasionally, stirring in his moonless prison. He could not see the mortal world, but through me, he could hear everything.  
 _This man is a genious, Tao._  
"So was I."  
You were nothing but a madman.  
"And you, a madman's apprentice."

"Councilman Tarrlok, however, fights on the side of our oppressors. He is a wild animal whose leash is being removed. A monstrous tyrant whose sole objective is to put into practice his own scandalous, abominable doctrines. While accusing our great leader of hiding in the shadows, _he_ has been hiding under a pseudonym; that of _Kholtarr_. He is the author of the heinous pamphlets that have been circulating throughout the city, pamphlets in which he dares to call non-benders _crippled_."  
A clamour arose from the crowd.  
"What is our response to his provocations? Are we to allow such a man to infringe upon our freedom, our rights, our _dignity?_ No, we will not. All we need to do, is to follow our leader. I speak, brothers and sisters, of our hero, our saviour... _Amon!_ "

The platform I was standing on suddenly moved, lifting me up to the stage. This method of entrance had been one of the many ways in which I had tried to turn myself into a god. But now, I felt like an offering, nothing more than _sacrifice_.

I saw the Lieutenant on the side of the stage, with his hands behind his back. Hiroshi had joined him, amidst the applause. I walked over to the microphone and took a deep breath. Then, I began to speak.

"I once said that the spirits were the guardians of our world. I claimed that they had chosen me to usher in a new era of balance. But the spirit world, my brothers and sisters, mirrors our own. In our realms dwell both evil and good."  
 _"What are you trying to do, slave?"_  
"The quest for justice is done in the pursuit of good. The quest for the _annihilation_ of benders, however, is done in pursuit of evil."  
 _Ah, the sting of their vicious glances._  
"What I have witnessed in the streets these past few weeks - the crimes, the hatred, the violence - I cannot condone. Open your eyes. The ugliness of war is looming over us. Is this what our Revolution was truly meant to lead to? The death of the bender is not his cure. If we set out to murder every single one of our enemies, then how are we any different from the firebenders who terrorized the world during the Hundred Year War?"  
 _"Do you wish to withdraw your own poison from their veins?"_  
"The feelings that first determined me to begin this Revolution were indeed feelings of hatred and vengeance. For years, I let the black tar within me simmer. Once I'd been given the power to equalize, I was sure the fire would ignite. And it did. One day, I took a bender's life. It was not enough that I had taken his bending. I slaughtered him like a _pig_ , and felt nothing but exhilaration, until my bloodlust subsided and I realized what I had turned into. I had sworn that I would never be like him. Like the firebender who had taken my face. Laughing while he did it. But it was exactly what had happened. I had become the _tormentor_."  
 _"And you regretted not doing the same to me."_  
"From that moment on, I decided to become a different man. I purified myself of my anger. And in time, I came to understand that benders were victims of their own depravation. That to equalize them meant to save them."  
 _"My hero."_  
"The spirits who gave me my powers are no guardians. They do not wish for me to bring balance into the world. Brothers and sisters, they have deceived me. They seek only _chaos_."  
The Lieutenant turned away, leaving. He did not look back, and disappeared into the crowd.  
"I will not be with you for much longer. And that is why I am making this plea. Do not serve the evil spirits. Serve our ideals, our unblemished, unaltered ideals. Never forget them, and rise from this madness in which you have sunken."  
 _"Madness, madman, madman, madness,"_ Tao uttered obsessively.  
"Let us continue our work, our struggle for justice, equality, purity. Let us teach the ignorant benders about the Light of Truth. May we carry on and never stray from the path we had set for ourselves."  
I stared at the tumultuous ocean before me. Many people were leaving, just like my Lieutenant. Rejecting the truth, creating their own. Freely choosing to pursue evil. Oh, there was a inherent sickness in human nature that I could never cure.

Most of the audience remained, but it was no consolation, for the one person whom I had wanted to stay, was the one who had been the first to leave.

Hiroshi hurriedly escorted me off the stage. He seemed perplexed by my speech, but not yet ready to form an opinion. He would weigh my words, analyze the facts and decide later on. His mind worked logically, like all of his machines.  
Yet his eyes were brimming with something irrational.  
"You must leave, my leader," he said, "for the police will be here soon."  
And so the Black Dragon returned to its den.


	31. Prison

[POV: Asami]

_Tell me of the abominations of your past_   
_And of those of your future_   
_Tell me of the fire that burns within you_   
_And of that which will consume the world_

* * *

He came to me in the night. An emperor of shadows, kneeling at my bedside.

Before I could even gasp for breath, Amon made a gesture to silence me. He lit a candle and let the light of the fire kiss his mask, drawing it out of the darkness in a warm embrace.

He stared at me with his glowing eyes, seemingly hesitant. I heard him exhale. Moan, as though even the air that went through his lungs were an affliction. I waited.  
Amon slowly pulled the hood off his head.  
"Look at me, Asami," he whispered.  
His fingers reached for the straps of his mask. He undid them and held the mask in place with one hand.  
 _What was he doing?_  
"...And see what a monster I am."

He exhibited his mutilated flesh, letting it speak the tacit horrors of his past. The ravaged state of his soul.  
I was once again confronted with his faceless sorrow.

But this time, I didn't pull back.  
I could barely stand looking at him, yet I held out my hands and hopelessly searched his face.  
 _Where was it? Where was the delicate curve of the lips?_  
My thumb brushed over his mouth, and he pushed me away.

"What are you doing, child?" he asked, his voice quivering both with rage and misery.  
"I'm so sorry for what they did to you," I said.  
A river of tears, born in my eyes.  
He grabbed my arm.  
 _It hurt._  
"Foolish mortal."  
"Let go of me."  
"Why do you weep for me?"  
"I said, let go!"  
"My Lieutenant's respect towards me has turned to contempt," he declared. "And your fear has turned to _pity_."

He rose. I instinctively clung on to his tunic.  
"You think that's all it takes to get rid of me? That seeing your scars will _free_ me from you?" I cried.  
"Stop this."  
"Do you want to free me, Amon?"  
He unclenched my fingers by force, eluding my grasp.  
"Then take my life," I said. "It's the only way. End this now!"  
 _What was I saying?_  
Madness.  
"No," he replied, putting his mask back on, and then withdrawing.

* * *

When I woke up in the morning, neither Amon nor his Lieutenant were there. They had each gone on separate business; at least, that's what I assumed, since they no longer seemed to think in synchrony.

I noticed that some Equalist soldiers had gathered in the kitchen. I joined them, but they ignored me, listening carefully to the radio:

_"...but according to an official report released just moments ago, Equalist leader Amon held a rally in one of Hiroshi Sato's factories yesterday evening. Thankfully, Republic City's finest raided the building at approximately 9:15 PM, and made several arrests. Amongst the detained is Hiroshi Sato himself, who apparently made public his Equalist affiliation."_

I put a hand over my mouth. Heads turned towards me.

_"He, as well as all the others, are being held at police headquarters on Lu Wei Street, where there are the largest holding cells. As you know, Tarrlok recently announced new legislation, which..."_

My father. They had arrested him. Put him behind bars, like a common criminal. And I was there, doing _nothing_. Waiting for Amon to come back. Begging him to _kill me_.

_No wonder Amon thought me unworthy._

I left within the hour. I had to see my father, make sure he was unharmed. Show him that I was still his daughter, that I was not prepared to turn my back on him when he was in danger. Assuming the same disguise as the last time I'd gone out, I put on my sunglasses and the scarf over my head, then hurried towards the Lu Wei headquarters.

When I walked in, a police officer at the front desk immediately intercepted me.

"Can I help you, miss?" he asked.  
"I've come to visit Mr. Sato."  
"There are no visiting hours today."  
"I demand to see him _now_."  
"And just who do you think you are?"  
I took off my glasses and removed the scarf.  
"I'm his daughter."

* * *

The room they lead me to was cold and windowless. But I knew better than to think they could not see, hear right through it. They'd let me in, perhaps because they hoped I would produce evidence of my own association with the Equalists. Or that I would let information slip about the location of Amon's headquarters. For the time being, they had nothing against me; I was Sato's daughter, but I was an ordinary citizen who had not - at least, as far as they could tell - broken any laws.

I barely recognized my father when they brought him in. His face was full of bruises and _fear_. He had a black eye, a cut on his lower lip. His knees trembled as staggered towards the table I was sitting at. His head sunk as he waited for the police officers to leave us alone in the room.

"Daddy," I burst out, unable to endure the sight of him in such a pitiful state.  
"Listen to me, Asami. You don't have to tell them anything. You had nothing to do with this."  
"What have they done to you? Did they _beat_ you?"  
"They merely interrogated me," he replied, keeping his statements guarded.  
I sprang out of my chair and slammed my fists on the table.  
"Is this how Republic City's police force _interrogates_ its suspects?" I yelled.  
But the sound of my anger just echoed through the empty space, fading into futility.  
"Quiet yourself down, Asami. Everything will be alright. I knew this would happen. And I'm not afraid. I know that I did the right thing. Now the entire city knows, knows what kind of men fight on the side of the Equalists. Not thugs and criminals, but people with a vision for the future, and a hunger for _justice_."  
"They have no right to treat you like this. You haven't even been tried yet."  
"They want to know where the headquarters are. But I will never tell them. Go home, Asami, my child. Stay out of this."

He gave me no time to respond. He rose to his feet and went for the door. With cuffed hands, he knocked, asking to be let out. My father wanted me to avoid saying anything that would give them satisfaction.

As they escorted me outside, we went passed the cells, and I scanned my surroundings. It was an old building that had been repurposed as a police station. There were six large cells, three of which were occupied. I mapped the environment in my head, like my father always did. He had designed many of our factories, and I had spent hours looking through his drawings as a child. He had also bought many buildings in Republic City, and I remembered that this one had once been a contender.

_Fate was on my side._

I eluded the spy they had sent after me. I lost him after three blocks, vanishing in an alley. Stealth, not confrontation, was the primary way in which I had learned to defend myself.  
Before returning to the Equalist headquarters, I stopped home. The police had sealed off the entire building, but there were few men guarding it, so I easily made my way in. I sneaked into my father's office and looked through his files - I knew he kept the details of everything he had ever considered buying. Like the plans of the Lu Wei headquarters.

Getting into the underground weapons factory was a little harder. There were investigators everywhere. I waited. Carefully made my way through. I hid behind a mecha tank and saw a group of wooden crates in the distance. Soon after I'd hurried towards them, I discovered one that contained stick grenades. Climbing over it, I quickly smashed it open with my boot and filled the bag I had brought with me.

An officer stirred, sensing me as I tried to slip by unnoticed. He was an earthbender, and could feel me treading the ground. But someone called out for him, and I took advantage of his distraction to run away.

It occurred to me that I stood little chance against a bender. That I had defeated many Equalists with my friends, but that there was no glory in it. Non-benders who faced benders, knowing how disadvantaged they were, had more courage than I'd ever had.

Once back at the headquarters, I went straight to my room. Amon hadn't returned, and neither had the Lieutenant. I sat on the floor and studied the plans I had snatched. I circled, completed, estimated, reorganized. And knew exactly where the back walls of the cells were. I was ready, except for one thing, which was soon resolved.

When I glanced up, I caught a glimpse of the Equalist uniform under my bed.

* * *

A piece of paper, falling through an air vent.  
 _"Take shelter near the bars and stay down."_  
Three stick grenades, thrown in specific spots along the wall.  
 _Boom._  
Men, pouring out in droves.  
Confusion.  
Delayed reaction time.  
A Lieutenant, arriving too late to free his master's disciples himself.  
Face to face with a woman in an Equalist uniform.  
"Who are you?"  
She vanishes.  
Offering no reply.


	32. Bloodbender

[POV: Amon]

A thousand shards of glass surrounded me, catching my reflection.  
Multiplying it, and filling the air as I leaped into the room.

I landed amidst the debris, and for a moment, time stood still. Silence fell after me, obeying deferred gravity.  
But the sound of a waterfall soon reached my consciousness, as though it had held its breath at my sudden intrusion.

I glanced sideways. He was there, at his desk, a started look in his eyes. We both rose.

" _Amon?_ "  
I stood before him like the pillar of a temple.  
 _The temple of chaos._  
"What are you doing here?," he demanded. "How _dare_ you break into my office like this? Have you... have you lost your mind?"  
He defiantly pointed at me with his finger.  
"Do you wish to be arrested? Have you had enough of your freedom?"  
 _I am a stranger to freedom._  
"Or perhaps you have decided to hand yourself in?"  
"You ask too many questions, Councilman," I said, finally addressing him. "It would be wise to listen instead."

I could not see his face very clearly, for the blue light of the waterfall behind him turned him into a dark silhouette. I noticed the sculpture on the wall; two Koi fish in a circle. The ominous duality of _Ying_ and _Yang_.  
"I know what you are planning to do. Your sick, vile doctrines. You've made yourself abundantly clear in your pamphlets, _Kholtarr_."  
He smirked.  
"Guilty as charged," he replied.  
"I am not here to discuss your writings, or to try to persuade you of your own depravity. I am here because I must warn you. The direction in which you are steering this city is a fatal one. You are about to push Republic City into a war, all for your selfish ambition and your twisted ideals."  
"That's funny. Doesn't that sound rather familiar to you?"  
I did not grace his provocation with a reply.  
"We seem oddly similar, don't we?" he insisted. "One could even say that we are like... _brothers_. Same amount of resolve, of idealism. Same power of influence over others. But of course, one always prevails over the other. You see, I am the golden child, Amon."  
"Listen to me. You don't understand. There are things that I bear, which are beyond anything that you could imagine. I will unleash something into the world, and this war, this hatred? It will _feed_ it."  
"What are you talking about?" he snapped.  
"In three months' time, the spirits that gave me my powers will enter this realm through my body. And they will thrive on the chaos we will have already created. They will expand it, keep it in perpetual motion. You cannot win, _I_ cannot win. We are but the _agitators_."  
"If you think your little fantasies are going to stop me from achieving my dream, then you are a fool. I know what's happening to you, Amon. You're losing control. You're afraid of what you've started. Are you pacifist? Some kind of _monk_? Did you think a Revolution could ever occur without bloodshed? You are afraid of your own authority. Of your own armies. But _I'm not_. This city belongs to _me_. And I swear to you now that I will rid it of all its non-bender parasites."  
" _You_ are the fool, Tarrlok! You do not know what forces I have summoned!"  
"Enough!"  
Tarrlok left his desk and started walking towards me.  
"I won't call my guards," he said. "I shall keep the pleasure all to myself."

A blade of water rushed towards me, digging into the flesh of my arm like a sword. He bent the water from the waterfall and assailed me with its force.  
I stepped back, unwilling to fight him.  
"What's the matter? Lost all your courage, you _cripple?_ "  
A gasp suffocated me as he punched me in the chest. He hit me across the face with his elbow, and I heard my mask crack. Then, he threw me to the ground and kicked me in the ribs, once, twice, too many times to count.  
It made me shiver. I moaned.  
 _Oh, punish me, punish me for all my crimes._  
My body was drenched in pain, like I had fallen into an ocean of penance.  
Yet in it no forgiveness could be found.

When his thirst for violence had been quenched, Tarrlok turned around and went back to lean against the front of his desk. He stared at me with satisfaction, pushing one of his long braids back over his shoulder.  
"Such a pity to see a man of your stature reduced to looking like a beggar on the floor. But that is where you non-benders belong. Tell me, Amon. How about showing me that face of yours? I heard firebenders are quite the artisans."  
I gathered all my strength and stood up, defying him.  
"Ah, looks like you're not so weak after all," he said.  
 _You wretched, miserable imbecile. You know not who I am._  
I drew closer.  
"I _let_ you subdue me, mortal."  
His grin faded.  
"I am not afraid of you, Amon. You see, I have a few secrets of my own," he continued, raising his hands over his head like a puppeteer. "You stand no chance against me."  
I kept on walking.

But my veins suddenly tightened, like the blood flowing through them came to a halt. All my limbs were paralyzed, and my heart felt like it wanted to dig itself out of my breast. Tensioning puppet strings, claiming control of my body.

_Could it be?_

There he was, displaying his hidden ability to me. His perverse, sickening gift. There he was, the most despicable of his kind.

_Bloodbender._

The disgust that filled my soul overshadowed the one I had once felt for the men of fire who had murdered my family. It was greater than the mountains, stronger than the storms. It renewed my faith in the cause, even though it had never truly wavered.

_Such evil in one man._

I seized control of his gaze. The strength of the spirits was within me, and I would use it as I pleased.  
"You cannot bloodbend me," I declared, and began walking towards him, resisting the vicious force that was trying to keep me still.  
"I'll rip your heart right out of your chest!" he cried.  
" _Look into my eyes,_ " I said, advancing even more.

At last, the strings snapped.  
And soon, I was right in front of him.  
 _Oh, if only I could break their chains as well._  
"What...what are you?" Tarrlok asked, his arrogance now in ashes.

"I am the solution..."  
I jabbed him in the throat, then watched him sink to the ground, coughing.  
"...yet the destroyer of this world."

Grabbing him by the back of the neck, I placed my thumb on his forehead.  
 _This mind is full of atrocities._  
There was rush of cool air around us. The papers on his desk flew in all directions, covering the ground.  
Tarrlok exhaled, and his eyes rolled back into his head.  
I let him go.

The Councilman, equalized.


	33. Lieutenant

[POV:Lieutenant]

We sat across from each other in the empty passenger car, like two strangers on a train who had struck up a conversation to kill time. Climbing aboard at different stations, appearing never to have met before. Yet having so much to talk about.

There was dust in the air between us, revealed by the dim light coming through the grimy window. We'd been speaking for a while and had now drifted into a moment of silence. Hiroshi pushed his glasses back up on his nose and smiled faintly.  
"How ironic it is that I should meet you here, I who am responsible for the demise of trains," he said.  
"Satomobiles are a brilliant invention. And the invention of a _non-bender_. You should be proud of yourself for all that you've achieved, Mr. Sato."  
"Oh, but I am, rest assured. I am. Only, it is a shame that our trains have lost all their glory."  
"They were once powered by firebenders," I said.  
"Indeed, Lieutenant, at one time, they were. But I am sorry to see what is happening to our trains. They were a passion when I was a boy, you see. Perhaps one day I will look into them again. Reinvent them, give them new life."  
He shifted on his seat and looked over at me.  
"I'm not used to seeing you dressed like this, Lieutenant. It suits you better than your war garments," he said.  
I glanced down at my light grey tweed suit and my two-tone leather shoes, which I had polished for the first time in years. I had not worn civilian clothes since the beginning of the Revolution.  
Sighing, I took off my hat and passed a hand through my hair.  
"It is getting increasingly difficult to get around unnoticed these days. That psychopath in the Council, Tarrlok. He's after us all, like a mad hound."  
"In contrast, our leader seems to be growing softer," Sato observed.  
Fragments of Amon's revolting speech came to mind. It had been over a month. And he had made many other similar speeches. But I had not been there to listen to them.  
"I do not wish to speak of him, Mr. Sato."  
"Then let us speak of _you_ instead," he insisted. "You see, I don't even know how you came to be Amon's right-hand man. How you two met. How you joined the Revolution. He never told me."  
"Amon..." I began, hesitating. "Amon saved my life."  
"Oh?"  
Resigned, I continued.  
"I come from a very poor village, Mr. Sato. A village where there weren't many possibilities for young men. Working the land, or joining the army. I chose the latter."  
Sato reached for a cigarette in his pocket and placed it in his mouth. He lit it and took a long drag, listening.

"As it so happened, I was a very talented soldier. So talented, in fact, that after many years of peacetime service, I was finally offered to join an elite team of the United Forces. A team consisting exclusively of _benders_. Flattered, I accepted. It was my dream to become a great officer, and I knew that this was the opportunity of my life. You see, elite teams are sent out in different places around the world on various missions. Not just for defense, but also for problem-solving. I would make my family proud, and _become_ someone. That was what I wanted back then. I thought it would be a dream come true."  
I looked out at the city, behind the scratches on the window.  
"But from the very first day I arrived at the military base, I was made to feel like I was _nothing_. The other soldiers thought me an overly-ambitious weakling. My teammates thought it unfair that they should have a non-bender in their team. They claimed I would slow them down. Only one officer, General Ming, had faith in me. He told me that I had great potential, and that one day, I might even become his Lieutenant. He said I had a bright mind, which was far more important than physical prowess. Three years passed. Training was difficult. The men in my team did everything in their power to sabotage me. They saw that I was better than they'd imagined, and that I could rise to the top. So their contempt turned to jealousy. A non-bender, surpassing them? Becoming an officier instead of them? No, they would not allow it. They... they played all sorts of twisted games on me, Mr. Sato. They wanted me to give up..."  
I paused, unwilling to awake certain memories.  
"In any case, I endured. I would not let them interfere with my dream. I did my best to remain kind to them, for I was confident that I could somehow gain their approval. Eventually, we were sent out on our first mission. We had to rid a village of some wild animals who were destroying crops. Our following missions were very similar. Petty things, you see. But one day, we were sent to a small town, where were had been instructed to look into a case of gangsterism. I was the one who solved it. The officers took notice, and on our next mission, I was to lead the team. It drove my teammates mad. They would not endure having to obey a non-bender, an _opportunist_ , as they called me. On this particular mission, we had to provide protection for a rich man from Republic City. He had retired to a small town after he had testified in a case of opium traffic. We were to live in his manor and ensure his safety until reassigned. It took months. Boredom set in. Nothing happend. Soldiers in peacetime, Mr. Sato, can grow very unruly. Monotony, especially to men who were promised great missions, is like poison. After a while, my teammates and I found opium in the house. We began consuming it, but at some point, I refused to take any more of the drug. How would I ever become an officer if I did such a thing? I warned my teammates, told them that if I saw anyone take opium again, I would reveal everything to Headquarters. And that was the last straw for my teammates."  
A man walked passed us, heading for the next train car. I paused until he was gone.  
"They planted all the opium in my room, and publicly accused me. Superior officers were summoned. When I realized what was happening, I stupidly chose to run away. I was scared. It would be my word, against theirs. A non-bender's word, against a group of benders'. I didn't run for long. They caught me outside of town; the earthbender on the team made the ground sink under me, and I was caught in a pit. I was accused of desertion, theft, drug possession, betrayal. Afraid that continuing to vouch for me would taint his reputation, General Ming offered me no help. I was court-martialed, and imprisoned. And I spent eight years in a military prison, Mr. Sato. Eight long, brutal years during which all I could think about was what a fool I had been to believe that benders could ever consider me their equal."  
Mr. Sato shook his head.  
"When I was finally set free, I did not return home. My family claimed that I had shamed them. I had nothing left, no rank, no dreams, no future, only _revenge_. So I set out to find my old teammates, who by now had become well-seasoned soldiers. I found out they were stationed in a field outside a town in the Southern Earth Kingdom. I snuck up on them, but when it came to it, I couldn't bring myself to kill them. In all my years of peacetime service, I'd never had to take anyone's life. I spared my teammates, but they did not spare _me_. Although I did my best to fight them off, they attacked me with all their force. I stood no chance. They beat me to death... Well, they would have, if it hadn't been for _him_.

"Amon?" Sato asked.  
"Yes. He happened to be passing through that same field. The one we were in. He saw them, how they'd assailed me with their bending. So he just walked over to them, overcame and equalized them, one by one. I couldn't believe my eyes. At the end of it, he held out his hand to me, and I rose. He said I no longer had to endure the oppression of benders. That I was free."  
"And that's when you joined him?"  
"No. He told me that he had greats plans for the future. A world without bending. That he was looking for men willing to fight alongside of him. I declined his offer. I found him a strange man. He said that our paths would cross again if it was the will of the spirits. When he walked away, I thought I'd never see him again."  
"But you did."  
"Not intentionally. Call it fate. We both ended up in Republic City. I decided that I would try to earn a living there by working at different factories. But even that proved to be a disappointment. I was not a bender. What's more, I was an ex-convict. There was little work for a man like me. So I took to drinking instead. _That_ was the only thing benders did not deny non-benders, or did any better than them. I became the shadow of the man I had once aspired to be. A living deadman, going from one bar to the next, squandering all his savings and being offered free drinks out of compassion."  
I put my straw hat back on.  
"Then, one night, my life changed forever. Between two glasses of rice liquor, through the fumes of my drunkenness, I saw him again. Amon. Giving a speech in a small, but crowded bar. The way he exposed his thoughts, his principles. I shall never forget it. I cried, Mr. Sato. Tears, rolling down my face. Truth had found me. _Benders_ were responsible for all the pain and cruelty in the world. I knew. And this man, Amon, I would pledge my life to. I renounced my name, my past. And became his Lieutenant."

A great sadness seeped into me. A longing for old days.  
"Yours is a tragic story," Mr. Sato said. "Thank you for sharing it with me."  
"It pains me greatly to see my leader falter. Betray the spirits who blessed him with such power."  
"I can hardly it understand it myself."  
"Tonight, we are drawing the first card. All these weeks of preparation. Gathering men, weapons. Nothing, if you had not offered us your help. We are growing in numbers, Mr. Sato. And to have you on our side, providing us with the necessary means to accomplish our goals..."  
"Say no more," Mr. Sato waved dismissively. "I only wish for the success of this Revolution."  
"So do I. Indeed, so do I."  
"I should get off at the next stop. Wait a while before you do the same. But won't wait until you've reached Grand Central Station. The place reeks with the smell of the Triads."  
"Whatever's _left_ of them," I spat.  
Sato rose, picking up his umbrella, which he'd placed beside him.  
"What of this lone vigilante the papers have been talking about? Was she the one who got me out of prison?" he asked.  
"I think so, though I don't know who she is just yet."  
"She's been breaking into police stations and detention centers, freeing all non-benders Tarrlok's team arrests after rallies. And rallies have been multiplying, have they not? Initiated and lead by citizens. As a form of defiance. I am so proud of our fellow Equalists."  
"Yes. So am I. Except those who stubbornly hang on to Amon, and do not see that he has been corrupted."  
"This vigilante is one of us. She wears an Equalist uniform and protects non-benders. Just the other day, I heard she saved a woman from a gang of bender thugs who did a hold-up at a liquor store."  
"I heard about it too. But I do not like that she has set out to do things alone. Vigilantes are not the solution. Radical, collective action must be taken against our oppressors."  
Mr. Sato did not respond. He did not seem to have made his mind up quite yet.  
"One last thing before you leave, Mr. Sato," I said as he left his seat. "Tell me, are you quite safe in your current hideout?"  
"Yes, Lieutenant, quite safe indeed. You need not worry about me. Living at the headquarters would have been much riskier, don't you agree?"  
"You're right. Well, Goodbye, Mr. Sato."  
The train slowed down as he made his way through the narrow alley.  
"Goodbye, Lieutenant," he replied.

* * *

When I arrived home, Sato's daughter greeted me in the corridor. She'd been leaning against the wall, arms crossed. At first I was startled by her presence. I recalled the night where Amon had waited for me in the same spot. But then, as the girl began to speak, I grew angry.

"I've been waiting for you," she said.  
"What do you want?"  
"I need to speak to you. I... I have a favour to ask."  
" _A favour?_ "  
"Don't sound so outraged. Listen to me. I want you to teach me how to chi block, Lieutenant."  
I walked passed her, scoffing.  
"I'm serious," she insisted. "Will you?"  
"Why are you asking _me_? You could ask anyone else here."  
"Yes, but you are the best, and I want to _learn_ from the best."  
"Amon is far more skilled than I am."  
"I don't want Amon to teach me anything. There is an... occult, dark nature to his powers. I... I fear it. I won't ask him, _no_."  
I glanced over at her. She shook her head, and for a moment, she seemed lost, absent.  
"Why do you want to learn chi blocking, anyway? You're not one of us," I said.  
"Teach me. Please."  
My patience vanished, like passing rain clouds chased by the wind. I turned to face her.  
"What makes you think for one second that I would ever teach _Amon's whore?_ "  
She slapped me across the face.  
"Don't call me that."  
"It's what you are."  
"You don't know anything about me."  
"Leave me alone," I replied, heading for the staircase.  
"I wish to serve the Revolution," she declared.  
I turned around once again, in disbelief.  
"You are lying."  
"I'm a non-bender, like you. Help me, Lieutenant. Help me stand a change against them."  
I could hardly trust her, yet an idea made me reconsider. What if _I_ were to convert Amon's whore? Amon had been unsuccessful, but if I could have her on my side, it would prove to him that he had failed as a leader. That he had strayed, let the flame die. Then perhaps would he see that I was only respecting his original wishes. That I was simply keeping the fire alive.  
"Come see me tomorrow, noon," I said, climbing the stairs. "And don't be late."

* * *

_"Yesterday evening, around six o'clock, a probending match was the target of what appears to have been the first major Equalist terror assault in Republic City. Explosives were planted in a section of the crowd, as well as under the stage, where the Fire Ferrets and the Black Shirshus were facing each other in a preliminary match. No word yet as to the exact number of casualties, but sources tell us that at least ten people have died. The Avatar and her team suffered minor injuries, and Councilman Tarrlok has vowed that the perpetrators of this heinous crime would be arrested and tried. Additionally, he has demanded that a state of war be officially declared in Republic City..."_

In a war, is it right to carry on with amusement and laughter?  
To applaud the very source of the oppression of thousands?  
To gawk at the enemy's skills with envy and admiration?  
To pretend that there is no uprising in the city, no voices crying out for justice?

No, they had not played by the rules.  
I watched the fire rise, and breathed in the scent of impending victory.

A night of rice liquor, and arguments to quiet the guilty conscience.


	34. Mortals

[POV: Amon]

He strode in circles across the training room, following the sequence of steps of a lethal dance.  
The dance of the warrior.

The shuffle of his feet on the cold floor and the sound of his breath echoed through my head as in a dream. Oh, each passing day made the outside world seem a little less real to me. I found comfort in the Inner realm, where the wind blew steady over the wasteland and the clouds never faded.

I grabbed a practice _jian_ and spread my legs far apart to balance my body. The Lieutenant did not notice me, so absorbed was he by his routine. He spun around with his wooden khali sticks, spun and spun until our weapons finally intersected. I had blocked his attack, revealing my presence.

"I've always admired your agility," I said, looking him in the eye.  
He backed away, panting. His chest was humid and his wet hair fell over his forehead.  
"And I yours," he replied.  
We switched sides, walking around each other in silence.  
When he saw his opportunity to engage, he struck. I parried the blow with my sword, holding it up over my face.  
"What can I do for you, _my leader?_ " he said.  
"You've been training all day."  
"Yes. But not just me."  
He attacked again. I defended myself while we got closer and closer to the wall.  
"I've been training Sato's daughter, too. She was here around noon. I'm showing her how to chiblock. She left just about an hour ago. She's almost got it, you know. With a little practice on her own..."  
I spun and charged. He dodged my assault.  
"She'll be a real chiblocker."  
 _Asami asked him to train her?_  
"And the best part?" he continued.  
Our wooden weapons thumped as they touched again and again.  
"She's a prodigy, like me. I've never seen anyone catch on so quickly."  
"Why did she ask you to train her?"  
"Because she _trusts_ me."  
With one of his sticks, he struck at my leg. It stabbed with pain, and I stumbled.

"Listen to me, Lieutenant," I said, recovering. "I have something to tell you."  
"And what would that be?"  
"I know what you did. The terrorist assault at the probending game. You orchestrated it, didn't you?"  
He stood up straight, abandoning his fighting stance. A smirk crossed his face.  
"How did you know?" he said.  
"Intuition. You reek of mutiny."  
We circled each other again to switch sides. He twirled his sticks back and over his head with a menacing glare. I spun my own sword and engaged.  
He received a blow to the stomach, and groaned. While he was bent over in agony, I struck him behind the neck.  
"It's been three days, Lieutenant. Three days since you murdered all those people, and for _what?_ To have this city label us as _terrorists?_ I waited. I waited for you to leave, gave you a chance to do so with honour. To take your men with you, your fellow traitors, and join your rebel faction. But you stayed on. You are either a coward or a hypocrite. You're still here under this very roof, training in the same room that I train in. I, the leader you've betrayed."

He regained his composure and attacked me with full force. I sidestepped and blocked his strikes, but he managed to corner me against the wall. He held one of his wooden khali sticks close to my throat, pushing against my sword.  
"I haven't betrayed you. You've betrayed _yourself_. Remember that day, in Master Guiren's town, when we sent those lanterns onto the river and yours died? How I hurried to put out mine as well, but you stopped me? You told me not to do it. I understood. You meant that if the fire of the Revolution should ever die, that it would be up to me to carry it on. That's what I'm doing. The flame has faded in your heart, Amon."  
I thrust him back, screaming with exertion.  
"You are a fool!" I said. "That is not what I meant!"  
He charged again.  
"I will keep the fire alive, my leader!"  
I sprang, eluding him.  
"Lieutenant, when I forbade you to kill your lantern, I meant that you should never give up your life for me."  
 _I could never deserve it. The life of a man for that of a monster._  
Stepping back, he blinked, as though he had been struck by lightning.  
His eyes widened, then narrowed with defiance.  
"Liar," he spat.

My hands tightened around the sword.  
"I have made many mistakes, Lieutenant. I will never forgive myself for what I have done to you. But the choices you make from now on are your own."  
We both engaged, and met in the middle. Our weapons intersected once more, his sticks pushing against my sword as I leaned in to whisper in his ear.  
"I will no longer pretend to believe I can reason with you. Convince you that what you have done is wrong. I have come here today to ask only that you have the decency to _leave_."  
He was panting, but suddenly held his breath.  
"You are no longer an Equalist," I declared. "I don't know what you are, you and your dissenters. But I am not your leader. And you are not my Lieutenant. Never show your face to me again."  
Spinning around, I placed a final blow, hitting one of his pressure points and causing him to fall.  
 _I should kick you in the face and carve your old name on your forehead._  
Something within me stirred, shrieked, burned like _fire_.  
 _Chaos in motion._  
But I held back the urge for punishment, for it was now too late to correct him.

The wooden sword clanked as it hit the floor, released from my grasp.  
Without saying another word, I walked away.

I was so weary of mortals.

* * *

Evening fell over me like a shroud. It covered my face like the linen bands that had once been wrapped around my searing scars.  
Each night would embalm me, and silently prepare me for the agelessness to come.

I took off my tunic to let the growing darkness enfold me. I held my mask in my hand and looked down upon the red circle. The colours of the day had not yet died. A rush of wind came through the window, bringing the smell of rain into my room.

There was knock on the door.  
"Come in," I said, wondering for a moment if the Lieutenant had returned.

 _"Amon?"_  
Her voice was a murmur, nothing more than a passing tide.  
I did not move.  
Allowing her to see the scars on my back.

"Who... who did this to you?" she asked, instead of telling me the reason for her visit.  
I traced the contour of the circle with my thumb.  
"Was it the firebender who..."  
"No, Asami," I cut in. "These scars are self-inflicted."  
"Self-inflicted?"  
"They are fair punishment for a crime I swore never to commit again. What are you doing here, child?"

The sound of her footsteps drew nearer.  
I felt her hands on my skin. It made me shiver.  
"You didn't deserve this... _Nobody_ deserves this," she said, feeling my scars.  
"Oh, but I did. I deserved every inch of it. I deserved _more_ , but it was all that my weak body could take."  
She rested her head against my back.  
"Don't touch me," I begged.  
"I wish I could take all your scars upon me."  
"Don't say such a thing, Asami."  
"You don't believe me?"  
"You don't mean it. And even if you did, I wouldn't let you."  
 _Why?_  
"Amon," she began, "I'm going to reclaim possession of my father's property. There are many things that I must do. The time has come for me to go."  
Her fingers reached around my waist, beckoning me.  
"Please turn around," she pleaded.  
"No."  
"I have already seen your face, you don't need to be ashamed of it."  
"Beauty should not stare into ugliness. I will not subject you to it again. Your mind is too pure."  
"My mind?"  
 _I have visited it again and again, without your permission._  
"Your mind is a peaceful garden. There is a lake where lotus flowers bloom. A delicate sorrow floats in the air, like mist."  
Asami tightened her arms around me.  
"Please look at me."

Slowly, I turned.  
I soon found myself following the curve of her neck with my fingers.  
There was a stirring in my loins.  
A voice - my own - speaking to me.  
 _Take her. It's what you wanted from the start._  
My blood boiled and my body ached with desire. It demanded I give in.  
I saw myself falling into her, consuming her, _strangling_ her.  
 _Your ideals, your rules. What do they matter now? All is lost._  
"So you wish to play with fire?" I sneered.  
With my hands, I explored her body, undid her silk blouse.  
She reached for my face, pulling it towards hers.

Our kiss felt sickening, grotesque.  
 _You have no lips to kiss her with._  
I pulled away, but she tugged me back.  
She kissed my chin, my eyelids, my forehead, as though she were defying me.  
Trying to prove that it did not matter to her.  
 _Give in._  
Steadily, I lead her onto my bed.  
 _I do not want this. My body wants this._  
"You, and nobody else," she said, staring into me. "Let me remember you."  
 _No, I do not want this._  
I leaned over her, pinning her down.  
 _What is this fire in my innards?_  
I kissed her, digging my face into the soft, warm flesh of her chest.  
 _A slave, I am a slave. My body belongs to the spirits, as it belongs to these earthly passions._

_But is there no strength left in me?_

I stopped.  
 _Is there no strength left in me?_  
Slowly, I began to withdraw. She questioned me with her eyes.  
 _No, I will not allow this. I am no longer a mortal._  
"Do not waste yourself on me, Morning Beauty," I whispered, gently stroking her face.

I sat up on the bed. Confused, she joined me, slipping her hand under mine.  
I turned my face to the side, avoiding her insistent gaze.  
"Why do you hate yourself so much?"  
I remained silent.  
"Promise me that I will see you again," she said.  
"I cannot do such a thing. It is not up to me," I replied.  
"Just once, before all this is over."  
Did she know? Did she believe what the Lieutenant wouldn't believe about me?  
"Forgive me, child."  
She rose, letting go of my hand.  
"What I do, Amon, I also do for you," she said. "Never forget that."

I watched her one last time before she faded into the night.  
I did not know what she had meant, but had not cared to ask.  
Sitting on the floor, I sank into deep meditation.

My spirit longed to be released from the idle tribulations of men.


	35. Plea

[POV: Amon]

_How fragile the human soul_   
_so easily marked by mortal wounds_   
_A boy wanders in foreign lands_   
_his past turned to ashes_   
_and his heart still in flames_

_No one there to guide him_   
_remove the cloth and lick his scars_   
_tell him all is well, when all is lost_   
_The choice of exile_   
_over precarious sympathy_

_He kisses the shadows_   
_the mist, the haze_   
_He begs at the feet of mountains_   
_and sleeps in dead river beds_   
_His face is gone_   
_gone, like the night stars_   
_who yield to the fire of the sun_

* * *

I stepped into the cold water, gasping as my hands tightened around the rope that passed over my shoulder. The sun rose behind me in the distance while I pulled the boat towards the shore, my body submerged to the waist. Small waves rushed against me with agitated curiosity: the arrival of an intruder.

As I advanced, my sleepless mind erred into a waking dream. I had become my own psychopomp. A Guard of Impermanence, leading my own spirit into the Underworld.

But was I the White Guard, or the _Black_ Guard?

Ahead, the island had faded into an endless river. Lamentations echoed in the sky above it; cries of contrition and supplications for mercy. I carried on, accepting the vision as though it were real, until I heard the sound of my boat scraping against the dirt.  
Looking down at my feet, I awoke from my daze, realizing that I had reached the land.

* * *

He sat in the pavilion that overlooked the sea. Eyes closed and back straightened, he held his fists close together, the arrows on his hands connecting over his center. Pointing to the Inner Realm.

The Air Nomad was meditating alone.

Quietly, I drew near, but Tenzin was quick to sense me.  
"What are you doing here, Amon?" he asked, seemingly unmoved.  
I sat before him, also adopting the lotus pose.  
"I have come to speak to the Avatar."  
"I won't let you hurt her," he warned.  
"It is not my intention."  
"There is a great evil in you. And you have brought it to this holy place."  
A dagger, piercing my soul.  
"Forgive me, I had no choice."  
"You say that you cure us of our impurity, and yet look at you. Look what is inside of you. I feel it now."  
"There is evil in you as well, Tenzin. Your air bending is a stain. But you are no ordinary man."  
"Neither are you."  
"Where is the Avatar? Why is she not here, meditating with you?" I asked.  
He opened his eyes.  
"I want you to leave, Amon."  
"Let me speak to her."  
"Why?"  
"Let me _plead_ with her."

Tenzin stared at me in disbelief. Suddenly, he rose, the wind filling his robe and cloak like sails.  
"It would be useless for you to Equalize her, Amon. She is protected by the Avatars of the past. They will restore her powers, let it be clear."  
"You know this, and yet you have not told her. She is afraid of me."  
He hung his head.  
"I know," he whispered. "It is for her own good. I need her to take this seriously, to become whole, to become who she really is. An Avatar who cannot master the four elements is no true Avatar yet. Air is the element of freedom. Her mind and spirit are not free."  
"Because she is too consumed with worldly matters. Like training her body, instead of her mind."  
"Is that why you chose to bombard the pro-bending game she took part in? To show your discontent with her lack of spirituality?"  
I sighed, rising as well.  
"No, Tenzin. That was done against my knowledge, and against my will. Remember, I have spoken openly about my objection to the murder of benders. But I in turn could ask why you let someone like Tarrlok become head of council."  
He turned away.  
"That was done against _my_ will. I opposed it with every fiber of my being, but I was overruled."  
"Can you see how it feels? Non-benders have been overruled for _centuries_."  
I paused. This was no time to begin an argument.  
"I simply wish to speak to her, Tenzin," I said. "And I must do it _now_ , before it is too late."

"Very well," he replied after a brief moment of reflection. "I will take you to her. But if you dare try to hurt her, I will face you. I don't care what you do to me. Take my bending, it would not matter to me."  
I smiled in secret behind my mask.  
"That is why it is useless for me to take your bending away, Air Nomad. You are detached; you already hold the value of your spirit far above that of your bending, and act accordingly. Though you are greatly mistaken in teaching your own children to develop their curse. Not all mortals are like you."  
"How I choose to raise my children is of no concern to you," he muttered.  
Tenzin turned to face me again, then walked passed me.  
"Follow me," he said, and took me to the Avatar.

What a sad spectacle it was that greeted us then. Wooden gates on fire, spinning aimlessly and crumbling to ashes. A child, throwing columns of fire and destroying everything in a fit of rage.

"Korra!" Tenzin cried, seeing what she was doing.  
The Avatar halted, eyes widened first with surprise, then with fear.  
Her gaze met mine.  
"Amon?"  
She sprang out and landed before us in a fighting stance.  
"What is _he_ doing here? Tenzin, what's going on?"  
Tenzin held out his hands.  
"Settle down, Korra. He has come to speak to you."  
"Speak to me? I won't speak to this monster, this... murderer! He's - "  
The master interrupted his student.  
"What have you done, Korra? Do you know how invaluable those wooden gates were?"  
"I... I'm sorry... These early morning sessions... I can't do it anymore, Tenzin, I..."  
Glancing over at me again, she lost her patience.  
"Why is he here? Are you alright, Tenzin? Did he... equalize you?"  
There was an unexpected softness in her tone.  
"No, Korra. He did not. He wants to speak to you, and I think you should lend him your ear. I'm right here, Korra. I won't leave you."  
Folding his arms, he stepped back, waiting.  
She stood up straight, fists curled.  
"I'm listening," she said.

I began to speak.  
"The day of the Solstice is fast approaching, Avatar. In less than a week, I will bring destruction and chaos to the mortal realm. The evil spirits that gave me my powers will enter this world. Understand me: they are enemies far greater than anyone has ever known. I want you to embrace your responsibilities. I want you to stop them, Avatar. You are an old, powerful soul. You can travel to the Spirit World. Go there, find a way to impeach them. Speak to the other spirits. Plead with them, as I plead with you."  
I inclined my head and put a hand over my chest.  
 _How I despise this being. This so-called 'master' of the elements._  
"And I _beg_ you, Avatar. If the mortal realm survives the days that are ahead, please, bring _true_ balance into the world. Heed to the cries of suffering of the oppressed. Awake from the blindness caused by your bending. I believed I could do it all myself, but I have failed. I was used, and I cannot bear to think that I have cast a shadow over my cause. You, too, have the power to take away bending. Power far above mine. Use it to purify this world."  
Lifting my gaze onto her, I saw her frowning.  
No words came out of her mouth. Her face was frozen in a foolish expression of wonder.  
"You have wasted enough time," I pursued. "You must work to reach your enlightm - "  
"Stop it!" she cried, cutting in. "My bending is no blindness. The world does not need to be purified from bending. You are wrong, Amon."  
 _Oh, has she heard nothing of what I have said?_  
She stepped forward menacingly, ready to fight.  
Tenzin promptly put himself between us.  
"No, Korra. Not yet. Suppress your anger," he urged her.  
"And what have you done to Asami, you monster?"  
I remembered our ridiculous kiss; the sweet, exquisite, _vile_ taste of it.  
"She's an Equalist now, isn't she?" she continued, shouting at me.  
It was no use. The Avatar's spirit could not hear mine.  
"Look deep within you," I said, ready to leave. "Focus on the Inner Realm, and find yourself again."

I finally disappeared into the gathering fog, the smell of burnt wood stalking me until the shore and filling my mind with unwanted memories.

* * *

_Mr. Sato,_

_My days are numbered. I write to you now, in the knowledge that I will not likely have another opportunity to do so. I have received and read your last letter, but could not immediately reply. I hope you will forgive me. I am glad your daughter has managed to reclaim your property, and regret not having been able to convert her. She would have been a precious ally to our cause._

_Too many unfortunate things have happened since I dismissed the Lieutenant. His attacks on the city have multiplied. I do not know the identity of his allies, but judging by the costly nature of his schemes, they must be powerful. In these past few weeks, I have continued to equalize as many benders as possible, whilst ensuring the propagation of our True Ideals - not the ones promulgated by the Lieutenant and his rebel faction._

_Meanwhile, as you pointed out yourself, our new head of Council has become more zealous than ever. Each day, he brings forth new policies to oppress non-benders, yet few seem to have the courage to oppose him. People are afraid of him. But I am partly to blame for his attitude. There is something that I must tell you, something which I have long withheld. Two months ago, I broke into Tarrlok's office, and equalized him. I hoped it would stop him, pull him closer to the struggles of the oppressed. But it seems the evil in him is rooted more deeply than I thought. Taking away his bending seems to have thrown him into complete madness. His hatred is stronger than ever before. And he leads his followers on, making them believe he is still a bender._

_Mr. Sato, there is another thing that I must share with you. In my despair, I sailed to Air Temple Island this morning. I spoke to the Avatar and asked her to intervene, to save the mortal realm. She is, after all, its most powerful being. I have also asked her to bring true balance to the world. I know that you would disagree with what I have done, that you doubt me, but believe me when I say that I can see no other way. Unfortunately, the spirit of the Avatar is buried too deep inside this reincarnation. After I made my plea, it soon became clear to me that my words had fallen on deaf ears._

_I do not know what lies ahead. At present, there is only one tragedy that truly plagues my heart. It is the greatest of them all: to know that the suffering of the oppressed could one day be invalidated because it was once exploited by evil spirits. I do not want to be remembered as the monster who brought chaos into this world. Should mortals survive what is to come, I hope that at least some of them will keep my words in their hearts, and stand tall above the tyranny of benders. It is the legacy I wish to leave behind._

_Your grateful leader,_

_Amon_


	36. Bhikkhu

[POV: Amon]

His fist was a hammer, pounding on the temple doors.  
It struck. And paused. And struck. And paused.  
It found my heartbeat; defied it, embraced it. Became one with it.  
I opened my eyes.  
The blind monk put a hand on my shoulder. "Stay here," he said, leaving to greet whomever had arrived.  
A few moments later, I heard the shuffle of feet and a familiar voice calling my name.  
"Amon! I have found you at last!"

Turning around, I saw Hiroshi Sato standing before me. And in an instant, I knew.  
I did not rise to greet him, but instead turned back to face the shrine.  
"I should have thought of coming here first," Sato mused.  
"Why are you here?" I asked.  
He hesitated. Chose his words.  
"My leader, I must speak to you. I can no longer keep this from you. I have made a terrible mistake."  
I gazed at the candles, the bright glow of their steady flames.  
The confession came out of him like a torrent.  
"For weeks, I have been aiding the Lieutenant and his faction. Not only have I helped them in their acts of terrorism, but I have also been plotting with the Lieutenant behind your back. To my great shame, I have pretended to be loyal to you, only to better serve my own interests. You see, I was never fully convinced that the Lieutenant's path is the one the Equalists should follow. But I found that my faith in you had also faltered. So I resolved to serve two masters, adopting the ways of the hypocrite."  
 _Mortals. Their will is weak; their loyalty, transient._  
"Why do you tell me all this, Mr. Sato? To ease your conscience?"  
"No," he whimpered. "No, I am here, because I don't know what else to do but to ask for your help. I spoke to the Lieutenant this morning. Tomorrow, he wants to launch an attack on the entire city. His first target will be the Council..."  
"How would such a thing be accomplished?"  
"I... I've been designing new machines, Amon. Air ships. With them, he wants to bombard Republic City, set it on fire. He wants to drive out all benders, so that the Equalists may take control."  
"It is madness."  
"It is a plan that I approved of. But only because I thought that, somehow, the innocent would be spared. I gave his faction full access to my backup weapons factory, just outside the city. But this morning, he revealed his true intentions to me. When I asked him how we would proceed to save our own kind, what would happen to the non-benders that would be caught in the crossfire, he said that in a war like this..."  
He stopped, trying to compose himself.  
"That in a war like this, collateral damage is inevitable. That those who will not survive will serve as sacrifice, in the name of _victory_..."  
I sat still, as in meditation. What was there to say?  
Sato placed himself in front of me, demanding a reaction. Feeling lonely in his anguish.  
"Will you do nothing about it, my leader?" he cried. "You must, you simply must. I cannot stop them now, it is too late. But perhaps if you... if you spoke to them, or..."  
The monk seized him.  
"This is a temple. Do not raise your voice in here," he said.  
"Amon, listen to me. Will you do nothing?"  
He struggled to free himself from the monk's grasp.  
"Please, forgive me, my leader. Save us, save us all!"  
 _He deifies me now, as the Lieutenant once did. But out of hopelessness._  
"You must leave," the monk urged him.  
" _Amon!_ Say something! Answer me! Will you do nothing?"

I suddenly removed my mask, showing him my scars. Stunned, he brought his hand over his mouth.  
"Look at me, Mr. Sato," I said. "Is this the face of your saviour? The farce has run its course. Tomorrow, this city will _burn_."  
Pulled away by the monk, Sato continued to shout through the courtyard, until I heard the doors close and finally shut him out.  
 _The deafening noise of this realm. How it obscures divine thought._  
I could barely swallow. Betrayal parched my throat, felt so hot in my lungs.

The monk walked back inside. He dragged a stool to the middle of the room and invited me to sit down.  
"Let us begin," he said, and I rose.

* * *

The blade slipped, cutting my scalp. I squeezed my eyes shut. A thread of warm blood streamed down my forehead. The blind monk apologized. My hair had not grown very long, but for a man in his condition, it made no difference. It was difficult for him to shave my head all by himself. We were alone. No other monk could hear of this ceremony. It was far too irregular. It had been granted to me out of compassion, but also, out of personal belief in my merit.

When the first step was completed, I got rid of my war clothes, put my mask aside. I approached the monk with a set of robes in my hands. I had requested that they be dark gray. I bowed three times, then handed them over. I recited the prescribed passage, and he carefully helped me put on the robes.  
The inner robe.  
The upper robe.  
The outer robe.  
I felt the incensed fabric wrap around my body, covering my mortal flesh. Covering the signs of my self-loathing.  
I asked for my ordination as a novice, took the three refuges. Guided by the monk, I spoke the ten precepts, as was required.  
The monk became my preceptor, but he did not give me a new name. Rather, he only declared it as such.  
My name, which I had given up to the spirits, was renewed.  
I claimed it back.  
 _Amon._

Then, the higher ordination began.  
For my preceptor found me worthy.  
His voice echoed through the temple as he spoke. It was both a whisper and a roar.  
I stood up with my palms together, answered all his questions.  
 _Are you a human being?_  
Are you a man?  
Are you a free man?  
"Yes, Venerable Sir," I declared.  
I was free, for the chains that rattled around me were not chains of the mind.

The monk retreated to examine my case. I waited anxiously. When he came back, he told me:  
"Now is the time, Amon, to request the Sangha to ordain you a bhikkhu."  
My heart soared. I approached, bowed three times, kneeled with my hands together.  
 _"Sangham Bhante upsampadam yacami._  
Ullumpatu mam bhante Sangho anukampam upadaya.  
Dutiyampi Sangham bhante..."  
My father had once told me that a man is free in the way he chooses to face his fate.  
That he can stand with his head up high, even before Death.

That is why he was quiet as the savage fire devoured him.  
And that is why I refused to give the evil spirits the body of an unholy man.  
"Venerable Sir," I spoke, "I respectfully request the Sangha to ordain me a bhikkhu."

No questions from an assembly, no obstacles. Only silence. Acceptance.  
My preceptor spoke one last time.  
 _Behold, I am changing myself, before they change me._  
 _My own transformation, before that of the spirits._  
Stillness. I finally looked up, and exhaled.  
I had become a bhikkhu.

 _What is the cause of all suffering in the world?_  
The old monk bowed respectfully before the new monk.  
"Your life, from now on, aims to achieve liberation from suffering. Whether it is your own, or the world's," he said, handing me back my mask and getting ready to sound the bell gong in my honour.

* * *

That evening, I kept a promise I had never truly made.  
Leaning through her window, I looked upon her.  
A strange flicker in her eyes. Of both fear and desire.  
"You... you've come after all," Asami said.  
My robes fluttered about me in the wind. I pulled the cloth further over my head.  
For the first time in years, I felt serene, untroubled. There was such warmth in my soul.  
"What are you wearing?"  
I did not reply. I stared at her for a short while, then broke the silence.  
"You said you wanted to see me one last time", I said, preparing to vault over.  
 _I can feel them, drawing nearer with the night._  
"But I think it is rather I who needed to see you again, Morning Beauty."


	37. Black Dragon

[POV: Amon]

_He floats amongst the stars_   
_reflected on the ocean of time_   
_He extends his arms, drifting_   
_shores growing further apart_

_Oh, to have never tasted the fire_   
_or smelt the fragrance of murder_

_Regrets now silenced_

_So slowly he fades_   
_transcending, surpassing_   
_heeding to the voices inside him_

* * *

The realms had not yet aligned.  
I was pulled out of meditation by what seemed to me then like the rumbling of thunder. The earth beneath me trembled, the temple shuddered. Standing up, I looked at my hands, examined my skin. I was no different from the day before.  
I had been in prayer all night, and had expected the morning to bring my mortal body destruction.

But instead, it had brought destruction to the _city_.

Desperate cries arose outside. I walked out into the courtyard, and saw that part of the wall surrounding it was obliterated. My eyes met the blind monk's. Two white orbs, forever stunned and riveted upon me.  
Transfixed, I observed him. He held a teapot in his hand, as though he's been about to offer it to me. There was such elegance in his posture. Such horror in its motionlessness. A single moment in time, a fragment. Shattered as the monk coughed.

Black blood flowed out of his mouth, lingered on his chin, stained the bright orange robe. I walked towards him as he sank. Reaching out, I let him fall into my arms. His back was riddled by shrapnel. How humid my palms were; I was smeared in his blood. It was on my fingers, on my hands, on my chest.  
"Death is not to be feared by someone who has lived wisely," I declared, patiently waiting for his last breath.  
I held him against me, until life withdrew from his body and his spirit entered the state of trance. Placing him on the ground, I begged him to forgive me for not being able to remain and chant him through the beginning of his voyage.

The heat of the fire on the street was vicious. People ran in circles, utterly incapable of finding an appropriate response to what had just happened. I covered my head with my scarf, then made my way through the ruins unseen. Radio transmissions emerged from every shop, every home, and filled the air with frantic noise.

 _"...Equalists launching an elaborate assault..."_  
"...simultaneously hitting multiple targets, some apparently random, others..."  
"...while citizens are encouraged to-to-to evacuate and remain calm as the police..."  
"...moment, benders are discouraged to intervene, as it could lead to more widespread panic..."  
"...yes, yes, I was told, I was told that commercial streets were hit as well, not just..."  
"...reports remain unconfirmed, but it seems the Council was..."  
"...leveled, all of it, gone, a gaping hole in the middle of the city..."

I breathed in the smoke that lined the boulevards.  
 _Oh, what have you done, Lieutenant?  
What have I done?_

 _"...Councilman Tarrlok reported dead..."_  
"...how dare they spread these lies, he is alive, he was not..."  
"...reports remain unconfirmed as to Councilman Tarrlok's death..."  
"...this is sensationalism, there is no proof, no valid..."  
"...dead, he is dead, along with all the other council members..."  
"...no, no, Councilman Tenzin remains at Air Temple..."

Above, in the sky, air ships cast their large shadows on the ground. I stopped to observe them as they passed over my head like vultures. A man shoved me aside.  
"Get out of the way, monk!" he barked, disappearing into the crowd.

 _"...Avatar Korra will surely..."_  
"...false idols whom we believe to be the solution to all our..."  
"...it was inevitable, inevitable given the fact that..."  
"...Equality for all, the dream many have..."  
"...because Amon has always..."  
"...Amon, what of Amon? Amon has not spoken, he..."  
"...awaiting some kind of-of declaration from the Equalist leader..."  
"...movement is severed, interneal conflict..."  
"...Equalists must unite..."  
"...Benders must unite..."

Metalbenders marched into the streets in a belated effort to defend the city. They were everywhere, swarming like rats. Weaving and unweaving steel wires, climbing and descending every wall. How little they had expected non-benders to pose such a threat. How fatally they had underestimated the despair of the persecuted.  
In the distance, a new salvo of explosions made the earth resonate. Bombs fell like hot rain. I took shelter inside a herbalist shop, shut the door behind me.

_Why are you afraid?  
You shouldn't be afraid._

I turned around. A man and his wife, who had both been hiding behind the counter, emerged. The woman exclaimed at the sight of me.

"My leader, is that you?" she cried.  
Equalists.  
Before I could react, she threw herself on the ground before me. Her husband followed her.  
"Lead us!" they howled.  
 _Death is not to be feared by someone who has lived wisely.  
You have not lived wisely._  
"What is happening, my leader?"  
Silence.  
"How can we serve the Revolution? Do you want our lives?"  
"No," I finally blurted out.  
They noticed the monk's blood on my robe and hands.  
"You are hurt," the woman said, almost in disappointment.  
 _Why do mortals put so much faith in men?_  
Can they not see their own flaws?  
"I must leave," I replied, scrambling to open the door.  
"My leader, do not abandon us!"  
I held still. Faced them once again.  
"Stand up," I said. "No more kneeling."  
They obeyed, longing for my guidance.  
"Hold your heads up high before your oppressors," I said. "Do not abandon yourselves."  
It was all I could offer them before heading back onto the street.

Outside, a siren blared in my ears. The city was in an uproar. In its panic, the city was imploding upon itself, picking at its own wounds, tearing its own heart out, digging its eyes out with its nails.

Suddenly, a voice echoed through the skies. The animalistic cries of the wounded almost subsided, as though pain had been chased away by curiosity.

"Non-benders of Republic City, the time has come to end the reign of benders once and for all."

The deep, cavernous tone of the Lieutenant. I recognized it immediately. Airships diffused his words throughout the streets, made them ubiquitous.

"I am Amon's former Lieutenant. I have seized the reins of the Revolution, for our leader has failed us all. He has betrayed us. He became weak when we needed him to be unflinching. I am now the carrier of the flame, and I seek your help, my brothers and sisters, so that together, we may keep the fire alive. Right now, I am hovering above the ruins of what used to be the greatest symbol of oppression in the city. From my airship, I can see the fragments of an era that is soon to become history. Join us, my brothers and sisters, and unite against the tyranny of benders. Those of you who still choose to blindly follow Amon are merely pawns on the chessboard. Do not follow out of obedience, but open your eyes and take arms against our enemies."

I began to head for the Council.

"Benders of Republic City, today, we claim what is rightfully ours. Your only option is to flee. We will drive you out, rip you out of this city. There is no place in the world for you anymore. Leave, or you _will_ be killed. We are prepared to die for our cause. We will not back down. We will not stop until you are all gone. If we have to destroy the entire city, then so be it. But know that you shall no longer live in it. Too long have you poisoned its streets and filled it with your corruption."

Amidst the fire, an Earthbender chased a man by hurling rocks at him.  
"Die, Equalist scum!" he screamed, stumbling.  
I stepped forward.  
"Stop it," I ordered him.  
He glared at me, full of ferocity, then the rocks came flying towards me.  
I eluded them, treading softly and spiraling around them.  
Above, the speech continued.

"Fight your oppressors, my brothers and sisters. Do not show them any mercy, for _they_ have never show _us_ any. We will attack again, and again, and again. Victory is at hand. Today we are all warriors!"

I closed in on the bender, grabbed him by the back of the neck and equalized him. I gently released him, then kept going.

* * *

There was nothing left of the Council. Only rubble, fire, and black smoke billowing from the ground beneath it. I saw the Lieutenant's airship, suspended above the ruins like a red sun.

Now that I had reached my destination, I did not know what to do. Why was I there?

A familiar face looked down upon me. Amidst the flames, my dark figure stood out to him. The Lieutenant held out his arms in a pompous gesture, then spoke into the microphone to address me directly:

"Are you not proud of me, my leader? I am completing your life's work."

The wind filled my robes as it had filled Tenzin's. Embers quivered around me as I contemplated my life's work in silence.  
 _You have not lived wisely._  
I gasped for air. I could not breathe.  
 _But you will not die._  
It was as though my body had been set ablaze from the inside. A rapid succession of voices reverberated through me. I crouched, put my hands over my head, kneeled to the ground, moaned.  
The temple of chaos would be empty no more.

At last, the realms aligned.

A rush, like a white river streaming through me.  
My skin blackened, turned to coal. It smoldered, parts of it glowing like magma.  
I rose. Small fires covered me, consuming my robe with unnatural slowness.  
A current twisted my scarf away, unveiling my head.  
The straps of my mask disintegrated, but the mask itself remained in place, floating before my face.  
 _Vhan lekhtal tem askat, Amon._  
We are bound together now, Amon.  
 _Zekh tet, zekh tet._  
Hold still, hold still.  
Six beings, trapped in a body of eternal fire.

Oh, their thoughts became mine.  
I watched all these mortals struggling to stay alive.  
 _I want them to devour each other, these wretched insects._  
How dare that man disobey me? How dare he, how dare he, how dare he, how dare he?  
I see them, I see them all, crawling all over this realm, their threatening shadows.  
Their blood, I long for it every second of every mortal hour. Let them drown in their own blood.  
There will be no end to their suffering, no end to my suffering, which is their suffering, which is my suffering!

I cast a shock wave before me. Every object and body in its path soared, then rushed back down again.  
The sky darkened as I slowly levitated, my charred feet leaving the ground. There was a blackness around me, shadows shrieking and stirring in an endless cycle.

I had never felt such power before. It was inebriating.  
I could crush the world with my bare hands.  
Crush the oppressors, and crush the oppressed.  
Yet I wanted to see them do it _for_ me.

"Servants," I proclaimed, "I am the night."

Masses gathered below. They gawked at me, terrified by what they did not understand.  
Those who had always thought me a god bowed to me.

"Your true leader."  
There was an echo to my voice, the echo of six beings speaking at once.  
"Non-benders, I summon you. Get rid of this bending plague."  
The hypocrisy. It bore through me like long, rusted nails.  
 _How dare you exploit my cause?  
Finally, I am the monster I was born to be._

My eyes swept over the land, and spread Chaos into the hearts of men.  
I took what was already there, and _expanded it_.  
 _Hatred._  
People damning and cursing each other.  
 _Anger._  
Non-benders, attacking benders, stabbing, biting, beating.  
 _Fear._  
Benders, trampling their own kind.  
 _Bloodlust._  
Murder on the streets.  
 _Insanity._  
Absolute loss of control.

Benders climbed over each other, used their bending to reach the Lieutenant's air ship. I watched them set it on fire, and it pleased me. _It pleased me._ It crumbled as it came crashing down. A paper lantern, drowning in debris.

I drew in the chaos. Absorbed it. Shivered. Black opium, filling my lungs. It eased my pain, steadily relieved me of all my guilt.  
 _Let yourself go._  
I wondered if the Lieutenant was dead. Remembered a time when he was still pure. The day he had stopped on the side of the road to help a tired farmer carry water back home. The modesty, the compassion in his eyes. He had asked for nothing in return for his kindness. And I had corrupted him.  
 _Let yourself go._  
A new wave of euphoria surged through me. Those memories did not matter. Dead, I wished him dead. I hoped that they had torn him apart. Nothing could stop me. This realm was mine, and I would feed upon its anguish forever.

Ah, but there was one mortal who would challenge me.

I finally felt her presence.  
Her spirit was set alight, but was trapped deep within her.  
 _This being is no threat to us._  
No threat to us.  
She wasted no time and sent a tower of fire up towards me. Then, she appeared in front of me on a pillar of stone.

The Avatar had arrived.


	38. Amon

[POV: Amon]

A being of balance, plagued with imbalance.

The Avatar faced me, exuding emotional chaos that hit me in magnificent waves. She was a bird, caught in the savage winds of mortal flaws. Oh, there was hardly any need for me to poison her. I guzzled her rage, her loathing of her enemy, her desire to annihilate, her reckless arrogance, but above all, her _terror._  
"You fear me," I declared, looking into her eyes.  
She appeared stoical, stubbornly maintaining her fighting stance.  
 _How it quivers, this little flame._  
"I am here to end this, Amon," she replied.  
"You have feared me from the beginning. But the shadow in your nightmares is _nothing_ compared to what I am now."  
Her figure momentarily fell out of focus as I glanced at the burning city behind her.  
 _This is not what I wanted.  
Let them feel my pain._  
"I won't let you destroy this city!"  
"This city has destroyed itself. Your people are at war, Avatar."  
"That's because of you! I don't know what you're doing to them, but..."  
"Do you truly think that my actions alone have prompted this? No, this realm was rotting long before my arrival. These are not my armies. These are free men."  
She frowned in anger.  
"Who are you?"  
"I am become the spirit of _Chaos_. And you and I shall forever coexist, for every reincarnation of yours will kneel before me as I take away their bending."  
 _Or their life. Kill this Avatar._  
Finally, she lost control.  
 _"No!"_  
A circle of bright orange flames spun towards me as she screamed. But I redirected her attack with my mind, and the fire split in two, rushing passed me.  
 _I have more power than ever before._  
Undeterred, she summoned the waters from under the ground below and attacked. I was quickly shielded by the shadows surrounding me. After her second failed attempt, she tapped her foot on the pillar of stone that held her high, shattering it. She fell away, and I watched her disappear in a cloud of dust. After a few moments, sharp rocks resurfaced, heading straight for me. I descended right through the deadly inverted rain and the heat of my body melted every stone that came in contact with it.  
My feet soon touched the ground.  
"Fire, Water, Earth," I said, my voice misaligned, hissing like ten thousand serpents. "No element can stop me."

I sent forth a second shock wave, hurling the Avatar into the distance, where she crashed, wailing in pain. The force of the attack dug a crater into the street. She recovered, trying to draw nearer as I stroke her again; wave, after wave, after wave, until she could no longer rise.  
I walked towards her.  
"And what of _Air?_ " I said to the inert body lying at my feet. "You have not yet mastered it, have you, young Avatar? But even if you had, it would not matter."  
Thin, long shadows emerged from me like multiple strings. They wrapped around the Avatar and lifted her up before me.  
"I told you I would destroy you," I said, the shadows contracting, like black whips cutting through her tender skin.  
She screamed, spitting fire at me from her mouth.  
 _I will kill the Avatar._

 _No, I cannot. I have spoken the ten precepts._  
"Panatipata veramani sikkhapadam samadiyami."  
I undertake to abstain from harming or taking life.

The voice of Hatred, whispering through me.  
 _She is the odious god of bending._  
The voice of Anger, screaming in my ears.  
 _Make her pay for what they have done to you!_  
The voice of Fear, burrowing through my heart.  
 _Do not let her reach the Avatar State._  
The voice of Bloodlust, boiling in my veins.  
 _Watch her hot blood drip all over your body._  
The voice of Insanity, tainting my brain.  
 _Finish her off, finish her off, finish her off._

Which were truly my thoughts, and which where theirs?  
 _"Panatipata veramani sikkhapadam samadiyami."  
I undertake to abstain from harming or taking life._  
I released the Avatar. Placed her back upon the ground.  
 _Tahlt zeqt tam alk?  
What are you doing?_  
I grabbed her by the hair to straighten her up, forced her to her knees.  
My hand burned through her brown locks, fumes rising in the air. I seized the back of her neck, and brought the thumb of my right hand on her forehead.  
"Your bending is a sickness," I breathed. "It has made you blind."  
Closing my eyes, I finally cleansed the Avatar of her impurity.  
 _Still so attached to your pathetic ideals._  
In a single, ceremonial motion, I carefully removed my hands and let her collapse before me.

The mortals fighting around us barely reacted, so absorbed were they by their own battles. Ahead, in the debris of the Council, I saw a man emerge, crawling on his hands and knees.  
Could it be?  
I walked in his direction, leaving the broken Avatar behind.  
The Lieutenant was alive.

* * *

At the sight of me, he scrambled to find the knife in his boot. His goggles were cracked; his shattered khali sticks threw erratic sparks in every direction. Blood covered his face, like a painted mask.  
"D-D-Don't come any closer..." he stammered.  
His entire world had fallen apart within a matter of moments.  
Rising weakly, he seemed at a loss to understand who he was addressing.  
"For-forgive my leader...I did not believe you..."  
 _To survive in guilt is absolute punishment._  
"I killed all those people, oh spirits, I..."  
 _Wakened in the middle of a pyre._  
"What have I done? I am mad!" he cried, too suddenly aware of the horrors consuming his life. "Mad! I betrayed my cause, the Revolution. So much blood, so much blood on my hands, for a monster! For _you!_ "  
 _Yes, for me. For us._  
"I do not deserve to live."

Before I could respond, the Lieutenant pressed the tip of his knife against his stomach. All the anger, the hatred, the fear, the bloodlust, the insanity directed upon _himself_.  
"Stop it, Lieutenant," I ordered him.  
He stared into my glowing eyes, and I, into his.  
 _Let him take his own life. Let him do it. Such beautiful inner chaos._  
"Listen to me," I said, securing his gaze. My thumb rested on his forehead and burned his skin.  
 _I am more powerful than ever before.  
You no longer have your own will.  
I now master the arts of the mind.  
You no longer have your own will._  
"You did not kill all those people, Lieutenant..."  
His incredulous gaze.  
"... _I_ have."  
The devastation in his soul.  
"I was never who you thought I was. I lied to you. There was no illumination, no granting of powers. I am a dark spirit, and I do not care for the fate of non-benders."  
"Y-You murdered them, Amon?"  
He dropped his knife.  
"Yes," I replied. "You killed nobody. It was all my doing. Your hands are clean."  
 _We are the ones who granted you the power of hypnosis!  
You are to spread chaos with it. How dare you use it idly?  
How dare you?_  
"But you have served me well, Lieutenant."  
I released him from my gaze, watched the breeze cover the bruise on his forehead with his hair. A red circle on a mask.  
His shoulders slumped and he took off his headgear.  
"You traitor."  
 _I deserve his hatred. I want it._  
"I dedicated my life to you!" he cried, suddenly darting forward with his khali sticks. Shadows surrounded me again, protecting me. Another brutal change of pressure; another shock wave. He flew back, rushing against a wall.

The trustful servant betrayed by his master.  
 _It is the way it should be._

I knew then what awaited my mortal friend. I recalled his words, spoken in a humble whisper.  
 _"A quiet, simple life for an old warrior."_  
He would retreat and heal the wounds of his body, forever crippled by those of the soul.  
But each day, he would look over his rice fields and find peace in the knowledge that he had fought for what he believed in. That he had openly faced his oppressors, despite being lead on by a deceitful murderer whose name he would forever curse. That all would remember the day when non-benders decided that they had had enough. That he had been a part of it all. And that he had remained _unblemished._

* * *

"I am not done with you yet, Amon!"  
The Avatar's threat bore through me like an unexpected arrow, shot from afar. I turned around and saw her on her feet, energy renewed by her pointless determination.  
"And what exactly do you intend to do?" I asked. "You have lost your bending, and have become nothing."  
"I don't know what I'll do, but I won't let you win!"  
Tears filled her eyes as her heartbeat accelerated.

It was then that a vision touched the edges of my mind.  
A fleeting image, passing through the gates of consciousness.  
The Avatar's eyes glowed. In her left hand, five daggers, flaring.  
One for each spirit of Chaos.  
In her right hand, a sixth Phurpa.  
A sixth dagger, for _me._  
All this time, I had wanted to chase away the evil inside me. But it ran in circles, because so did I.

Struggling to resist those who where trying to subjugate me, I marched towards the Avatar as she backed away.  
I fought against the forces tearing me apart and the vicious hunger for chaos.  
 _Amon, ghalt qeth vem tak lalt!  
Amon, you cannot do this!  
Vhan lekhtal tem!  
We are bound together!  
I know._  
"Stay," I said, gazing into her.  
She obeyed, unable to move.  
I began to chant; it gave me strength.  
 _"The doors of the deathless are open, for those who have ears."_  
Meeting my fate, one step at a time.  
 _You claimed that meditation severed me from my body. But I see now that you feared my spiritual strength. My body is nothing. Nothing but a prison._  
My prison, and yours.

The effects of my influence, which I was now repressing, were slowly subsiding. Aggression and violence yielded to horror and lament. As though the self-destruction of the mortals had become apparent to them at last. "This creature is not our leader!" some cried as they beheld me. Others weeped over their own crimes. Republic City was in ashes. There was no reconciliation, no forgiveness, only desolation, extinguishing the vicious flames of war. Crowds gathered to watch the endgame unfold.

 _Enlightenment._ The wound I had left on the Avatar's forehead reminded me of an eye. Placing my thumb over it, I slipped into her mind, reached for the sixth chakra.  
 _"They enter with veneration, devoid of hatred..."_  
An endless field of snow and ice, a bright, windy sky and a mountain rising in the middle. Within it, an eternal being.  
"Awake."

Luminescent eyes and the gathering of a storm.  
The Avatar State, ignited.  
"Take me to the Spirit World," I commanded her.  
 _You cannot do this!_  
Zith kem takt, vohltar.  
Curse you, mortal.  
I am no longer a mortal. We are forever bound together, you and I. I cannot be rid of you, but you cannot be rid of me. You are trapped in this body, and my will is stronger than yours.  
And now, I choose to banish myself from this realm.

"I don't know the way," the Avatar said, a remnant of her mortal self still present.  
But her voice now resembled mine. It was a synthesis of those of all the past Avatars.  
"Yes, you do. Take me there, Avatar. My immortal body can exist in both realms."  
All around us, fire, earth, water, air.  
I wondered if her bending had been restored.  
Finally, she left her body, and I followed her entirely, disappearing through a wall of white light.

* * *

Interminable paths, lined with towering blue trees. Glowing dust, like fireflies traveling in circles. Complete absence of time, only existence. Arcane knowledge, seeping through the fabric of eternity.

_This is where the flame of the candle sleeps._   
_Where the darkness of night waits._   
_Where all that is hidden, is revealed._

As we drew nearer to _Hàlin_ , the sky darkened; it was punctured with insidious stars and lined with perpetual dusk. There were eroded pavilions and red rivers floating in the air. A place of disorder, of instability.  
My abyss, my refuge, my home.

The Avatar stopped, letting me go on alone.  
"If only you knew the suffering of the mortal realm," I said, claiming my place in the Spirit World.  
"I can feel it now."  
"And will you do nothing to ease it, Avatar?"  
"I was not yet ready for my awakening. It was artificial, forced. When I am back there and out of the Avatar State, I will be powerless."  
Ethereal voices, resonating through the realm.  
"But I will earn my bending back once I have made true contact with my inner self."

I sat in the lotus pose, rising above the very center of _Hàlin._ The Avatar faded, dissolving back into the world of mortals, from which I had exiled myself. She would be hailed a hero, a saviour, for she herself would never fully remember what had happened on the day of the Solstice. Had she really taken Amon into the spirit world, or had he forced her to do so? To the eyes of masses, it would not matter. Legend would always build the Avatar into a god, and benders would always be idolized.

Mortals do not deserve the power of bending the elements. To them, the gift becomes a curse, a sickness, because their hearts are impure. I was not a bender, and yet there had been so much evil within me, regardless of the influence of the spirits.

As the solstice ended and the realms drifted apart, I knew the open war was over, but not the silent one raging on in the minds of the persecuted. All cannot be resolved at once. I would no longer be a threat to the mortal realm, but peace would not replace the Revolution. Somehow, after all the promises men make, things always seem to slip back into corruption.

There would always be oppression, violence, cruelty. But now, non-benders would unite, stand up for themselves and show their own strength, for I knew that their belief went beyond a simple allegiance to a man wearing a mask.

It was my only consolation.

Closing my eyes, I entered the state of meditation, seeking shelter deep inside me. Looking to relieve my suffering and find order within. The spirits were locked there, underground, rustling, struggling to escape. But they could not.

For I was now the spirit of Chaos, contained.  
A being of imbalance, graced with _balance._


End file.
